Bella's Revenge
by Shakespeare's Lady
Summary: Bella was a shell after Edward left her. She hated men. She was disgusted by them. She wanted revenge. What better way to get revenge than to use them? The plan works well…until Edward comes back. Rated M for lemons. Bella’s POV.
1. Jacob

I watched him walk to me. I couldn't believe how buff he was, how muscular. Jacob had really filled out over the last few months. My eyes scanned his body, focusing on the area in his pants. I wondered how big he was and was determined to find out.

Ever since Edward left me four years ago, I have been a desolate shell. The hole in my chest is huge. It will never heal. It left me bitter and cynical. I now look at men differently; like objects. I don't want to be romanced; I just want to use them. I use them for my pleasure only. I have become something of a nymphomaniac, craving sex all the time. But purely for physical pleasure. I know I will never have the emotional connection I had with Edward. He is the only one that I would want to make love to me; the only one whom I would share my soul with. Everyone else, I use and throw away.

Jacob would be no different. I knew his feelings for me were different. But I wasn't opposed to a friend with benefits.

"It's so good to see you again," I said. He smiled at me and enveloped me in a hug. He was so warm, so inviting.

"You too, Bella," he replied. He pulled back and stared into my eyes. "You sure about this?"

"Totally."

"Okay, then. I'm ready when you are." I took his hand and led him to my car. I was now living in Los Angeles. I needed sun after graduating from college. Jacob had graciously decided to spend a week with me. He was considering transferring to UCLA in the fall and wanted to see what goods LA had. I planned to show him the time of his life while he was here.

If he did transfer here, I could continue to get my pleasure from him. No doubt he will be fun. Just looking over at him while driving to my apartment I could tell I was in for a wild ride.

"You okay?" I asked him. He looked nervous. "Yeah," he replied. "I just don't know what I'm doing, Bella."

I pulled into my parking space and we got out. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "I haven't been with a woman before." I stared at him. "What do you mean?" I asked again. He chuckled. "I'm a virgin, Bella."

I couldn't believe it. Jacob had a body to die for; how could he be a virgin? "Jacob, I'm sorry for my reaction. It just surprised me with how hot you are." He raised an eyebrow at me. "You think I'm hot?"

I nodded. "I wouldn't want to do this otherwise." He nodded. "Are you okay with it?"

"Yes," he said. He scanned my body, smirking. "Are you okay with me being a virgin?"

"Of course."

We entered my apartment. I went to the kitchen and pulled out some drinks. I only drank lager, so my fridge had Killian's in it. I went back to Jacob in my living room. He was checking out my bookcase.

"Wow, you have so many books." I chuckled.

"Yes, reading is a great pleasure for me. Almost as great as fucking." I scanned my eyes down his body again. "Killians?"

His face lit up when I offered it to him. He took a big swig of it. "Whoa, careful tiger," I teased.

"Sorry, nervous," he said. I shook my head. "There's no reason to be nervous, Jake. It's just me."

We drank our beers and chatted about random stuff. Afterwards, I led him to the bedroom. Since I now knew he was a virgin, I knew I'd have to take the lead. Not a problem for me, I usually was the initiator. But I was never turned down.

I shut the door and pulled my tee-shirt off over my head. His eyes grew big at my boldness. He dropped them to my chest and inhaled sharply. I had on my lacy red push-up bra. I smiled at him.

"See anything you like?" I asked. His breathing increased. "Yes," he said. He brought his hand up and cupped my breast. God, even through the fabric he felt great. My nipple hardened under his touch. And I wanted more.

"Touch me Jacob." He pulled me to him and kissed my neck. I didn't kiss on the lips; didn't do that since Edward left me. It was too personal, too intimate. I didn't want intimacy, I wanted physical pleasure.

"Ah…Jacob," I mumbled. He reached around and unclasped my bra. I raised my eyebrow at him. He smirked.

"I may be a virgin, but I've gotten to second base before." I chuckled and threw the bra across the room. He stared at my bare chest.

"Bella," he said, voice gritty with lust. "You are perfect." He brought both hands up and cupped my breasts. Tingles surged through me. He bent down and started running his tongue over my left one, still fondling the right one.

I began moaning. His touch felt so good. I ran my fingers through his hair. His lips returned to my neck. I walked us backwards to the bed and sat on it.

"Strip," I ordered him. He raised his eyebrows at me. He pulled his shirt off, revealing his chiseled chest. He quickly removed his jeans, leaving only his briefs on. I could see a huge bulge and my eyes grew wide.

"Strip," he ordered me. I stood up and removed my pants. He smiled at the red lacy panties that matched my bra. I pulled them off and threw them across the room. He leaned down and continued to place kisses on my body.

"God, Bella," he mumbled. "You are _so_ perfect." I chuckled. How many times had I heard that before?

I gently pushed him into a standing position and tugged on his briefs. He raised an eyebrow at me and quickly removed them. Huge.

I was on him then, licking and sucking his cock. The noises coming from him drove me further.

"B-Bella," he stammered, placing his hand on my hair. "I don't know how long I can last."

"Then don't," I said, glancing up at him. I continued to suck him. I would take as much of his shaft in my mouth as I could and when it got to be too much, I would focus on just the head. It was meant to drive them wild; with him being a virgin, I knew it would.

He lasted about a minute longer, exploding in my mouth. I casually lapped it up, never left any cum remaining. Then I took the head of him of placed it to my breast. I began to draw circles around it, moaning with the sensation.

It was as if it was suddenly too much for him. He pushed me back on the bed and hovered over me, lust radiating from his eyes. I knew I had him. I felt him at my core and stopped him. He looked at me quizzically and I handed him a condom. I never went bareback; that was asking for trouble. I used men, I didn't love them. Bareback was for those in an intimate relationship, those who trusted each other enough to not get hurt. After Edward, I would never trust men again.

After the condom was placed, he lined up. I looked into his eyes. "Last chance to back out, Jacob," I said. His answer was thrusting inside of me.

God he felt good! His huge cock rubbed my vaginal walls like no one else. It actually started the pleasure coursing through me early. He pulled out and entered again, modifying his rhythm. I knew he was doing that for my benefit, but as I said, I didn't make love; I fucked.

"You don't have to go slow, Jacob," I told him gently. He looked at me. "I like it fast and rough." As though I had spoken the magic word, his movement increased. I could tell it wouldn't be long for him, being a virgin and all. I probably wouldn't get off, but I planned on using him again.

He thrusted hard and deep. My pelvis smacked against his, driving both of us on. I gripped his hair as he licked and sucked my breast. I let out a soft moan.

"You feel _so_ good," I told him. His breathing increased and he wrapped his arms around me.

"God, Bella, I can't believe this. You sure we'll do it again?" He was sweating and panting now.

I smiled. "Of course. Now that I've deflowered you, I have to teach you." He laughed lightly and increased his pace.

He actually held out longer than I thought he would. Several times he reached his peak and he would stop until the wave subsided. Then he'd start again, driving me to the brink.

I actually came before him. That was unusual; virgins usually last a few minutes. But I felt the explosion building. I gripped onto him tightly.

"Ja-Jacob," I panted. He looked into my eyes. "I'm going to cum. God, I don't want to, you feel _so_ good. But I'm going to…." As soon as I got that out, I exploded. He continued his movement for a minute more, but I think my orgasm drove him to the brink. He arched his back and squeezed his eyes shut. I watched him as the orgasm hit, awed at how beautiful he looked. Because of the condom, I couldn't feel him spray inside me. And that was good; I hated the idea of cum inside. I was on birth control but the whole idea of it inside me disgusted me. My mouth was one thing, my vagina was something else.

His movement slowed and then stopped. He placed a kiss on my cheek and pulled out. I groaned from the loss of contact. He rolled over on his back, removing the condom and throwing it out. Then he reached over and pulled me to him.

"Thanks, Bella," he breathed into my hair.

"Don't thank me Jacob," I said. "It wasn't a service. I wanted to fuck you for while. And now I have."

He laughed lightly. "So, if I attend UCLA, will you be my sex ed teacher?"

"Of course. I'll be the one to teach you everything. And of course, no strings attached."

Jacob sighed. "Good. Thanks again, Bella."

"My pleasure, Jacob." And it was. It was always _my_ pleasure.


	2. Cameron

"Oh…God Bella…I'm…going…to…c-cum…." Cameron's back arched and he squeezed his eyes shut. His body was rigid for a moment and then relaxed. His head fell against my chest and he tried to regulate his breathing.

I don't know why I continue to do this with Cameron; he is so selfish. He only cares about getting himself off. In all the times we have been together, I have _never_ gotten off when with Cameron. Just something about him doesn't do it for me. Maybe it's because he doesn't believe in foreplay. He just gets it up and thrusts into me without a second thought.

He rolled off of me. "That was so good, Bella," he said.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," I said sarcastically. I got up and grabbed my robe.

"Totally did," he said. He was so clueless. "You are so good Bella. When I have sex with you, I always have such intense orgasms." He laced his hands behind his head.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked. "Yeah, a beer would be good," he replied. Typical. It was always a beer when after sex. I let the guys linger for a bit after sex so as not to appear as a complete bitch, but Cameron was grating on my nerves. He was so self-centered that I could never stand him for more than an hour. And sex with him takes about five minutes.

I took the beer out of the refrigerator and replayed the afternoon in my head. He called me half an hour after we were supposed to meet to tell me he was running late. Then he showed up sans flowers (sometimes they try to make up and get back on my good side…no Bella means no sex) and immediately pulled his shirt off. He led me to the bedroom and told me to strip. After I did, he removed his pants and boxers, leaving his socks on, and slipped the condom on. Then he told me to get on all fours.

He thrusted inside me in one swift movement and immediately started pounding. He held my hips and refused to fondle me or kiss any part of my body. He even refused to scratch an itch that formed on my back. He began breathing heavily and his speed increased. He grunted and came inside the condom.

But, as usual, he wasn't done. He pulled the condom off, replaced it and turned me around. I like pacing, different angles, things like that. Cameron doesn't. I was hoping he'd move my legs to allow better access for both of us, but nope. He entered me and again started thrusting furiously. He was sweating hard and grunting. His hands remained at my hips. He made me fondle my own breasts. Apparently that was quite a turn on for him, but not for me. He didn't even bother to kiss or lick them, just watched me fondle them while he pounded the shit out of my vagina.

He lasted for about five minutes before cuming again.

I left the kitchen and returned to the bedroom. He seemed to be ready again, but I wasn't about to give in.

"No, Cameron," I said, handing the beer to him. "I have things to do. You had your fun. After the beer, it's time for you to go."

He shrugged. "Okay." I rolled my eyes.

He chugged the beer and stood up. He dressed quickly and left, without saying goodbye. I knew he'd be back, but I was done. Cameron was about to be scratched off the list.

I put on a black tee-shirt and blue jeans and brushed my hair. My mind wandered and I began to think about Edward. I tried not to think about him, but sometimes it was impossible.

I wondered what he was doing right now; probably hunting, wherever he was. _My kind…we're easily distracted._ He probably had several things to occupy his mind and time now. I wondered if he was still with the family. What is Alice doing right now? Jasper? I smiled, I really liked Jasper. I never held any grudge against him for wanting my blood. That was his nature; it was to be expected. The birthday party could have been a lot worse. I tried telling Edward that, but he was so stubborn. He refused to listen. He always refused to listen to me.

I got up and straightened the bed linens out. I really wanted Edward to be my first. I knew he didn't want to because of his strength. He was worried about killing me. But I didn't care about that. I wanted _him_. I wanted to show him how much I loved him. But that didn't happen.

After the bed was fixed I walked into the living room and looked around. I need to get some new furniture. I can afford it; I just haven't gotten around to it. Work has taken a lot of my time. I work for a talent agency here in LA; talent agency to the stars. I have met George Clooney and Meryl Streep working for them. I sighed. Maybe I can go shopping this week.

I plopped down on the couch and picked up _Cosmopolitan._ I'm sure I could give them sex advice; they'd probably have to edit it!

My phone jingled and I saw I had a text message. Cameron. I sighed and read it.

_Had a great time, babe. Can't wait to do it again._ I shook my head. There won't be a next time. I'm done with Cameron.

_Yeah, sure,_ I sent back. Then I deleted his number from my phone.

It jingled again. Now Cameron was getting on my nerves. I opened it.

_Can't wait to be with you, Bella._ My brow furrowed. Who was that? I didn't recognize the number. It was totally possible that one of the guys got his number changed and just didn't tell me. But I still wondered.

_Who is this?_ I text back. Immediately it jingled.

_Lol._ That was all it said.

I was tired of this. I deleted the messages and put the phone on silent. I went back to my magazine. I was done with games for now.

But something in the back of my head told me to remember this.


	3. Alex

"You know if we get caught, we'll be fired?" Alex asked me as he sat me on my desk. He ran his hand over my panties, feeling how wet they already were. I moaned at the touch and pulled him closer. Just thinking of getting off makes me wet.

"That's what makes this fun," I said slyly. I have always wanted to do it at work. Alex was the hunky security guard who kept obsessed fans from entering the building. He was fit and built and looked great in his uniform. I sensed an instant attraction between us the first day I started. Now I was about to take that attraction further.

He unbuckled his pants and shoved them down far enough to expose himself. I lifted my skirt up and handed the condom to him. He put it on and then started kissing my neck. I stroked him feverishly. He groaned and looked into my eyes.

"I can't wait to fuck you, Bella. I've wanted to for so long."

"Then do it," I said. I had no time for this; when I use men, I use them. I don't wait around.

He gripped my ass and entered slowly. He wasn't as big as I would have liked, but that was okay for me. I lay back on the desk to give him better access, knocking a picture of Charlie down. He began pumping furiously.

Alex was by no means inexperienced. He was married…with kids. But he had an unhealthy habit of cheating on his wife. I knew I should feel guilty about this, but I didn't. That would mean I care. I don't. I'm cynical and bitter. If he wants to ruin his life, that's his business. I'll just enjoy the ride…and ride it was.

I started thinking how kinky it would be if he bent me over the desk and entered from behind. I don't mean anal; I never do that. Doggy-style, I guess you call it. I'm sure we'd both have fun with that; I can grip the desk for support. But as it was now, my back was lying on the desk.

He lifted my right leg to give himself better access. I rose up on my elbows to watch. His eyes were closed; he looked like he was concentrating hard. I smiled. That's what I like to see; a man working hard to please me.

He felt fine, too. Not mind-blowing like some others, but a good time. I could feel him against my walls, could feel him driving deeper, trying to reach my center. I put my leg down and gripped his ass to pull him in more. I knew he wouldn't reach it, none of them did. And I don't really want them to, either. Most of the time I wish they wouldn't bother.

He groaned and increased his pace. His shirt was wet from sweat, little drops forming on the tips of his hair.

"I can't believe this, Bella," he said.

"What?"

"That you feel so good. I figured you'd be good, tight little ass that you have, but I never imagined _how_ much." He slowed his pace a bit; he was getting close and wanted to savor longer. Not cool.

I plastered on a smile. "I'm glad you approve."

"I wish, though, that we were both naked. I would love to fondle your breasts and really drive you wild."

"Maybe next time, Alex," I said. He noticed my head was near the end of the desk and he pulled me back a bit.

"That can't be comfortable," he said. I gripped his shoulders and pulled him down. He kissed my neck.

"I'm fine. Just fuck me." His speed increased again. I knew I wouldn't get off but I was still enjoying myself immensely. The control I had over men never ceased to amaze me. I know that some men use women; they are cold-hearted and callous. I was part of the club; only I used _them_. That was a liberating feeling, actually. To know that I have no interest in relying on them to make me happy. That I can just get what I want and throw them out. Some may think me a bitch for that. I really don't care. Love is for those fortunate enough to find it. I'm not. I gave up on it years ago.

Alex's grunting increased and he gripped my hips harder. He started cuming and convulsing. I ran my hands along his shoulders and down his arms.

At that moment, Edward flashed in my mind. The look on his face was devastation. I scowled. _Why the hell is he haunting me now? He caused me to be a bitter shell. He has NO right to look so fucking devastated_.

Alex pulled out. I sat up and smoothed my skirt. He zipped back up and looked at me.

"Amazing," he said with a smile. I smiled in return.

"Thanks."

He kissed my cheek. "I owe you one, Bella. Let's get together again, when I can fuck you slowly and torturously. When I can make you scream my name."

I hopped off the desk and raised an eyebrow at him. "You really think a lot of yourself, don't you?"

He chuckled. "Yes."

I walked to the door and opened it. He followed and crossed the threshold. "Let a little time pass, Alex. We don't want anyone to suspect and tell your wife." He nodded and turned back to me.

"Thanks Bella. Have a good night."

"Same to you."

I watched him walk down the hall before closing the door. I turned back to my desk and began straightening up. I knew I'd have to dispose of the trash before the cleaning crew found it; I don't think my boss would like seeing a used condom in the trash.

I smiled. That would be a funny story though. _Well, here's the thing, sir. Alex and I have been flirting for awhile now. I finally took that flirtation to the next level. Just wanted to keep office communication open._ Yeah, that'd work.

It was dark out now; close to eight in the evening. It was the Friday before a three-day weekend. That was why I planned to fuck Alex tonight. The memory can eat at him for three days until we are back on Tuesday. It'll probably drive him _so_ wild that he'll want to take me again on Tuesday for more of the same. I am undecided about actually doing it again; once was enough for me. But…it might be fun.

I have actually never messed around with a married man before. I generally avoid them, but when I think about the high divorce rates and the fact that these men are _looking_ for a fuck and then I reconsider. But I never actually took it that far…until now. I like the whole "being sneaky" bit and since I'm not looking for commitment, I'm the perfect person to mess around with. That still rocks the boat though and gives me a sense of guilt.

Alex was rare; I doubt they'll be another. I try to have _somewhat_ of a conscious when doing this; the last thing I need is an angry wife coming after me, even if I had no intention of ever sleeping with her husband again. But Alex's wife, Megan, is another story. She is actually one of our clients and _very_ stuck on herself. It wouldn't surprise me at all if she is cheating on him as well. But her being married to a "nobody" helps give her a good reputation in Hollywood. I shudder to think how many celebrities have passed through these walls with that same attitude.

I picked up my purse and headed out to the garage. My car, as always, was as far from the building as you can get. As I began my walk, a breeze brushed by me. I stopped and looked around; there were no doors or windows anywhere.

_Weird_, I thought. I reached my car and got in. I put a CD in the car and started up, speeding out of there in a hurry. The breeze gave me a little concern; I wanted to get home.

I opened the roof and let my hair blow in the wind. I inhaled deeply….

Earthy scent, musky. The smell of Edward. I slammed on the brakes; luckily no one was around. I scanned the area, quickly looking for him. Nothing to be found.

_You are imagining things_, I told myself. _He is in the back of your mind because he flashed in your head while fucking Alex. Guilt trip. Get a grip._

Again, something inside told me that was not entirely true. 


	4. Bella

I groaned. I had just walked out of the third furniture store that day. Nothing seemed to work. I wanted Earthy tones; sage, brown, cream and black. My bedroom was the room with color, but I would get to that at another time. Now was strictly the living room.

Like always, the sun was shining brightly. I squinted while I put on my sunglasses. It was Sunday, two days after I messed around with Alex. He texted me, saying he had a wonderful time but it probably wouldn't happen again. His wife was sniffing around. It didn't surprise me at all; I knew there would be risk.

I walked a few blocks towards the next furniture shop, feeling the sun on my face. It was so warm, so inviting. Almost friendly. I paused by a mailbox, raised my head up and closed my eyes. I sighed.

"Hi, Bella."

I jumped and opened my eyes quickly. Lucy, one of my coworkers, smiled. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you."

I shook my head. "No, it's okay. I probably look silly."

"Not at all. I enjoy the sun's rays too. You may want to look into tanning."

"Well actually, I have considered it." It was true; I was _so_ pale and stood out like a sore thumb in Los Angeles. I knew that with my brown hair and eyes, being darker might help me blend in more. Course, pale is in now….

Lucy handed me a card. "This is where I go. If you're interested, let me know. I'll schedule an appointment for both of us. We can make a girl's day of it." She grinned.

I laughed. Lucy was such a nice woman. "I'll let you know."

She nodded. "I'll see you on Tuesday, Bella."

I waved at her as she walked by. Lucy was very pretty; blond hair, blue eyes, great teeth, not a flaw anywhere. Typical plastic surgery poster child. It didn't surprise me at all that she tanned herself.

I walked quickly to the furniture store. This would be my last one today. I wanted to spend some time lying in my hammock and reading.

Upon entering, I noticed a cream-colored recliner that I instantly liked. It was suede; just what I wanted. I went over and sat in it. Comfy. I pulled the lever and it kicked back. I leaned back and put my feet up.

"Nice, isn't it?" the sales lady asked me. I nodded.

"I don't exactly know what I want," I told her. She smiled and listened intently. "My living room is Earth tones; I want cream, brown, sage or black. Preferably all of them, but I'm open to only one or two. But it all depends on me finding the right thing."

"Of course," she said. "Buying furniture is not something you should rush into. You are welcome to look all you want."

I thanked her and she left. I continued to look around, but I kept coming back to the cream recliner. I wondered if I can find a couch in the same colored cream to match. I made a few notes about the style and SKU number for future reference. I wrote down the saleslady's name and left the store.

By now I was really craving a smoothie. I crossed the street and bought a low-fat berry blast. Three types of berries: blackberries, raspberries and strawberries. It was my favorite kind. I ordered a large and started strolling home.

I finished the smoothie as I reached home. I threw it in the trash and went inside. Immediately I grabbed my book and returned outside. I headed directly for the hammock. After settling in, I picked up _Wuthering Heights_ and started reading.

I felt my eyelids growing heavy; I decided to take a little catnap. In the dream, I saw myself giving oral. And I was really enjoying it. I never really enjoyed it; figured I _had_ to with men, but I seemed to really _want_ to do this. The man's hand gently stroked my hair and he writhed from pleasure. I could hear groaning and moaning and suddenly he spurted into my mouth, long and hard. I tasted honey and cream and swallowed all of it. I raised my eyes up to look at the man I had just finished. I focused on his adorable belly button, then his six-pack abs and chiseled chest, how beautiful and toned it was. My eyes roamed upward and I saw the firm jaw line, the chiseled cheekbones and the purplish, bruised-looking shadows under his eyes. I saw his bronze-colored hair in disarray even more than usual. He was trying to control his breathing and his eyes were closed. He looked content; happy…like an angel.

I awoke when I hit the ground. I had rolled at one point and fell out of the hammock, my book flying out of sight. _Why was I dreaming that? What the hell?!_ I got up and went in, leaving my book somewhere outside.

My stomach growled; it was four in the afternoon. I made a salad and ate quickly. I was still shaken from that dream and wanted to clear my head. I put on _Halloween_ to help settle me.

After that was over, I put in the second one. I still couldn't get the image out of my head. Edward left me, he had no desire for me whatsoever. Why would I even imagine him wanting me in a sexual way; let alone _any_ way? Why would I imagine him letting me pleasure him?

_Focus, Bella._ I turned back to the television to watch Michael Myer's rampage of horror.

I climbed into bed at eleven-thirty, determined to not think about that dream anymore. I shut the light off and my phone jingled.

_Sweet dreams, Bella._ The number was unknown to me but different from the last time.

I had an idea who was texting me. Cameron had been playing a lot of games lately; I was almost convinced it was him.

_U 2_, I texted back.

I put my head on my pillow and closed my eyes. My phone jingled again. I opened it and raised my eyebrow at what it said.

_Lol._


	5. Chris

I stood looking out the window waiting for the pizza to arrive. My friend Chris had come over. Chris was one of my friends with benefits. We got together every so often, usually when he was in between girlfriends. I liked that he never expected a commitment to me as I was not ready to give one.

"Come sit with me, Bella," he said. I turned and smiled at him. "After the pizza gets here."

He groaned. "You can sit and relax. I don't know why you're so nervous. It's not like we've never done this before."

I walked to him and chuckled. "True. And it's not you, it's me." He raised his eyebrow at me as I realized what I said. "No, really! Things have been a little weird lately and it's messing with my mind."

He raised his eyebrow even further. "What's going on Bella?" I shrugged. "Tell me."

I sighed and placed a hand in his. He started massaging it gently, sending tingles all through me. "I've been getting strange text messages. At first I thought they were from this guy, Cameron, but now I'm not sure."

"What kind of messages?"

"Nothing creepy. Just things like 'sweet dreams' and 'I'm thinking of you' and 'I'll see you soon.' They've been on and off for about a month. I'm guessing it's just one of the guys messing around."

He looked at me. "Maybe if you stopped sleeping around this wouldn't happen." I yanked my hand from his. "Excuse me? I don't need a lecture!" I shot up and started walking away. He stopped me by placing his hands on my shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything. I'm just saying that your lifestyle has probably caused one of the men to cyber-stalk you. Or in this case, text-stalk you."

I smiled. He started rubbing my upper arms. Chris always made me feel at ease. "Bella, maybe you should settle down." I made a face. "Hear me out. I know what happened to you. But that was four years ago. You've grown up and matured quite a bit since then. You _can't_ be happy with your life right now. If you had a meaningful relationship, maybe the jerk off who is sending the texts will get the picture and stop."

I placed my hands over his. He stopped his motions. "Chris, _who_ would I date?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Me…" he trailed off.

I looked at him. He was dead serious. "What?" I asked him. He continued. "I think it's time we moved past the friends-with-benefits stage and actually start a relationship." I continued to look at him.

"Chris, why do you want to mess everything up?" I groaned. I put my head in my hands.

He removed my hands and lifted my chin. "We already know so much about each other. We are _so_ great in bed. We enjoy spending time together. Why not?"

"I don't want to be a convenience." His crystal blue eyes smiled back at me.

"Is this a convenience?" He pulled me to him and planted his lips on mine before I had a chance to pull away. _What the hell?_ I thought. _I DON'T do this! I don't kiss on the mouth anymore. I have to stop him…but it feels SO good._

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I pushed myself away quickly and opened it to see the pizza man.

When the business transaction was over, I took it into the living room. Chris had moved back there and sat down. I opened the box and started eating a piece without a word. I could feel his eyes on me.

"Bella," he said after a few minutes. I looked at him. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't want to do that. Would you please just think about what I said?"

I nodded and continued chewing on my pizza. My mind was swimming. _The kiss was good, but not great. But it CAN'T happen again. I WON'T allow it_.

"I'll think about it, I swear." He smiled at me. "Can we please change the subject before I lose my nerve and not have sex with you at all?"

He ate his pizza slowly. "That was what I was hoping." I tilted my head. "Huh?" I was hoping that we would stop the friends-with-benefits until you made a decision. If you decide to have a relationship, great. We'll see how things progress. If not, we can go back to that route. But I don't want to until I know."

_Why are men suddenly so needy?_ I nodded. "Sure." I took another slice of pizza and set it on my napkin. "In that case, do you want to see a movie?"

"Yes! Do you have _Halloween_?" I laughed. "You _know_ I love that movie."

He smiled. "I know. It's great entertainment watching you when he's going around slashing. You look like you enjoy the carnage and at the same time you look terrified."

I stuck the movie in the player and it started immediately. "Well, yeah. I am happy when he kills the lovers. Ever since…." I trailed off and looked at him. His look wanted me to continue. "Ever since Edward left me, I have never wanted anything to do with romance. I never wanted to see it or hear about it or read about it, which is really hard since _Wuthering Heights_ is my favorite book."

He chuckled. "I can understand. You're hurting. But sometimes you need someone to help you heal."

I plopped down on the couch. I didn't look at him. I knew he was right, but I couldn't deal with it right now. Could I really love again? Allow myself to be hurt like that? I shut my heart off after Edward left. That's why I started sleeping with men, to have power over them. To show that they will never hurt me again. To have them beg to be with me as I turn my back and walk away. To tell them 'no, I don't want you;' similar to what Edward said to me. To feel desired and sexual and powerful without worrying about getting hurt. That is what I want…I think.

I was so engrossed in the movie that I didn't even notice Chris taking my hand. Only when he pressed his lips to mine did I realize what was going on. I turned and smiled at him. He smiled back and our eyes locked.

_NO!_

I broke the gaze quickly and turned back to the screen. He sighed and kept my hand.

When the movie was over, he stood up. "I'm going to take off, Bella." He walked to the door as I followed. "Please promise me you'll think about what I said."

"I will." I smiled sincerely. I would think about it. He kissed my cheek. "Good. See you later Bella."

I started cleaning up after Chris left. I actually felt good about us not having sex. I couldn't believe that. I thought I'd have to please a man as soon as he stepped through the threshold.

I grabbed the trash and took it outside. The neighbor's dog, who was usually quiet, started barking and growling at me. I rolled my eyes, figuring it was just bored, and went back inside. The barking continued.

I curled up on the couch with the plan to read _Wuthering Heights_ for the rest of the afternoon. I forced myself to not think about what Chris had said. But I saw him as Heathcliff and myself as Catherine in the book. I slammed the book shut and set it on the coffee table. I lay back on the couch and closed my eyes.

I slowly opened them and looked directly into honey-colored ones. They were mesmerizing and full of emotion. I knew those eyes anywhere.

Edward. My mouth formed words, but nothing came out. A cool finger gently brushed my lips, eyes never leaving mine.

"Bella," he murmured. I smiled against his finger. He smiled back, his eyes swimming with love. I closed mine for a second to collect my thoughts. When I opened them, he was gone.

I sat up and slowly looked around. _He was here. I saw him. He touched me, said my name. It couldn't have been a dream. He was REAL…wasn't he?_

I could smell him; his scent lingered long after he was gone. That, combined with the coolness of my lips, should have been enough to convince me. But I had been seeing him so much in my dreams lately that it didn't.

Edward Cullen was never coming back.


	6. Jacob Again

"Jacob, I want you to be rough with me." We were heading up the stairs to my bedroom discussing about our night activities. Jake didn't like being rough; he thought it would hurt me. He didn't understand that I _liked_ it rough; that was for people who fuck and that was me.

"Bella, I'm so much stronger than you. What if I hurt you?"

"Then I'll let you know." We entered my bedroom. I put on some music and walked over to him, kissing his neck and blowing on the wet spots. He shivered.

"Bella," he started to say.

"Shhh," I told him. I removed my shirt, revealing a new bra that I had bought for tonight's romp. It was light blue satin with pink roses. My underwear matched it…but he wouldn't know that until he did something about it!

He sucked in a breath and brought his up to cup my right breast. It felt good, but not as good as before. I wondered what was wrong. He adjusted and started cupping the right one. His lips went to my neck and he left a trail of kisses all the way down my shoulder while removing my strap.

"Do you need help?" I teased. He looked at me and smiled. Keeping eye contact with me, he reached behind and unhooked my bra. It slumped forward and I quickly discarded it.

Jacob knelt down and started kissing my stomach while fondling my breasts. _What is wrong with me? I usually am driven nuts when someone touches my breasts. Why is this different?_

His hands left my breasts and moved to undo my jeans. He pulled them down gently and groaned when he saw the matching panties. I smiled. He placed kisses on my outer thighs and moved his right hand to my center. I parted my legs a little to give him access. I felt him run over my clit through the fabric. Not as electrifying as in the past. _What the hell?!_

He grabbed the panties and pulled them down. He leaned back on his heels so I could remove them properly. I stood, completely naked, before him. He had so much lust in his eyes.

Suddenly he shot up and walked me backwards to the bed. I sat down and tugged on his pants. Without another word, he undid his belt and slipped his pants and briefs down in one movement and kicked them off. Then he pulled his shirt off. He pushed me back on the bed and hovered over me. I closed my eyes.

I felt his hands on my breasts again as his lips went to my collarbone. I slowly let out a breath. The feel of him was amazing. And finally, I couldn't wait any more.

I slowly sat up and reached for the condom on my nightstand. As he put it on, I placed kisses on his chest. A low groan escaped his throat and he gripped my thighs. In one movement, he filled me.

I arched my back. He still felt good. This was the second time we've been together and his inexperience shows, but it was still enough to get me worked up.

"Remember, fast," I told him. He nodded and started pumping, slowly at first and then increasing rapidly. I could feel his shaft almost leave my opening and then fill me again. The friction spurned him on even more. He placed his hands on my hips and tried to regulate his breathing.

"God, Bella," he managed to choke out. "This is amazing." I ran my fingers through his hair and let him continue to pound my vagina. It felt good, of course, but like everything else, not as good as it could be. I didn't understand what was going on, but was determined to have a good time.

His breathing increased rapidly and he arched his back. He was getting close and I was nowhere near. _Oh well_, I thought. _There's always next time_. His grip on my hips tightened and he reached his peak. He laid his head on my chest and waited for his breathing to regulate.

"You okay?" I asked him. "Yeah," he whispered. He rolled off me and removed the condom. "Bella, I don't understand why I came so fast. I know you didn't get off; I'm sorry." I rolled onto my side to face him. "Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong."

"I didn't get you off," he said. I ran my finger down his arm; he shivered. "That's okay. I'm happy that I got you off. You know how much of a compliment that is?" He looked at me. "Really?" I smiled. "Yes. It was fine Jake. You were fine. You want a drink?" He said yes. I got up and grabbed my robe.

When I returned, Jacob grabbed me and threw me on the bed. He untied my robe and started running his hands down my body. I moaned at the contact. I sat up and shoved the robe off my arms.

This time it was him who reached into the drawer on my nightstand. He put another condom on and lifted my legs over his shoulder. My eyes grew wide at his aggression. He smiled and entered me again. This was different. Men usually did not go for a second time, but I wasn't about to deny it. He felt good and the fact that he wanted to do it again was a great triumph for me. I slid my legs down his arms and steadied myself. His pace increased quickly.

His hands fondled my breasts while he placed kisses on my body. I continued to run my fingers through his hair while the pressure built.

I could feel him rubbing my walls and the sensation made me shiver. The pressure was building faster now and he raised his eyes to me. I could see he was fighting to hold on, wanting me to go first. He raised my leg to make himself go deeper and continued to thrust frantically. I could feel the release coming and I welcomed it.

I let out a small scream as the explosion hit. After I was finished, his release followed almost immediately. We lay together, not moving, for a few minutes.

"Wow, Jacob," I said. "I've never fucked a guy twice in a row." He looked up at me and smiled. "Then I feel honored," he said. He groaned as he withdrew and laid next to me, pulling me into his arms.

We lay like that for awhile, neither speaking, just enjoying the post-coital experience. I gently ran a finger over his arms and every so often he would moan at the contact. I smiled.

_Yep, still got it._

********

**A/N**: It was time for Bella to get back to her roots, huh? Notice, though, how she's not as into it as she was. Edward, although not totally present yet, is already messing with her…psychologically at least.

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	7. Scott

"Ah…ah…ah, God Bella!" Scott said as he pounded me furiously. I was on my hands and knees and he was behind me, his hands running up and down my back. My hair fell over my shoulders and he groaned at the sensation.

Scott was a first-timer for me. We met at the adult bookstore. He had been spending most of his day watching porn and I ran in to buy a vibrator for a bachelorette party I was attending the next weekend. When we met, he was looking at new films. I told him that I would rock his world and before I knew it, we were in the hotel across the street. He told me he only fucked doggie-style and there we were. I was actually glad that he couldn't really reach my breasts as I didn't want someone like him touching them.

"Scott, you feel great," I encouraged him. It was a lie. He felt good, but not great. But I wasn't about to pass up this chance; so I said what he wanted to hear. I knew I wouldn't get off, my plan was to fake it. I have done this before; generally with Cameron. His grunting increased and he gripped my hips. His thrusting started coming faster and faster, so fast I thought my ass would be bruised from the abuse. He gave one last groan and then he stilled. I closed my eyes, happy that he had a condom on. I didn't want to think about his cum inside me. Disgusting.

Scott was a college student; about twenty. I didn't know much about him as all I wanted was a fuck and fast! It had been three weeks since Jacob and I was going nuts! My vagina was screaming at the lack of contact. Upon seeing Scott, I knew I had my option.

Scott had just gotten together with his girlfriend. He wanted to take things slow with her because she had been through a lot and he really cared about her. He did this without realizing what this would mean for him. For a college student to go awhile without sex was like the sun not shining for a week. It was unheard of. It was the apocalypse.

Scott was not that experienced. I figured like Jacob, he could be a fun student. He wasn't. But I taught him a few things and he was eager to learn. It didn't surprise me that he didn't take long to get off; he'd been aching for this for awhile.

I crawled forward and sat on the bed. Scott kicked his legs out in front of him and looked at me. "That was a great lesson, Bella." He grinned at me. "So, if things go slowly with Angie, can I get some more tips?"

I plastered a smile on my face. _Hell no_, I thought. "Sure. Remember that when it's a woman you _really_ care about, _she_ needs to be the focus. You _can't_ be selfish. It's _her_ pleasure that you need to concentrate on. And vice versa." I got off the bed and slipped my panties on. He watched me as I hooked my bra.

"But that didn't happen with you," he said. I turned to him. "I'm the teacher, you're the student. Plus, you don't care about me the way you care about her. I wouldn't expect you to look out for me. With casual sex, each person is looking for his or her own pleasure. Fuck everyone else!" He laughed at my words.

I finished getting dressed. I had chosen a flirty outfit in case I met someone. I put on my lilac tank top with spaghetti straps, charcoal colored skinny jeans and black stiletto heels. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun with some of it sweeping down on my neck. I licked my lips and added lip gloss. Scott watched me the whole time.

"You're really hot," Scott told me. I turned around and smiled at him. "What's your story?" he asked me. I looked at him in the mirror. "What story?" I asked casually. He got up and put on his boxers. "We all have stories, Bella. I told you mine. What's yours?" I put the lip gloss in my bag and turned around. I didn't want to tell him everything, but he did tell me his story. I figured I'd paraphrase.

"I had a boyfriend who broke my heart," I told him. Scott turned and looked at me. His eyes told me to continue. "He left me when he moved with his family. That was four years ago and I've never recovered. I don't know if I will, Scott. He meant a lot to me." I sat down on the bed.

He came over and sat next to me. He took my hand. "I'm sorry he hurt you," he said. I shrugged. "That was four years ago; a lot of things have changed since then. I am not the same person I was then. I've grown up and graduated college. I am an independent woman responsible for myself. When I sleep with someone," I said, stroking his cheek, "it is _my_ decision and _my_ choice. If I make a mistake, it is up to me to deal with it."

He squeezed mine. "I understand," he said. Then he smiled. "Again, I'm sorry that he hurt you. You seem like a great woman and you're fantastic in bed. I'm sure he misses that."

I smirked. _We never did sleep together,_ I thought. _He doesn't know what he's missing…if anything. Since I wasn't good enough for him, maybe I wouldn't have been in bed either. Maybe if we HAD had sex that would have driven him away sooner._

"Thanks, Scott," I said. I stood up and gave him a hug.

"Thank you, Bella," he said. He took my hand again and patted it. "I hope you find that right guy," he said. I nodded. "I hope things work out with you and Angie. If you need any more practice, let me know," I said with a small smile. _Although I won't help you, I know someone who might._

We left the hotel together and went our separate ways. I climbed into my car and threw my purse on the passenger's seat. It hit the bag that was already there and the contents spilled out. I smirked as I saw the vibrator roll to the floor.

I turned the radio on as I drove home. _Clair de Lune_ started playing. I looked down at the radio and scowled. _Why is this on a hard rock station?_ I wondered. I started scanning stations until I found rap. I'm not a rap fan, but it was better than nothing. I started tapping my foot to Eminem's _Slim Shady_ and turned the volume up.

I tried not to let _Clair de Lune_ bother me. It was, after all, a song that had been around longer than he was. It was a beautiful song, but I didn't have to listen to it. Eminem's song ended and I turned the volume down a bit. I was about a block from my building when _Clair de Lune_ started playing again.

_No way in hell!_ I thought. _This is a RAP station!_ I decided to just turn the radio off. Upon arriving home, I parked the car and started heading inside. My neighbor's dog, Sonny, was barking at me again. I glared at him. I live in a duplex with a nice renter on the other side. His dog, however, was another story. It was a Jack Russell and I'm guessing was just bored. I stopped and watched him. He was barking, growling and bouncing up and down. _What's his problem?_ I thought. _He didn't bark at me when I left but he was outside…I think. Could Scott's smell have somehow rubbed off on me and it's unpleasant for him?_ Just to be on the safe side, I jumped in the shower once inside.

The warm water felt good and I remained until my skin started getting wrinkly. I took a new, fluffy towel out of the closet and wrapped myself in it. I walked into my bedroom and froze.

I blinked. I blinked again. I blinked again rapidly. _I'm seeing things,_ I thought. _He's not here. Just because it LOOKS like he's standing there, he's not. It's not him. It CAN'T be; it's a hallucination._ I continued to stare at the form in front of me. It slowly turned to face me. I saw its golden eyes widen and slowly rake down my body. I realized I was still in my towel. The hallucination's eyes stopped at my legs. Then they slowly worked their way back up. It smiled.

"You're not real," I told it. It continued to smile at me. "You're not here. I'm going to get dressed and get ready for work tomorrow. You are not here; I'm imagining you. You left me and didn't come back. Why would you now?" Those last sentences were laced with venom. The hallucination's smile remained.

I walked to my dresser and pulled out my pajamas. Actually, it was a tee-shirt and lounge pants, but it was comfortable. I threw them on the bed and unhooked the towel. It fell to the floor. I looked behind me. The hallucination was gone.

_Of course,_ I thought. I put my pajamas on and left the bedroom. I spent the rest of the day in front of my computer, preparing for the presentation tomorrow. Although we were an agency, we were trying new ways of advertising. My job was to show how effective we were. I put everything on my jump drive and placed it in my purse. The presentation was in the afternoon and I would print everything in the morning. I heard Sonny barking again and rolled my eyes. _That dog is so annoying_.

At the end of the evening, I unmade my bed and stepped in a damp spot. I looked down and gasped. I went into the bathroom and saw my towel hanging on the rack, partly dry.

I had not moved it off the floor.


	8. Bella Again

There was a loud commotion outside my office. I got up from my desk to see what was going on. As I stepped in the hall, I saw the other executives pop their heads out as well. I made eye contact with one and shrugged. I walked to the source of the noise, my white heels clicking on the floor. Then I heard yelling.

"—When I find out who they are, it'll be the end of you!" the woman screamed. I heard something thrown against a wall. It was coming from our boardroom. I reached the door just as Peter, head of security, did. We looked at each other and I followed after him. My mouth dropped at what I saw.

Alex was there with a beautiful woman. I recognized her as his wife. I knew that because she was one of our clients. She was the one shouting obscenities and throwing things. Alex was staying calm and trying to make her see reason. She stopped when she saw us.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Peter said. "Alex, is there a problem?" Alex shook his head no. The room started filling up with more people curious about what was going on.

"I'll tell you what the problem is!" The woman was in a rage. "This son of a bitch, no good husband of mine has been cheating on me! Numerous times! You fuck…" she said and started hitting him. Peter jumped in to intervene. Alex looked at me.

My eyes grew wide. I realized that somehow, she had found out about us. Well, not about us, exactly, but about Alex's numerous affairs. _How long until he told her I was one of the women?_ I wasn't too worried about it; there was no proof. There isn't a camera in my office hallway and all evidence had been destroyed. But it still unnerved me for a moment. _This is why I don't mess around with married men!_

Suddenly Alex turned on her. "You should talk! You have been on more casting couches than throw pillows! Don't threaten me, Megan." Her eyes narrowed and she hit him directly in the mouth.

Peter jumped into action and dragged her out of the boardroom. She was still screaming obscenities. I turned and walked to Alex. His lip was bleeding. The room quietly emptied.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. He nodded. "I'm sorry you had to see that." I shook my head. "I'm sorry to be part of the problem." He looked at me.

"Don't be sorry, Bella. I'm not. My night with you was the best of my life." I scoffed. "Yeah, right." He took my hand. "I'm serious. I have not been able to think of anything else; just how you felt when I was inside you. I really want to fuck you again, but it won't be until this is straightened out."

I shook my head. "I shouldn't have gotten involved with a married man. I'm sorry, Alex. If things go sideways, let me know. But until then, I don't think we should be involved." He sighed and ran his eyes over my body. I had on an A-line white skirt with emerald-green pinstripes and a sleeveless emerald-green blouse. My hair was swept up with curls cascading down. At that moment, I wished I was wearing a snowsuit and a parka.

"Alex!" I said, breaking him out of his trance. He looked at me. "Sure thing. Sorry Bella." He turned and walked out. I followed him and then went to my office.

I was a little unnerved at what had happened. In fact, I couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day. I ended up leaving at two.

I flung my jacket (which matched my skirt) over my arm and grabbed my purse. I told Lucy I was leaving and she smiled. "I'm getting out of here too. Don't need any more crazies dropping by today."

At my car, I pulled out my cell phone. I hadn't had any unusual texts for awhile. I started wondering if I had been getting them from Chris. Ever since he kissed me, they stopped.

_Chris!_ I realized I hadn't given him an answer to his offer. He wanted the two of us to date. I had decided to tell him no. I wasn't ready to open my heart up again to being hurt. _He may not want to continue our current situation, but that's okay with me. I should probably slow down; not fuck so many at a time. But how can I relinquish the power?_

As I climbed into my car, my phone jingled, indicating a text message. I opened it.

_Thinking of you. Jacob_. I smiled. He can always put me at ease. I text back that I was thinking of him and hoped he was doing well.

I stopped at the movie store on the way home and rented _Tropic Thunder_. I loved Robert Downey Jr. and needed a laugh. I saw that Sonny was inside right now. He had been out this morning and seemed happy to see me. He ran over to his side of the fence and waited for me to stick my hand through and pet him. _Complete change from yesterday,_ I thought.

I changed out of my work clothes into sweats and a tank top. I took the clip out of my hair and let it cascade down my back. It looked really pretty. After grabbing a bottle of water from the kitchen, I sat down in front of my computer to check my email. Then I started surfing on EBay.

I didn't realize how much time had elapsed until my phone rang. I jumped, looking at the clock and seeing it was six in the evening. I answered my phone.

"Bella? It's Lucy." _Why is she calling me?_

"Hi Lucy. What's up?"

"I just heard that Alex is in the hospital." I stopped and stared blankly at the screen in front of me. "What?" I asked her.

"Alex is in the hospital. Apparently a bookcase fell on him. Do you want to see him?"

"Yeah, I'll go." I turned my computer off. "Okay, I'll pick you up. I'm in the area; so I should be there in a few minutes." She hung up.

I stood up and grabbed my purse, throwing my phone in it. I put on a pair of flip-flops and checked myself in the mirror. I wasn't looking to be attractive to Alex; I just wanted to look presentable. My tank top and sweatpants were acceptable as well. _Why am I worried about what to wear to a hospital?_

I stepped outside and waited for Lucy to pull up. Sonny was outside now. He came over and whined to be petted. _I guess I'm not poison today. He's not barking and letting me pet him._ I scratched behind his ears and on the top of his head.

A horn honked and I saw Lucy pull up in her red convertible. I climbed in and put on my seatbelt. "How did a bookcase fall on him?" I asked her.

She shrugged and we took off towards the hospital. "I don't know. If there was too much weight on it, it may have fallen. If he was in the wrong place at the wrong time…" she trailed off. We rode the rest of the way in silence.

When we got there, Lucy went to the front desk. After getting the okay, she waved me on and we went to see him. "He's not in critical. It didn't do permanent damage." I drew in my breath.

As we neared his room, I heard him speaking to someone. "I am serious. It was the devil!" Lucy stood in the doorway and I stood behind her, watching him over her shoulder. There were two other men in the room, both police officers.

"Devil, huh?" one of them asked skeptically. Alex nodded. "How do you know it was the devil?" the second one asked.

"He had flaming red hair and black eyes! _Red_ hair and _black_ eyes! If it wasn't the devil, who was it?" Alex turned and saw us. He smiled. "I'm glad you ladies came." We entered the room and sat in the corner. The officers left.

"I'm sorry you're in here, Alex," Lucy said. He nodded. "I'll live." He chuckled to himself.

"How did it happen?" I asked him. "I must have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The bookcase had a lot of weight on it. When I took a book off, it probably was too much and fell."

I raised my eyebrow. "What was that about the devil?" He looked away. "I saw someone who could only be the devil as the bookcase fell. His black eyes were on fire. Then I passed out. The next thing I knew, I was here at the hospital."

We stayed with him for about an hour and then left. The ride back was quiet and I started dozing off. Alex's words kept rolling around in my head. _It was the devil. He had flaming red hair and black eyes! Flaming red hair and black eyes! Red hair and black eyes!_ An image flashed in my head, one of a man with red hair and black eyes…the eyes of a predator.

I jumped awake in my seat. Lucy looked over at me. "Are you okay?" I nodded. "Uh, yeah," I said. "We're here." I got out and said goodnight to Lucy. I went inside and sat on the couch. My mind was going a mile a minute.

_There is only one person I know who looks like that. But it can't be! Edward would never hurt someone; he_ _has a soul. He isn't even around. He left me; why would he suddenly come back? And why would he hurt Alex? It makes no sense! It had to have been a coincidence. That's all._

For the third time, the voice inside me said that wasn't true.

********

**A/N**: Thank you so much for reading this! I hope that you can see Bella's confliction as she is pulling away from her current life and more towards Edward; even though he is not in the picture…yet.

Do you think he really tried to hurt Alex?

Are you ready for him to make an appearance? One where Bella can't doubt herself that he's there?

I hope to post again soon; I'd like to have the story finished by the end of January. It should be roughly twenty chapters. Thanks again! Review!!


	9. Zack

I stood on the sidewalk, waiting for Zack to arrive. He was another friend with benefits, like Chris. Zack was probably the one that I had had sex with the most; we started when I was a sophomore in college. He was a senior and had made a bet with his fraternity brothers that he could bed me before the end of the semester. I know that I should have been pissed when I found out about it, but at the time I was aching for a fuck. Zack was gorgeous and president of the fraternity; whenever he showed interest in a girl, her popularity increased. Lucky me.

I was so broken and distraught about Edward that I allowed Zack to make his advances. And then we started to become friends. Not many people bothered to get to know him. But he let me in. By the time we did sleep together, it was a mutual decision. He had broken off the bet with his brothers.

Zack had a girlfriend. She was an independent consultant. She traveled a lot for her job. She has been all over the United States and even parts of Europe. I have met her; she was pretty with red hair and manicured fingernails. Whenever she left, Zack could usually handle his desires on his own. Sometimes, however, he needed me. This was one of those times.

This was the last time Zack and I would fool around for awhile. She was coming back into town for at least six months. Her job seemed to become more central and Zack wanted to focus on her. I, of course, was completely fine about it. I always figured when I could bring two people closer, then my current lifestyle was worth it.

He pulled up in his red convertible and opened the passenger door.

"Hi," he said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. I smiled. "Where are we going?" I asked, looking over at him.

"My place? Rebecca won't be back until Tuesday; so that gives me time to clean up everything."

I chuckled. "Okay then."

The rest of the ride was silent. We arrived at his apartment and started climbing the stairs to the fifth floor. It was a hot day and Zack did not have air conditioning. I had a slight sheen of sweat on me by the time we reached his door.

"Sweaty already?" he asked me.

I laughed. "Yes, but this is not because of you," I smirked at him. He laughed and we went inside.

Immediately Zack threw me against the door. He placed his lips at my neck and started unbuttoning my blouse.

"In a hurry, are we?" He shoved my shirt off in response. I chuckled. His mouth moved to the other side of my neck.

"Bella," he mumbled against my skin. "You smell great." He took my hand and led me to his bedroom.

Once there, he had me undressed in seconds. He stood back, admiring my body. I began to grow self-conscious. I know my breasts weren't like other women's; they were smaller than Rebecca's. I was always worried that they weren't good enough.

"Is everything all right?" I asked. He nodded. "It's just been awhile since I've seen you, Bella. I forgot how beautiful you were." He started removing his pants and shirt.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to have sex with you, you don't need to lie." He didn't answer, telling me I was right.

He pulled me to the bed. I climbed in it and positioned myself in the center. He took a condom out of his pants pocket and put it on. Then he climbed over me, hitting my knee and causing pain.

"Ready for a ride?" he asked playfully. I laughed. He entered me and began pumping quickly.

I sighed. Typical Zack. Typical of all of them. I guess that I only had myself to blame.

"Oh, oh, Bella," he said, increasing his thrusts. His hands never moved from my hips. He was almost painful, the way he thrusted in and out with no concern for me. I stroked his hair a bit and imagined he was Edward.

Zack's back stiffened and he let out a groan. He shuddered and fell on top of me. It was over. He pulled out and jumped up.

"I feel great, Bella."

"Uh-huh. I'm glad." I sat up and scooted off the bed. I found my clothes and started dressing. He plopped down on the bed.

"Do you have to go?" he asked me. "We could watch a movie or play a game." I put my blouse on and looked at him. "As tempting as that is, Zack, I should really go. I have work to do." I turned to leave.

"Do you want a ride?" I turned back and shook my head. "I'll catch a cab. It's no big deal."

"Okay. Bye, Bella."

I stepped outside his apartment and shut the door. I rolled my eyes and headed downstairs. It didn't take long to hail a cab and I was soon heading home.

My phone chimed, indicating a text message.

_You are so beautiful._ I rolled my eyes.

_Thanks Zack._ I sent the message and laid my phone on the seat. One block from my house, the phone chimed again.

_Who's Zack?_ I raised my eyebrows.

_Chris?_ I sent back.

The cab stopped at my building. After paying, I walked up the stairs and went inside. The phone chimed again.

_Guess again._ Now I was starting to get annoyed. I had a feeling it was Zack just messing with me. I wasn't in the mood.

_Zack, we'll watch a movie some other time. I promise._ I tossed my phone on the bed and jumped in the shower.

After I got out, I saw two messages.

_I said this wasn't Zack._ The first one said.

_You know who this is._ Said the second.

I shook my head and hit the buttons quickly after putting my robe on. I was tired of this.

_No, I don't._

I turned to leave but before I got to the door, it chimed again. I went back and opened it.

_That's a beautiful robe you have on._ My head shot up. I looked around. The window was open, someone was watching me. I looked down at the number. It was unrecognizable. I thought I would Google it.

As if the texter heard me, my phone chimed. _You won't find anything from this number. Google all you want._

Now I was scared. I quickly shut the window and left the bedroom. I went and made sure everything was locked tight. I went back to my phone.

_Who IS this?_

I sat on the couch and stared at the phone. After ten minutes, it chimed. I gasped at the one word it said.

_Edward._


	10. Edward

I stared at the text message. This was a sick joke. Edward wasn't here. He didn't care about me. He left me four years ago. Why would he come back?

I typed a message and hit send before I could rethink it.

_If it really is you, show yourself to me._ I got up and went to the kitchen. I knew whoever it was wouldn't show. I started making a salad for dinner.

There was a knock on my door. I opened it and stopped short at who stood before me.

It was him.

His beauty hadn't changed. He still had the chiseled cheekbones, the same messy bronze hair and the golden eyes. But these eyes showed love and trepidation. He smiled.

"Bella."

I blinked rapidly, the same way I did when I hallucinated I saw him in my bedroom. I shook my head and looked at him. His smile grew.

"Edward?" I asked in disbelief. He chuckled.

"Yes, Bella. May I come in?" I shook my head again. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to be with you…forever." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you serious? You _left_ me. You broke my heart. I never recovered from it and you made me become a whore!" I spat these words at him.

His golden eyes darkened with sadness. "I'm so sorry, Bella. You have no idea how sorry. I left because I thought it would be best for you. I was trying to protect you, to keep you safe. I had no idea you would turn to this life. You're broken because of me."

I nodded. I was angry, furious. How _dare_ he come back now? Where was he the last four years?

"Not far from you," he said, answering my unasked questions. I looked at him. "I thought you couldn't read my mind?" He sighed. "I can't. Your eyes give you away, though."

I lowered my head. He was right. "May I please come in?" I opened the door. As he stepped past me, I caught his scent. Earthy, musky. I closed my eyes and breathed it in.

"Why the hell are you here?" I asked him. I walked to him in the hallway and looked up into his eyes. They were warm, welcoming. "Why the hell are you here?"

"I've never been far, Bella. After we left you in Forks, I tried to stay away. I needed to protect you. I needed you to live your life without fear of me, of my kind. It was excruciating, the pain of being without you. Nothing mattered anymore. I left the Cullen clan and tried to make it alone. I couldn't stand Rosalie's gloating or Alice's moping. All of us missed you. I couldn't put them through that. I left and went to South America, trailing Victoria. I know that she was following you and that Jacob and his wolf pack took care of her. I am incredibly grateful to him for that."

I narrowed my eyes. "You didn't answer my question. Why are you here?"

His eyes searched mine for a moment before answering. "I am here because I love you. I always have and I always will. Nothing will change that. I can't live without you anymore, Bella. And I've seen what's happened to you; what I have made you become. I am sickened to the core by it and I hope that I can help make it stop." Slowly, and with hesitation, he lifted his left hand and placed it on my cheek. The coolness of his skin felt amazing. I sighed at the touch.

"So warm," he said. I looked into his eyes and saw love. I believed Edward when he said he loved me. But that didn't erase the past. I placed my hand on his chest.

"Edward," I said. "Do you think you can just walk in here and I'll forgive you like nothing's happened?"

His hand remained on my cheek as he spoke. "No. I know my appearance doesn't change anything. I don't expect you to forgive me or even to be civil to me. I shouldn't have left you. I know I broke you. I know that I am responsible for the way you are now. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't need to find satisfaction through these _men._" His jaw set on that last word. He was obviously not happy about my life.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked, removing his hand from my cheek. I held it in my hand. "I want to be with you again, Bella. Like before. I promise I won't leave you again. And…" he trailed off.

I raised my eyebrow. "What?" He shook his head. "Nothing. My own stupid fantasies running wild." I looked at him. "What fantasies?" He looked away. I brought my hand to his cheek. He leaned into my touch. "Edward? What fantasies?"

"It doesn't matter," he said, looking into my eyes. I wanted to press but decided it was best not to.

_Edward. The man who broke my heart came back._ He was dazzling me. Suddenly I was angry. I pushed away from him. He looked at me quizzically.

"Why should I even bother to give you the time of day? After what you did to me? I should kick you out and tell you to never come back."

"Is that what you want?" he asked me. I could tell he was getting angry. I didn't care. "For me to leave you alone so you can continue your life of sleeping with men whom you don't care about? For you to throw your beauty away? To degrade yourself? To have you believe that you aren't any better than a whore?"

"I'm not any better," I said sadly. He took a step towards me. "Yes, you are Bella. You can't understand how much it tears me apart to see you like this. You have never seen yourself clearly. You don't see how beautiful and smart and good you are. I see that. That is why I fell in love with you. And to see you throw all of that away kills me. You are better than that, Bella. You are worth so much more."

My body betrayed me at that moment. The tears slowly started to fall down my cheeks. He paused before brushing them away.

"I can't say I'll forgive you, Edward. But I can say I'm sorry that you had to see me this way. I thought I had grown strength since you left, but obviously not." He continued to stroke my cheek.

"You _are_ strong Bella. Stronger than you'll ever know. If you _do_ give me another chance, I promise to show you how beautiful and strong you are." He stepped back. "I'll go now." He started towards the door. I blinked and followed.

"What?"

He turned to face me. "You need time, Bella. You need time to sort this all out…without interference from me. When you are ready, I'll be here in a human heartbeat." I smiled. Then his words registered.

"You're leaving me again?" His eyes grew wide. "No. I will be nearby. If you have trouble, I will be there. But you can't make any decisions with me here."

"How do you know that?" I asked him and tipped my head to the side. "You don't know me anymore, Edward. You can't read my mind. Maybe it's easier for me to make a decision about myself and my lifestyle with you here."

He took a step towards me. "Bella, I will do whatever you want. Just tell me."

I looked into his golden eyes. They still showed love. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help what escaped my mouth. "Stay." He smiled. I held my hand up. "I am not promising anything. I just want you here. I want to see how my life is with you in it. If it's better without you, then I'll ask you to leave." _I am SUCH a pushover._

He nodded slowly. "Sounds fair." He took my hand and kissed it. "I've missed you so much, Bella." He leaned closer to me, breathing in my scent. "I've missed your scent, your kisses. I've missed how my body reacts when you're near me." He stopped at my ear and whispered in it. "You have _no_ idea how much I want you…in _every_ way." He pulled back and looked at me.

My jaw dropped. He chuckled. He ran the back of his index finger down my jaw line. I closed my eyes. He whispered in my ear again. "If you let me, I will show you how I've changed. I will show you love that you've never known before. I will worship you, as you deserve to be. These other men have never worshipped you; never shown you tenderness. They want to pleasure themselves, not you. I will love you and _make love_ to you. The choice is yours."

I felt a quick breeze and opened my eyes. Edward had moved to the kitchen and was examining my salad. "You should eat, Bella. You need to keep your strength up for what I have planned." He smirked.

I walked to the kitchen in a daze. I didn't know what had happened, but somehow Edward Cullen had managed to dazzle his way back into my life.

********

**A/N:** So Edward's back. Are you ready to find out what happens?

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	11. Lance

I sat at the bar, surveying the guys. Hardly anyone worth talking to. And most of them had women draped all over them. I rolled my eyes. It amazed me that these women, dressed in very little clothing, would have men chasing after them. It didn't hurt, of course, that they were drunk.

I smiled to myself. My draw was that I would put out, with no commitment. I guess that didn't make me any better than them. But I don't flaunt my body and I choose who to go to bed with. I won't have sex if I'm drunk. A friend once told me "pretty girls can do anything, but ugly girls _have_ to do everything." Since I fall into the latter, I guess that's my draw. I'll do just about anything for a power fuck.

I took a sip of my beer, knowing that I wouldn't be here long.

"Hi, Bella," a bubbly voice said behind me. I turned around to see Jessica Stanley.

"Jessica…hi," I said awkwardly. She smiled widely. "What are you doing here?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "Just having a drink. So how are you?" I knew that asking her would keep me occupied until I finished my drink. She didn't disappoint.

"Ever since graduation, I have been _so_ eager to catch up with old friends! I actually came down here to LA for a weekend with my boyfriend, Jeremy." She pointed to a skinny guy with glasses who was on the dance floor.

I smiled. "Cute," I lied. She smiled back. "I know. And he's rich too. His dad is a VP for Microsoft."

My jaw dropped. "Wow, that's great Jess." I took another sip of my beer. She turned and ordered a drink.

"So what about you? Have you finally gotten over Edward Cullen?" Looking into her eyes, I could tell she really didn't care.

"No, not really. But he's back. He came back." Jessica's eyes grew large.

"He's _back_?!" she screeched. I looked at her. "Wait! Are you two…like…together again?" I looked down at my beer.

"I really don't know, Jess. He wants to, but I'm broken. I don't think I can be the woman he fell in love with." _I really need to leave now._

She shrugged. "Bella, if he's back and wants some fun, give it to him. You've been the good girl too long." She got her drink and started towards Jeremy. "I'll see you later, Bella!"

I shook my head. _What was going on with us?_ It had been three days since Edward appeared at my door. He's been over a few times to comfort me, but nothing has happened. When he's there, the hole in my chest is healed. It feels like old times. I am content with him there and am willing to take things slow. I never thought that possible. Since I started fucking for power, I moved fast.

Edward said he knew about the men I was with, but he didn't tell me I had to stop. That was good, because I have no intention to. Just because he's back doesn't mean that I want to be faithful to him. It serves him right for me to come home smelling of a man…a reminder of him leaving me.

A man stopped next to me and ordered a drink. I looked at him. He was tall and slender. He had brown hair and blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. And he was aiming the smile in my direction.

"Hi," he said, extending his hand. "I'm Lance." I shook his hand. "Bella," I said.

"Bella. That's a pretty name; it fits you." He took a sip. "So Bella, how is it that you are in this bar alone?"

"I come here alone all the time," I lied. I had actually never stepped foot in the bar. He smiled at me, knowing I was lying. "Okay," he said. We talked for awhile and I knew he was my conquest for the night.

After finishing my beer, he bought me another one, though I didn't drink it. I had to keep a clear head for what I wanted to do. We continued to talk as though we were lifelong friends. He was a grad student at UCLA and majoring in linguistics. He told me bluntly that he was only looking for a fuck.

I smiled. "So am I," I said. As though that was the magic word, he put our drinks down and led me outside. He held me by the elbow and took me to his car. After pressing me against it, he started kissing my neck.

"We should probably move inside," I said after a minute, looking around. "We don't want to put on a show." He nodded and opened the door to the backseat.

After climbing in, he wasted no time. I had chosen to wear a skirt that night for easier access; I couldn't believe how easy this would be. I straddled him and felt his hard shaft against me. I shivered.

"You like that, baby?" he asked. He continued to kiss my neck. I murmured in response and fumbled in my purse for a condom. He gently shoved me off and pulled his pants down. After placing the condom on, I climbed on top and glided him inside.

His thrusts immediately were fast. _Now THIS is what I like_. I gripped the headrest of the backseat as he thrust into me. We were both breathing heavy and fogging up the windows.

"God, Bella," he said as he thrust faster. I placed a hand on the roof of the car so I didn't hit my head on it. I continued to ride him, trying to ignore the guilty feeling that had started creeping up inside me.

_What the hell?_ I thought as I moved my hands to his neck. _Why am I feeling guilty? I am not cheating on anyone._ My head was clouded with thoughts of pleasure as Lance's thrusts quickened.

Thoughts of pleasure, not actual pleasure. He was rough, pounding too hard and the guilty feeling wouldn't go away. But I didn't stop, couldn't stop. I needed the power. I needed to feel desired.

"Lance…" I said. That was as far as I got before he started convulsing. _Great_, I thought. _This was a waste._

After he stilled, I climbed off of him. He rolled the window down, threw the condom out, and zipped up. He smiled at me.

"Thanks, Bella." I plastered a smile on my face. "Sure thing. Thanks for the fuck." I climbed out the other side.

I had started to walk away when I felt his hand on my elbow. I turned to him. "Hey, I would like to be with you again. Are you game?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, Lance. I was just looking for a fuck." He smiled as though he understood.

"Okay. Well, I hope you have a good life," he said and walked back into the bar.

My jaw dropped. And then I felt sick in the pit of my stomach. I slowly got on my hands and knees, being careful not to scrape them on the ground. I felt like I could hurl, but nothing came up. I focused my eyes on a patch of concrete to steady myself. My head was spinning.

When I felt well enough, I slowly stood up. Then I walked to my car. I got in and sat there for about five minutes before I started it. _This is silly,_ I thought. _I'm perfectly fine. This is probably just because I haven't had anything to eat. Alcohol affects me faster. I'll go home and have some fruit salad before going to bed._

Then I had another thought. _Should I drive? I only had the one beer and left the second one untouched. I should be fine…right?_ I shoved doubt aside and put the car in gear. The sickening feeling returned.

I arrived home about seven minutes later. Sonny, my neighbor's dog, was inside. I chuckled as I unlocked the door and stepped into the blackness.

A light suddenly came on by my couch. I jumped a mile high.

"I'm sorry I startled you," the velvet voice replied. He walked towards me with a smile on his face.

I frowned. "How long have you been here?" He took my hand and kissed it. "Not long," he said. "I remembered you saying you were going to have a drink after work so I figured you wouldn't be home until about now." He looked me up and down, a small smile forming on his beautiful face. "Did you have a good time?"

I nodded. He brought his face to my ear. I wondered if he could smell Lance on me. "What happened to your knees?" he asked. I looked down. They were still red from when I had them on the concrete.

_The truth_. That was best. "I felt sick when I was outside, so I got on my hands and knees to steady myself." His breath was making my pulse race.

He pulled away slightly and looked into my face. His expression showed worry. "Are you okay?" I nodded. "I think it's just hunger. I haven't eaten all day."

He pulled further away and took my hand. "Let me get you something to eat. Then lie down for awhile."

I shook my head. "I can't do that, Edward. You're here. I don't want to waste any time." That was true. I didn't know how long he was going to be here; I _couldn't_ waste time.

He pulled the fruit salad out of the refrigerator and started searching for a bowl. "Bella, I'll be here when you wake up," he said.

"How do I know that?" I asked harshly. He turned and looked at me. Within the blink of an eye he was at my side.

"I am _so_ sorry, Bella," he said, taking my face in his hands. "You have no idea how sorry. You _can_ trust me; I'm here. I won't leave you again. I know I have to gain your trust back. I promise I will; it'll just take time." He kissed my forehead. I looked down and nodded, my face growing warm. He returned to the food.

I realized that the sickening feeling had disappeared as soon as I saw Edward. _Weird_, I thought. _I missed him._

He placed the fruit salad in front of me and smiled. He watched intently as I ate it in silence. Then he took the bowl and placed it in the sink.

"I'll wash it for you later," he said. He took my hand and led me to the bedroom. "If you want, I'll lie with you," he said softly.

I looked at him. "You would?" H nodded. "The decision is yours. If you don't want me to, just tell me. I'll go hunting."

My eyes widened at that thought and I shook my head. He chuckled. "Alright then." He handed me my pajamas. "Go change and I'll be waiting," he said softly, kissing my forehead again.

And he was.

********

**A/N**: Thanks for reading! Please review!


	12. Jeremy

**A/N**: Warning. There is unflattering language used in this chapter.

********

The next day I was running errands and bumped into Jessica's boyfriend Jeremy. He really was cuter up close.

"Oh, excuse me," I said. He smiled. "I'm so sorry, Jeremy."

He waved his hand. "Not a problem. I should have been watching where I was going." He smoothed his hair. "So how do you know Jessica?" he asked, eyeing me.

I smiled. "We were in high school together." He nodded. His eyes drifted down and rested on my breasts. I shifted uncomfortably. I had a tank top on but it wasn't too low. It only revealed a small portion of cleavage.

I cleared my throat. His eyes snapped up to my head. "Yeah, my eyes are up here," I said sarcastically. He blushed. He _actually_ blushed.

"I'm sorry, Isabella. I didn't get a good look at you last night. You're quite pretty when not under bar lights." I laughed. "Thank you."

I could tell he was a player. He wouldn't be with Jessica for long. I suddenly felt my urge for power. I leaned closer to him. "I could show you _how_ pretty I am if you let me."

His eyes grew wide. I worried for a moment that I had overstepped my bounds. I stepped back and started to turn away.

"Wait," he said. "Don't run off. Your suggestion caught me off-guard. I've never know a woman to be so bold." He pulled me into an alley so we were out of the public eye. "I bet you can show a guy a good time, huh?"

I inched closer to him. _What do I care if he's Jessica's? She was never really my friend. She was always jealous of me. Serves her right._ I batted my eyelashes. "I can, but only if the guy is interested."

He licked his lips. "Oh, I'm interested." I smiled. _Why aren't they all this easy?_ "What about Jessica?" I wanted him to be totally aware of what was going on.

He let out a breath. "I don't think we have to include her in this. Let's face it; Jessica is very high-maintenance. She demands a lot. Well, I'm sick of it. You seem to be very confident."

_Boy, has HE got the wrong impression!_ "In this instance, yes." It was not a lie. I knew I had the power when I had their attention. I smiled. "So, when do you want to do this?"

He leaned close to me and whispered in my ear. "Now works for me. I have to meet Jess in an hour so I don't have much time."

"Where?"

"Here works for me." With that, he pushed me up against the wall. He leaned towards the direction of my lips.

I shook my head and moved out of the way. "I don't kiss on the mouth." He smiled. "Good. I hate doing that. Jessica is _so_ messy." He brought his hand up and cupped my breast. I moaned.

"Quit talking about Jessica," I said. He lifted my shirt up to my shoulders and wormed his hands under my bra. His touch was rough as he squeezed my nipples. It hurt…a lot. I groaned.

"Yeah, you like that, huh?" I started to say no when he let go. I changed my mind; I didn't want this anymore. I tried pushing him off.

"I'm sorry, Jeremy. I-I can't…" He slammed my head into the wall behind me.

"Can't what? You can't be a tease? Yeah, I would say so. You can't say 'yes' and then change your mind. It doesn't work that way, Isabella." He yanked on my yoga pants and pulled them down roughly.

"I can do what I—" I was silenced by his hand on my mouth. The look in his eyes was not lust, it was power. Suddenly, the power I craved had transferred to him.

I started trembling. I knew this wouldn't end well. I bit his finger. He yelled and hit me.

"You'll pay for that, bitch," he said roughly. He pressed me against the wall harder and slammed my head against the brick again. I was growing dizzy and probably had a concussion.

I could feel him against me. I knew it wouldn't be long. I continued to struggle against his weight, impossible though it may be. I didn't think he was so strong, as skinny as he was.

"The more you struggle, the more fun it is for me," he whispered roughly against my ear.

"Please," I whispered. I felt into my purse and pulled out the condom. "If you're going to do this, please use a condom." He smiled.

"That's thinking. Don't want to pick up anything from a whore like you." He didn't move away at all, but I could hear the wrapper being taken off. After a moment, I felt something cold at my tip. I shuddered.

"I knew you'd like it," he breathed. I made a face.

"I'm not enjoying this, you dick," I said. He scowled and thrust into me roughly.

_I can't believe this,_ I thought. _How did I lose control?_ He started pumping fast, banging me against the wall. I tried to yell out but he clamped his hand over mine. I could feel my face turning red from where he'd slapped me.

"If you wouldn't be such a slut, maybe you wouldn't end up in this situation," he said. His thrusts increased. The only thing I could do was wait it out. The sickening feeling in my stomach returned, guilt flowing through me.

He shuddered and fell towards me. I made no movement. He smiled at me and pulled away.

"Thanks, babe," he snickered. He pulled his pants up. I slowly bent over and retrieved mine. He turned and walked away without a word.

I slid down to the ground and wept. I couldn't believe what happened. The one thing I was happy about was that he agreed to the condom.

_I'm done,_ I thought. _I can't do this anymore. What did this 'power' get me? Raped._

I sat there for hours until the sun started going down. Then I slowly got to my feet and started walking home. I knew I probably looked horrible; I needed to shower and lie down.

_I will change. I will no longer use men for power. Edward's back; he wouldn't like it anyways._ I was feeling guilty over my escapades with him back in my life. I didn't understand why; I made no commitment to him. He left me. He shouldn't have come back.

But he did. He came back because he loves me. And the guilt occurred because I love him. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was still in love with Edward Cullen. I knew why he left, to protect me. I understood. But I never understood him loving me. Yet, that didn't stop him from doing just that. He loved me unconditionally; even though he knew what I was. His love still didn't falter.

"If you let me, I'll show you love like you've never known." He said that to me once. Jeremy sure as hell didn't love me, didn't respect me. The other guys didn't love me either. I was just convenient. I was there to be used, even by Jacob. I was a whore.

I had made it home and stepped into the shower. I let the hot water sting my skin as I scrubbed the dirt of all the men off of me. Jeremy couldn't be blamed; I had asked for this. It was only a matter of time before my lifestyle caught up with me. Chris had alluded to that.

I pressed my forehead to the cold tile and shut my eyes. I wept again, this time for what I had become. _I had blamed Edward for my lifestyle; it's not his fault. I had made this decision on my own. I could have decided to just move on with my life and not look for revenge. He has to know that this is not his fault. He has to know that I love him._

I shut the shower off and reached for a towel. When I was dry, I walked into my bedroom and climbed into bed. I was too tired and ashamed to put my pajamas on; I just wanted to feel the softness of the sheets against my skin. I held onto the pillow and sleep came quickly.

Just as I was dozing, I felt an arm wrap around me. It was cool, even on top of the sheet. I rolled to him and pressed my face into his chest. I held onto him with every ounce of strength I had.

As if sensing my guilt, he started stroking my hair and shushing me. "It's okay, love. I'm here. I promise I'll never leave you again. You don't have to feel guilty anymore."

I wanted to argue, wanted to tell him not to waste his time with me. I was a whore; why would he want me? Edward had always been so old-fashioned; what would he do with a woman who was impure? I'm sure that was one of the reasons he fell in love with me. I was so sweet and innocent; a complete change from what I am now.

Even though he couldn't read my mind, it felt like he knew what I was thinking. He held me tighter. "I love you, Bella. Always." He pressed his lips to the top of my head. I fell into a content slumber where Edward was always at my side.

*********

**A/N**: Honestly, that was not direction that this chapter was going. But I think it was critical in Bella realizing her feelings. And after the trauma she just went through, only Edward can show her what it means to be loved. And show her, he will. ;)

Thanks for reading! Please review. And some Edward loving will be coming up next chapter.


	13. Edward Again

I didn't sleep much last night. Even in Edward's embrace, I continued to toss and turn. I woke up screaming from a few nightmares as well. Edward was worried, but I couldn't tell him just then. How do you tell the man who loves you that you were looking for a lay and got raped instead? How do you tell that to a possessive vampire?

After one of my nightmares, I had had it. Edward had been humming my lullaby and stroking my hair gently. I realized that my head was lying on his chest, where his heart lay. Although it wasn't beating, I could feel the love coming from it.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?" He continued stroking my hair. I looked up at him, into his golden eyes. They were warm and loving.

"I'm ready to tell you." He nodded. I sucked in a breath. "You know about my lifestyle, right? That I sleep with men for power?"

His hand stilled on my back. For a moment I panicked that he didn't know and just found out that I wasn't pure. He continued to gaze into my eyes.

"Yes, Bella. I know about all the men." His voice was the same, no change. It was as though he understood. The stroking of my hair continued.

"Well, something happened last night that I didn't plan for…something bad." His golden eyes darkened. "What?" he asked cautiously.

"I told one of the men 'no' and he didn't listen." His hand stopped. His eyes turned black, rage evident in his eyes. I sat up and moved back to give him room.

When he spoke, his voice was low. "Raped?" I nodded slowly. He sat up in the blink of an eye and started grabbing some of my things. I looked at him curiously.

"I'm taking you to the hospital, Bella. You need to get checked out," he said. His voice was quivering; he was trying to remain in control. He looked over at me. I shook my head. "Why not?" he growled.

I swallowed. "Because he wore a condom," I said, realizing why he was so happy to do so. _Now there's no evidence._ Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "Unbelievable." He stayed like that for a few minutes.

I was scared of Edward. Not in the predator-prey sense, but in the sense that he could kill without thinking. I knew he'd want to rip Jeremy to shreds. And I knew that wasn't justice.

"Edward," I said quietly. "Don't." He looked at me.

"Don't what? Don't care about you? Don't find the jackass who hurt you and make him pay? Do nothing?" His voice rose with each question.

I just continued to look into his black eyes. It calmed him a bit. He came back and sat by me on the bed. "I'm sorry, love. I should be more concerned with you than with revenge. He _will_ pay, I guarantee it. But not now. Not when you're hurting." He pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around me securely. "I'm _so_ sorry Bella. If I had never left, this wouldn't have happened. You were raped because of me."

I shook my head against him. "It's not your fault, Edward." I pulled away from his embrace to look at him. "Please, listen to me. You left to protect me. I _know_ that. I know you left because you loved me. That was your choice; you have _no_ right to feel guilty about it. I became an unpaid whore; that was my choice. You have _no_ right to feel guilty about that either. That was _my_ decision and my decision alone."

He shook his head. "If I hadn't left, you wouldn't have felt the need to be with these other men." Those last words were laced with venom. I sighed.

"Edward, if I had been dating someone else and he broke up with me, who is to say I wouldn't have done the same thing? Who is to say that I wouldn't have been broken? I could have easily just moved on when you left. I could have just let the pain run its course and then fallen in love with someone else."

He winced. It was the truth, he knew it, but it still hurt him to think of me moving on. I took his cold hand and started stroking it. He gave me a small smile. "I am done with that lifestyle. What did it get me? Temporary satisfaction; nothing meaningful. I have nothing to show for what happened; nothing but the memory of last night."

His eyes, which had started to melt back to gold, turned black again. I took in a deep breath. _Here it goes_, I thought. "I want to try being with you Edward…if you'll have me. But I understand if you won't. I may be too impure and damaged for you. That is fine. But I wanted you to know."

He placed his other hand on top of mine. The blackness melted away. "How can you say that? Of _course_ I want you, regardless of how many men you've been with. I came back knowing your track record. That doesn't bother me. I love you, Bella." I smiled and moved a little closer. The gold was back. He continued.

"If anything, I'm worried you won't want _me_. I'm inexperienced. You know what satisfies you; what if I can't? What if I disappoint you?"

I stroked his cheek. "You won't, Edward. You've always been sweet and gentle with me. I know you will be in bed as well." His eyes closed and he leaned into my touch.

"But it's still dangerous. I could still hurt you. I'm not backing down, I'm just warning you. Maybe it would be best if I stay inexperienced…you can continue to sleep with men who won't kill you."

I glared at him. "Edward, did I not just say you've always been gentle? You will be fine; _I'll_ be fine. I don't want anyone else." He gave me a small smile.

"If you say so, love." He released my hand and stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked him. He looked at me quizzically. "I figured you would want to get dressed for the day. I was going to give you privacy."

I shook my head. "Edward, I just confessed to wanting you and you're just going to leave me hanging?" His mouth dropped. Then he recovered. "I told you, Bella. I don't know what I'm doing."

I took his hand and pulled him back to the bed. He sat down. "I'll teach you," I said. I moved so I straddled him. His breathing hitched and I felt his hands at my hips. His eyes were still golden.

"We'll do whatever you're comfortable with. It's okay with me, Edward. I want _you_. I love you."

As soon as the words left my mouth, his lips were on them. My body remembered how his kisses made me feel. The electricity shot through me. I brought my hands behind his neck and tilted my head, deepening the kiss.

He growled and pulled me closer. This surprised me. In the past, he would use that as his key to stop. But he didn't. I felt his hands move, one to the nape of my neck, the other to my right breast. He cupped it gently. I whimpered.

"I'm sorry," he said, pulling away. I pulled him back to me. "That was good, silly." He smiled and kissed me again. This one was more forceful.

My hands found their way into his hair while he continued to gently massage my breast. The electricity multiplied and I wanted to feel him…all of him.

But I didn't know how he'd react to that. I'd let him call the shots. As if a clue, he gently turned me so I was lying on the bed. He straddled me now. I felt him pressed against me; he was hard. He pulled away to remove his shirt and returned his lips to mine.

My hands roamed his chest. His growling intensified, but I knew there was nothing to fear. His cool skin felt good against the palm of my hand.

"Edward," I gasped in between breaths. He chuckled, never leaving my lips. "Remove my shirt." The gold of his eyes melted with lust.

It was off in a second, shredded into pieces. _Glad I didn't really care about that anyways_, I thought. Now my bare chest was exposed to him, as his was to mine. He sat up and stared my naked form, not saying a word. I started to get self-conscious.

_I know he said that he's inexperienced, but maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I'm not big enough. I'm sure he's seen women's breasts through other people's minds; maybe a certain size appeals to him. Maybe I need implants. God, why doesn't he say anything?!_

He finally spoke. "I have never seen anything more beautiful." The look in his eyes told me he meant every word. "You are perfect, love. Better than anything I've imagined." He gingerly reached out and cupped my bare breast. I moaned.

"You've imagined me?" I asked when I regained comprehension. His cool touch was igniting every nerve ending in my body. The electricity was like dynamite; I didn't know how much more I could take until an explosion. I didn't want him to stop.

He nodded and pinched my nipple. "All the time. I've thought about the first time we made love; how that would be. Course, in my mind I do everything right and don't hurt you." He smiled, but didn't remove his hand. He cupped it a little harder. It felt fabulous. "These last four years have been torture, Bella."

I closed my eyes and reveled in the sensation. Suddenly his other hand made contact, the pleasure lifting me off the bed. I moaned loudly. "Edward," I said. "What you are doing to me feels fantastic. Your cool touch is amazing; my nipples are rock hard."

Like a child who wants to experiment, he brought his mouth to them. I cried out against the amazing sensation. I felt his tongue graze against the one, then the other. Then he circled the nipple with his tongue. My hands found his way into his hair.

"So beautiful," he mumbled. He moved to the other nipple. I was writhing under him, blown away by the sensation. No one had ever done this to me before; no one put my pleasure first. Yes, I got off, but not through lack of trying. I always had to do the work. Not now. Now I was putty under his hands.

"Bella," he said hoarsely. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He pulled back, his eyes black. "I'm sorry, I have to stop. My control is running out; if I keep going, I'm likely to make love to you right now."

I stroked his chest. "That wouldn't be bad." He smiled and gently kissed my lips, working his way up my jaw line to my ear. "I want our first time to be special. I want to savor moment, enjoy every moan, take pride in every writhe of pleasure I give you. And I want you to do the same to me."

I moved to sit up and he moved with me. He smiled. "Hey, I'm a virgin. Give me a break." I laughed. "You're doing fine. And see, you didn't hurt me. Everything will be okay."

He reached for his shirt. "Fondling your breasts is one thing, Bella. Being inside you is something else. If given time to 'explore,' I'm sure my control will improve. I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did." He moved off the bed quickly.

I sat up and pulled my shirt over my head. "I was going to try and sleep more. Do you want to join me?" He shook his head. "I'm not completely under control. I need to hunt before doing anything else."

"You're hungry?" I asked incredulously. _Just like a man_.

"No. But hunting will distract me. It will take my mind off of what I want most." His black eyes were full of lust.

I gulped. He continued. "I do want you. Very much. But as I said, I'm unsure what I'm doing. This may take awhile…until I know that I can be safe for you."

I nodded. "As much as you need." He smiled and moved to the window. "Sleep, my Bella. I'll be here when you get back."

I laid back on the bed, amazed at what just happened. I was sure Edward would pull through on his promise. Soon we would be complete in every way. We would be one.

********

**A/N**: So it's probably not what you wanted, but it's a start. Edward is still dealing with control issues; but don't worry, he'll loosen up!

And I haven't forgotten about Alex. The truth about him will come out.

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	14. Bella & Edward

It's been a week since Edward and I first experimented. His control has improved since then. He has managed to get me off through his touch alone, something I never thought possible. He seems content in pleasing _me_, even when I try to reciprocate. He gently tells me no and continues to torture me with his cool touch…but not tonight.

Tonight is the night that I give him what he's given me…pleasure through love. He doesn't know it yet, but I plan on taking a part of his virginity; orally at least. I'm positive we will make love before the end of the month, but for now I just want to share other pleasures. I never thought I would feel that way. I've always been the "get in, get laid, get out" type of girl. I would usually just suck a guy off until it benefited me and then we would get right to business. It was a power trip.

With Edward, I feel powerless. _He_ is the one in control. He is the one who makes decisions on what he wants to do and I melt in response. I _never_ imagined it could be that way; never thought that I could be intimate with anyone…especially not him after leaving me. But it's as if we were never separated. The love we shared four years ago has intensified and we want to please each other in every way. It's as if I never changed; never hated him for leaving me. It's only been a week, but the memory of my past has faded. Edward makes it so easy to forget…except when he's feeling guilty.

I think that's one reason why he's been so attentive to my needs; he still feels like my lifestyle was his fault. It doesn't matter that I've told him over a hundred times already that he was not responsible for _my_ actions and he keeps saying "if I had never left, you would never have had to make a decision, either way." I tried again bringing up that I could have been dating someone else and he hurts me and would have made that decision. Yeah, that doesn't help either. He hates thinking of me with someone else.

So now I just let him get the guilt over with. I think only time will heal the wounds. We may be happy, but there are trust issues that we are working on. I do wonder everyday when I go to work if he will be there when I get home. And he always is. I don't know what he does with himself all day; it's not like he can go outside (it is LA). I think he tortures Sonny, my neighbor's dog, from afar.

I love him. So much. These four years have only increased my love and desire for him. And tonight he will know that…

If I can ever get out of work!

I have been stuck in a meeting since three. It is now six. We had an emergency meeting discussing our security; apparently there has been someone snooping around at night. We don't have solid confirmation but the evidence is building. My office hasn't been tampered with, but my boss's has been. So now everyone has to voice their opinions on how to proceed. I know I should be listening, but when you have a beautiful angel at home waiting for you, you tend to let your mind wander.

After another twenty minutes, we were released. I never flew out of that office so fast!

I broke every speed law getting home; luckily no cops were around. When I got home, Edward was waiting for me. As soon as I stepped inside, he enveloped me in his arms. He brought his nose to the top of my head and inhaled deeply. Then he sighed.

"I know, you only love me for my scent," I teased. He smiled and kissed me. "Not even close," he said against my lips. I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss by snaking my tongue into his mouth. I heard his breath hitch but he didn't pull away. In fact, he pulled me closer to him. I could feel his chiseled chest against mine; his strong arms tighten around my waist and his lips pressing firmly against mine.

I didn't want to pull back, but I had to breathe. When I did, he pressed his lips against my forehead. "I've missed you so much," he said. I smiled at him. "Me too. And I have plans for tonight."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh?" I kissed him again. "It's a surprise." He chuckled and pulled away. "Okay," he said. He moved to the refrigerator. "Let's get you something to eat."

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry." He opened the door and pulled out a block of cheese. My stomach growled. He looked over at me. I blushed. _Of course he would hear that_. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. Then he handed me some cheese. I nibbled on it while watching him putting things away.

"You're a natural in the kitchen," I said. He turned to look at me, question marks in his eyes. "You seem to know perfectly where everything goes and what to do."

He smiled. "Well, I spend all of the day here while you're at work. I have a lot of time on my hands. And the Food Network helps me learn what to cook." He came over and wrapped his arms around me. "That is, of course, when I'm not torturing Sonny."

I laughed and placed a hand on his chest. "I knew you would be harassing him." He smiled his crooked smile and his golden eyes sparkled. "He is _so_ annoying and I have to get my kicks somehow." I laughed again and laid my head against his chest. He held me, content.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too, Bella." He kissed the top of my head. I pulled away. "It's time for the surprise," I said, taking his cool hand and leading him to the bedroom. He stood in the doorway, wondering what I was doing. I kissed him passionately.

He returned the kiss and his hands found their way to my hips. I turned my head a bit and deepened the kiss while running my fingers through his hair. He growled low in his chest. I nipped on his lower lip.

His grip on my hips intensified and he pulled me closer to him. I pulled my mouth away because I had to breathe and started trailing kisses up and down his collarbone. I heard his breathing grow heavy as my lips made contact with his cool skin.

"Bella, that feels amazing." His voice was ragged. His left hand started stroking my hair. I started unbuttoning his shirt and placed kisses up and down his chest.

He let go of me to let his shirt fall. Then he led me to the bed. He tried to get me to lie down first, but I refused. "The surprise is you. I'm taking care of you tonight." His golden eyes grew wide. "Bella…are you sure?"

I nodded. "You have been fantastic this past week, but every time I try to please you, you shove me off," I said.

"That's because I _want_ to please you." He started moving away.

"And I want to please you." I placed my hand on his chest and he stopped. He looked into my eyes as though he was searching for something. As if finding it, he nodded.

"Okay," he whispered. He sat down on the bed. I could tell he was nervous. "Don't be nervous, Edward. I'll only do what _you_ are comfortable with."

I pushed him back on the bed and started trailing kisses down his chest. "You will be fine. Just enjoy, please." He sighed.

I ran my tongue down his chest slowly, leaving a wet trail on his marble skin. He moaned softly. I then moved to his nipples and slowly started licking and sucking on them. I heard his breathing grow heavy then and his hand moved to my head.

"Amazing," he sputtered. I glanced up at him and smiled. Then I moved to his other nipple and did the same thing. I concentrated on his upper body for awhile, getting him familiar with the sensations. His breathing was uneven and he was moaning uncontrollably now.

I gently moved my hand down to his belt and silently asked for permission to remove it. He nodded and I slowly slid it out of the loops and undid the button of his jeans. Without asking, he lifted up and I pulled them off. I smiled when I saw the huge bulge in his boxers.

He ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes as his breathing returned to normal. I crawled to his face and kissed him again. "How are you doing?" I asked him. In response, he opened his eyes; they were a light gold.

Keeping eye contact with him, I slowly slid my hand inside his boxers. I gently touched the tip of his manhood and he hissed loudly, throwing his head back. I then rubbed my thumb over is tip while I gently gripped his shaft. He snarled.

"B-Bella," he gasped. I stopped, worrying it was too much and looked into his eyes. They had turned black, but not with hunger. "Your touch is mind-blowing. My skin feels ten degrees warmer." He looked down and saw that I rested my hand on his stomach. "Would you think me a complete pig if I asked you to continue?"

I smiled. "I was hoping you would say that." He closed his eyes again. I gently tugged on his boxers and was given permission to remove them. I then looked at my angel, completely naked in front of me.

_Here I thought he could never be more beautiful. I was wrong._ Like he did with me, I stared at his form. He opened his eyes, feeling self-conscious.

"You're perfect," I told him. He smiled. I gently wrapped my hand around his shaft and slowly started stroking it. He growled and gripped my sheet. My movements quickened and I pressed my lips to him.

"I love you," I told him. Then I placed his tip in my mouth. He snarled and snapped his jaw and his hand was on my head.

"Stop," he said. I looked up at him, eyes black with lust. "That completely caught me off-guard Bella. I almost came." I continued to stroke his shaft until he was under control. I slowly lowered my mouth onto his manhood. He hissed but didn't move. I started circling him in my mouth while running my hand up and down his manhood. It's natural for a vampire to lie like stone, but he was far from that now. He was writhing, gently bucking his hips towards me and pushing himself deeper into my mouth.

He was huge. Bigger than anyone I've ever been with. I was a little worried how he would fit inside me and then shoved that thought aside. _Let him see how much you love him_. I withdrew most of him from my mouth and sucked on his tip, running my finger up and down his length.

His hand gently stroked my hair and he started convulsing. I braced myself for the horrid taste that was next. Instead, I got assaulted with honey and cream as he came, long and hard. As I raised my eyes up to look at the man I had just finished, a memory flashed in my mind. In it, I focused on his adorable belly button, then his six-pack abs and chiseled chest, how beautiful and toned it was. My eyes roamed upward and I saw the firm jaw line, the chiseled cheekbones and the purplish, bruised-looking shadows under his eyes. I saw his bronze-colored hair in disarray even more than usual. He was trying to control his breathing and his eyes were closed. He looked content; happy…like an angel.

My eyes widen as I lapped up all of him. _I had this dream. I dreamt of doing this when sleeping in my hammock. It was a premonition._ Edward Cullen was lying in front of me, his bronze-colored hair in disarray as he tried to control his breathing. His eyes were closed and he looked happy.

_Holy shit!_

I gently released him and moved to his face, eager for his reaction. His eyes slowly opened, gold seeping from them. He looked into mine. "Bella, that was fantastic. I can't believe how amazing that felt." He pulled my mouth to his.

Our tongues intermingled for awhile and I ran my hand over his chest. He growled lowly. I took the opportunity to pleasure him again. He lasted longer this time and once more I tasted honey and cream when I finished him.

"Why does your cum taste like honey and cream?" I asked him later in the evening as he was holding me. "It's not cum, Bella. It's venom."

I raised my head to look at him. "Really? Why does it taste like that?" He shrugged. "They're natural flavors. You've commented that I smell Earthy; the venom has that taste as well I suppose."

"You've never tasted it?" He wrapped his arm around me tighter. "No. When the venom flows through my mouth, it's stinging. It's deadly; it wants to strike. There is no taste then." He kissed the top of my head. "I'm glad to know that you enjoyed swallowing."

I laughed. "I wish all cum tasted like yours." I immediately regretted saying that. I looked up at him again. "I'm sorry."

He stroked my cheek. "For what? You paid me a compliment. I'm happy to know that I can please you that way."

I started to say something but yawned instead. He chuckled. "Go to sleep, Bella. Tomorrow is the weekend. We have all day to try new things."

I never had better dreams in my life than I did that night.

********

**A/N**: I hope you all liked that.

The next chapter will take a break from Bella's "sexcapdes" with Edward. It will explain what happened with Alex… and what happens when Jacob reappears?

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	15. Alex & Jacob

The sun shone brightly through my window the next morning; so brightly that it woke me up. I grumbled and rolled over to look at the clock. 10:15.

"Ugh!" I said and sat up. Edward sat up with me. "What is it, love?"

I'd forgotten he was still here. I turned to him and kissed his lips gently. "Nothing. I just hate that it's already after ten."

"I wasn't expecting you up before noon," he said, rubbing my back. "In fact, if you want to sleep longer, that is fine with me." I yawned in answer. He laughed and pulled me back down.

I laid my head on his chest and he stroked my hair. We were silent for awhile.

"Edward?" I asked quietly. "Yes, Bella?"

"Do you know what happened with Alex?" I didn't want to believe that he hurt Alex, but a part of me had to know.

His breathing didn't change. "Yes, I do know." I looked at him. "Did you hurt him?"

He shook his head. Immediately I felt bad for ever doubting him. "I believe you."

Edward smiled. "I was there, though. When he referred to a 'devil with flaming red hair and black eyes,' that was me."

My hand rose to his cheek and I started stroking it. He leaned into my touch. "What happened?"

"I was at your workplace the day Megan came in and blew up at him. I had been hiding in the garage so I could see you, see if you left with anyone." He looked ashamed. I smiled and moved my hand to stroke his lips. He kissed my fingers.

"Go on," I encouraged him.

"I heard your name in her thoughts. She knew that you had been involved with Alex. I quickly started scanning his thoughts. He had been hoping to divorce Megan so he could be with you. He apparently was delusional and thought more about your night together than you did."

I felt my face burn. _This is so embarrassing. Edward knows all about my past. He has to be disgusted with me_. He continued to stroke my hair. "I followed him home that night, knowing that Megan was planning something. Their fight escalated and she threw the bookcase on him."

"How could she move it?" I asked.

"She had rigged it ahead of time. I went back to their house later and saw where the bookcase had been tampered with. Reading her thoughts, she had planned for the bookcase to fall and crush him. He would lie there for awhile and choke on his own blood. She didn't think that a vampire would interfere." He smiled a little.

I smiled too. "He saw me as I lifted the bookcase off of him. He was confused; thinking that I had thrown it on him instead of pulling it off. He passed out in my arms and I got him to the hospital."

I stilled my hand on his chest. "He said you had black eyes." Edward nodded. "There was blood; when he fell he hit his head on the corner of the coffee table. I wasn't thirsty; far from it. But just smelling it will cause the venom to flow and my eyes to change. So yes, I probably did look like the devil." He looked deeply into my eyes. "I'm telling the truth, Bella. I didn't hurt him."

I nodded. "I believe you. You saved him." My mind wandered for a moment. "What about Megan? What can we do to prove premeditated intent?"

He sighed. "I'm not sure. I can't very well say 'while I was spying on these two people, she threw a bookshelf on her husband. Later, I broke into their house to see how it was rigged.' That won't work."

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. She'll screw up eventually." He nodded. Then he leaned forward and kissed me.

"Do you mind if I hunt today?" I shook my head no and he got up. He dressed quickly and turned to me. "I'll only be gone a few hours. If you need me, call. I'll be here fast."

I smiled. "I know. Have a good hunt." He stopped at the window and turned to look at me. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, too."

Then he was gone. I took his absence as a chance to get some housework done. I quickly dusted and vacuumed the few rooms that I lived in. When I finished that, there was a knock at my door.

I was surprised when I saw who was on the other side. "Jacob?" I asked. He smiled.

"Hi, Bells." He looked me over. I looked down and realized that I had dust all over me and a black smudge on my cheek. I blushed. _I really need a shower_.

"What do you want, Jake?" I asked. He looked at me for another moment before he spoke.

"We were supposed to get together today. I take it you forgot?"

_What is he talking about?_ Then it hit me. I had scheduled another sex session with him. This was, of course, before Edward came back.

"Yeah, Jacob, I did. I'm sorry." He shrugged. "No biggie. We can do it another time." He looked me over again. "Course, you're already dirty. I would just add to it."

I shook my head. "There's something you need to know," I said, stepping aside to let him in. His nose wrinkled when he entered. _He smells Edward_.

"What's that smell?"

I sighed and looked at him. "It's Edward's smell. He's back." Jacob's eyes grew wide. Then they darkened. "The bloodsucker came back? For what?"

"He wants to make amends." He scoffed. He began pacing the room. I couldn't understand his reaction. I know he hated Edward, but why was he acting this way?

"So I take it your fucking him now?" His words were cold. I narrowed my eyes. "That's none of your business."

He chuckled. "Touchy. That means yes." He stood in front of me, so close that I could feel the hairs on his arm. "So where is he now?"

I tried to move away, but was pinned against the wall. "Out hunting." He smiled. He ran his hand up my arm slowly. He glanced into my eyes. They were on fire. I gulped. _I don't want this. I'm done. Why can't he understand that?_

"Well, if he's out, how about we have some fun?" There was a leer in his voice. I drew in my breath sharply. "Jacob, I've given that up. I have decided to give it another go with Edward."

He growled. Jacob actually growled. "The leech comes back and you immediately return to him? That's sick, Bella." His hand stopped stroking my arm. Instead, he gripped it. Hard.

"Jake, you're hurting me," I said. "I've always been second fiddle to him. You dated him in Forks and I stood back and watched. Then I stitched you up after he left you and you never got over him. I continued to be your friend and you _still_ never gave me a chance. And now we actually sleep together and you still turn me down for him. It's not right, Bella."

His grip tightened. "Jake, your grip is too tight. You're _really_ hurting me." He moved closer; his chest was pressed against mine. I suddenly feared a repeat of Jeremy. He whispered in my ear. "I want to show you that I'm better than him. That I always will be. I'll never hurt you, Bella."

"And yet, you are now," a voice said behind him. His grip loosened a bit and he turned around. Edward was standing there, his eyes black with rage.

"Edward," Jacob spat.

"Take your hand off her now, dog, and I'll let you keep it." Edward moved closer to him. Jacob let go of me and got in Edward's face.

"Why couldn't you stay away, leech? Haven't you hurt her enough? Will you not be satisfied until you've destroyed her inside and out?"

Edward's hands balled into fists. He was trying to keep his temper. I knew he didn't want to hurt Jake in my presence.

"Jake stop," I said, getting into the middle of them. Jacob's black eyes lightened a bit. Edward's breathing was shallow. "I have given up my lifestyle. The only one I want to be with now is Edward. Please try and understand. We are going to work things out. I still want to be friends. Please, Jacob."

He backed away. He was shaking; I could tell he was trying to not phase. Edward gently placed a hand on my shoulder. Jacob saw it. He smiled smugly.

"Jacob, get out now," Edward said. I looked at him. "He's trying to figure out if we've actually slept together."

"Get out of my head, you filthy bloodsucker." Jacob walked to the door. "And from your actions, I can tell you've not." He looked at me. "I guess I was wrong, Bella. There is one thing that I have over him." He looked over my shoulder and into his eyes. "I've had you…underneath me…writhing in pleasure…screaming my name."

My eyes grew wide. "Get out now." I felt Edward's hand tighten on my shoulder. Jacob chuckled. "I'll see you around, Bella." He left. I slammed the door behind him and slowly turned to face Edward.

"Edward…" I started.

"It's okay, Bella. I know he was trying to get a rise out of me." He came to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I know you've been with him." He kissed my forehead. "Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe furthering our relationship is not the best thing."

I looked into his eyes, they were gold again. "Don't let him get to you. It doesn't matter that I slept with him. I don't want Jacob; I only want you."

He smiled. "I know. But how can I compete with that? Jacob is warm and human. I'm cold and a killer." I shook my head. "I love _you_ Edward. I've never loved him. That will make our first time together that much more special."

He nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry for doubting." He kissed my lips gently. "I have an idea. Let's spend the rest of the day watching movies and vegging on the couch."

"That's a great idea. I'll go change into my pajamas." I untangled myself from him and started walking to the bedroom.

"I'll order you a pizza," he said, pulling out his cell phone.

After changing, we sat down to watch _The Notebook_. Two hours and one small pizza later, I convinced him to watch _Halloween_.

"I'm only doing it because I love you," he said. "I hate that movie." I put the disc in and it started playing. I wrapped my arms around him and he lay back on the couch. Our legs intertwined.

"Michael Myers doesn't scare me; I've got my own protection. You could easily take him." He laughed and stroked my hair.

"Yeah, a vampire guardian angel. _There's_ a stretch."

I kissed his cool lips softly. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you too." He brought his nose to my head and breathed deeply. "For just your scent," he said, grinning.

I shoved him gently and he started tickling me. I tried to move and fell onto the floor, pulling him with me. We lay like that for awhile, laughing and trying to tickle each other. Course, I had the disadvantage. I looked into his eyes and felt the electricity hum. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me deeply.

My hands found their way into his hair and our legs intertwined again. He kept his hands at my hips but moaned gently at my touch. His tongue found mine and we just enjoyed the sensations coursing through us. In that moment I realized that we would not be making love soon; we would be joining as one. We were half of one soul and when together, we were whole. That's why it was so hard for us when he left; why I never got over him. He was the other half of me.

Without him, I am nothing.

********

**A/N**: Have you noticed that none of the guys have bothered to please Bella? Can you guess the one man who will show her what she's been missing? Hint: he sparkles.

Any idea what handcuffs, whipped cream, vibrators and a vampire have in common? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading! If you enjoy my work, check out my other stories. Please review!


	16. Edward & Bella

We didn't think anymore about what Jacob said. I knew he was jealous and just trying to get a rise out of Edward. In retaliation, Edward's control improved. We have been able to play with each other more than before.

His touch is amazing! When his cool fingers run over my body I feel like I'm going to explode. His confidence is quickly growing too; he's more open to try things. He hasn't tasted me yet, but his hands have been there. And I must say…oh…my…God. The first time he touched my folds, my eyes rolled back in my head. I moaned loudly and he took that as a cue to continue. He got me off three times just by his touch that day. He was so pleased.

I was surprised at his control. In the past we would never get that far. He would always pull away. Even the first time he fondled my breasts he had to stop; his control was waning. Now he doesn't even think twice. I am confident that he will be fine when we are one.

One of the amazing things about him is that he wants to pleasure _me_. No other guy has done that. Yes, I've gotten off, but I've always done the work. None of them have ever volunteered to fondle my breasts or please me in other ways. Edward is the only one.

Right now, he was quickly driving me to the brink. His cold tongue dipped into my navel and his hands roamed up and down my legs.

"Edward," I moaned. My fingers wound into his hair. He glanced up at me and grinned.

"Close your eyes," he said. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Close your eyes," he repeated.

I closed them quickly, wondering what he was up to. When nothing happened, I figured he was done and trying to get me to go to sleep. I started rolling onto my side when his cool hand grabbed me and gently pulled me back. I peeked at him.

"Keep your eyes closed, Bella," he said, pressing a kiss to my lips. "I know what I'm doing." I sighed and did as instructed.

Suddenly I felt something cool against my folds. Even with my eyes closed, I raised an eyebrow. The coolness continued, followed by something wet. The wetness grew as I felt pressure against my folds and then the tip of me was on fire. The electricity hummed throughout my body.

I peeked at him and took in a breath. He was in between my thighs, gently licking me. His tongue seemed made for me; it explored every part of me. I was moaning loudly and he was matching with groans of his own.

_This is a first. I've never been tasted before. His tongue feels fantastic. I've always seen the reaction from guys when I've gone down on them, my favorite reaction being Edward, but they've never reciprocated. Just feeling Edward's cool tongue down there is awakening new feelings in me. I hope he never stops._

"I love you, Bella." He pressed his lips against my tip and started sucking lightly. I gripped the sheets and arched my back.

"That feels so good, Edward." As if a reward, he increased his sucking. A low growl escaped his chest as his hands reached under me and cupped my bottom. He massaged it gently and moved his mouth back down to my center. His tongue dipped inside me, making me cry out. I opened my eyes and looked at him.

His hair was in disarray, as usual. His eyes were closed and he looked content in between my legs. His tongue continued its way inside me, feeling every part of me. I moved a hand to his hair and tugged lightly.

"Bella, you are amazing," he said, his voice rough. I knew he was turned on. I pressed myself against him, feeling his tongue slip deeper inside me. My moaning was continuous. He stopped massaging my bottom and pushed my legs wider, allowing deeper access. I cried out again. He growled.

"Do you have any idea how you taste?" His right hand reached up and squeezed my nipple. My back arched again and I drew in a breath sharply. The coolness of his touch on my warm body made my nipple tauter than it was already. And his cool breath against my opening pushed me over the edge. The pressure quickly mounted and I felt a knot form in my stomach.

"You taste fantastic. Like your scent, strawberries. I could stay down here all day, just licking and sucking on you. I want to make you come, drive you wild. I need to show you how I much I love you." His hand moved from my nipple and rested on the inside of my thigh.

"I love you," I breathed. His tongue pulled out of me and started sucking on my tip again. The pressure inside me was too much, the knot breaking and I exploded, crying out his name. I heard him snarl as I came down from my high and he sucked on my tip harder.

It didn't hurt; if anything, it brought me to the brink again. My legs felt like jelly and they collapsed by his head. My back arched and I could feel a bead of sweat slowly crawl down my forehead. My breathing was erratic and my mind went blank. All I could concentrate on was the electricity shooting through me; I hardly felt him anymore. I remained on my high for a few minutes before slowly starting my descent. I could feel his breath on me, uneven.

As I came down, he crawled up me. Edward pressed his lips against mine gently. I opened my eyes and looked into his. They were black.

"D-do you…need me to…" I panted. I couldn't even get it out. He pushed a hair out of my face.

"I don't think you could move if you tried," he said, smiling his crooked grin. "I'm not thirsty, Bella." I shook my head. "Your eyes…" I gasped.

He kissed me again. "I know. I'm not thirsty, but I'm fighting for control. My eyes are black with lust, Bella." He gently ran his fingers over my chest, trembling. "All I want right now is to be inside you."

I brought my hand up and stroked his cheek. He leaned into it. "I won't complain," I said. He chuckled and pulled away.

"I don't think you have the strength after what happened to you." He reached down and pulled the sheet up, wrapping me in his arms. "Besides, the way I feel, I wouldn't be gently making love to you. It would be rough, violent. I don't want to hurt you like that."

I could feel him pressed against my pelvis. I reached down and cupped him through his pajama pants. He hissed and threw his head back, growling. He lay still for a moment. Then he turned on his back.

"See, Bella? That one movement almost cost you. I could have been inside you in a second." I continued stroking him through the fabric. His breathing was erratic.

"I don't care. You forget, Edward that I've been there before. I've never made love, I always fucked. And it's been rough, hard. It wouldn't be anything I'm not used to."

He turned and looked at me. "I don't want to 'fuck' you, I want to make love. I want to cherish you and show you how much I love you. I can't do that right now. The monster inside me wants satisfaction and it would be painful, even dangerous, for you." He moved my hand away and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" He turned back to me. "Anywhere but here. I need to get away before I take you without your consent. I'll never forgive myself if I hurt you, Bella. I want you, don't ever doubt that. But I'm not in control of myself." He walked out.

I lay in the bed, my mind reeling. _Just like that, it's over. How did that happen?_ I was worried that he was upset, that he would blame himself for his lack of control and wouldn't touch me again for awhile.

_Maybe that would be best. We have been doing so well; maybe we need to take a break. We can spend time getting to know each other again. Well, we have been doing that, but more than usual._

I reached over to the other side of the bed and grabbed his shirt. I put it on. Then I decided I needed some water. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. I immediately collapsed.

_Wow. Guess my legs are still like jelly._ I slowly got up and tried walking. I fell again. I decided to crawl to the bathroom.

I held onto the doorknob as I stood up again. I drank down some cool water and turned back. I climbed onto the bed and crawled my way back up to the pillows. I fell asleep quickly, completely spent.

_Edward will be fine. He just has to have confidence that he won't hurt me. That will only come with time. And I have all the time in the world._

**A/N**: What do you think? Should there be a time gap before the big moment? Or should it be the next chapter?

We are coming to the end of this story; only about five more chapters. Thanks so much for sticking with it. I hope you enjoy the rest of it; be sure to refer me to friends. And feel free to check out my other work.

Please review!


	17. Jessica & Alex

**A/N**: Enjoy the ride.

********

I didn't push him for a month. I let him know how much I enjoyed what he had done to me. His golden eyes lit up every time I mentioned it. He would apologize for his lack of control and I would always say it's okay. I told him that we would wait until he felt confident enough.

After that time, however, I was dying. I knew I had to be patient; that was part of the new me. But the old me still craved sexual contact on an almost-daily basis. I had to get used to waiting. For me, I used to just go to a bar when I needed a sexual fix. I can't do that now. Nor do I want to.

Edward needed time; I knew that. I could see his confidence growing. Although we didn't play like before, he would still kiss me deeply and run his cool hands over my body. And I would still love it. I decided it's better for him to take the lead; he knows what he can handle. But when my body is screaming for sexual contact, sometimes it's hard to ignore. Especially when he gets me worked up and then pulls away.

Today was an easy day; we were furniture shopping. It was overcast, rare for LA. That meant Edward wasn't trapped indoors. He couldn't wait to get outside and see the city in the day. I had mentioned that I wanted some new furniture and he thought that was the perfect excuse.

"I don't know, Edward," I said as we walked out of the third store that day. "I haven't found something that I really like. I didn't think it would be so hard."

"Patience, love," he said, throwing an arm over my shoulder. "You'll find it. If nothing appeals to you in the stores, maybe you'll find it online."

We walked past Tiffany's and I stopped. I generally don't look at jewelry but there was a gorgeous pair of pearl earrings that caught my eye. I started drooling.

"See something you like?" he teased. He followed my gaze. "Bella, those are stunning. Would you like to try them on?"

"Yes," I said, not hearing what he said. He started walking into the shop. I snapped out of it. "Edward, wait!" He turned and looked at me, eyebrow raised. "No."

He chuckled. "Bella, love, it's obvious you want those earrings. Let me buy them for you."

Edward always wanted to give me gifts in Forks; at the time, I had no way to repay him. Now I make a decent salary but don't have the income he has.

I shook my head. He sighed and came to me. "So stubborn," he said. He kissed the top of my head. "That's okay," he said with a smirk. "Your birthday's in about four months."

My eyes grew wide. "Edward--," I started to protest.

"Bella," he said as we continued walking. "Now that I'm back I'm going to give you gifts. I know you don't like it, but you're going to have to accept it. I love you and it's part of the package." He wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Like making love?" I asked with a sidelong glance at him. He smiled. "All in good time."

We went inside another furniture store. This one had things I liked. I started looking around and was lost in my thoughts when someone spoke.

"Fancy seeing you here." I spun around and saw Alex. I smiled and gave him a hug.

"I'm glad to see you've recovered." He nodded. "Yup. I have a slight limp and always will from where the bookcase crushed my leg, but other than that, I'm fine."

"When are you starting back to work?"

"Monday, but not in security. I actually got a job hunting for clients." I clasped my hands. "That's great, Alex! You wanted something like that and now you got it. Congratulations."

Edward came over at that moment. He wasn't angry or possessive or anything; he was just relieved Alex was okay. Alex stared at him for a moment.

_He recognizes him from when Edward saved him._ I thought back to Alex in the hospital and what he thought he saw: _ It was the devil. He had flaming red hair and black eyes._ I smiled. He did, but it was an angel, not the devil, who saved him.

Edward extended his hand. "I don't think we've met; I'm Edward Cullen." His voice was smooth, velvet-like. It was the voice he used when he wanted to dazzle people. Alex took his hand eagerly.

"Alex Meyers. Are you sure we haven't met? You look familiar." Edward pulled away after the handshake and took my hand. "Positive. I know all of Bella's friends." Alex looked at us and saw our hands intertwined. He nodded.

"I'm sorry to stare, but I had an accident awhile back and I thought I saw someone who looked like you." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I should get going. See you at the office on Monday, Bella." He left without another word.

I raised an eyebrow at Edward. "Yes, he was remembering 'the devil.' But he was so out of it that he can't be sure I'm him."

We continued walking around the store. "Anything else?"

He nodded. "Megan's been arrested." I turned to him. "Really?"

"The police were informed that the bookcase was rigged. They searched their home and found the evidence." He pointed at a leather recliner. "How's that?"

I sat in it. "Really nice." Then I backtracked. "Wait a minute. You said the police were informed? Who informed them?" He shrugged innocently. "Edward?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. He shrugged again.

_Of course he would do it. Probably best, although I didn't want him involved. At least Megan got her just due and Edward is off the hook._

After ten minutes we left the store. I was hungry, so we stopped at a little deli for lunch. I ordered egg salad with strawberry yogurt at the counter.

He was looking out the window, watching everyone walk by. I smiled as I returned to my seat. "You look so peaceful," I told him. He took my hand.

"I'm glad we were able to get out today, Bella. I love your place, but it was driving me nuts. There's only so many times I can torture Sonny."

I laughed as the food was brought. A light-haired brunette walked in and started ordering. I recognized the voice. I looked up into Edward's eyes and froze. He did too.

_Jessica Stanley._ She made my life hell in Forks. She was always after Edward, even when I had him. And she introduced me to Jeremy. Jeremy…the one who raped me.

She turned around and saw us. Her eyes grew wide when she saw Edward and a smile formed. He groaned.

"She's hoping we aren't 'together' together. She's thinking it would be fun to get me in bed for a one-night stand," he said in a low voice. I choked on my sandwich and looked at her.

"Great seeing you, Bella. Hi Edward!" she flashed him a smile. He nodded at her.

"What brings you here, Jessica?" She held up her bag. "Lunch on the run." She looked at us. "So how is everything?" Her eyes settled on our still-intertwined hands. "I take it you two are back together."

I nodded and looked into Edward's golden eyes. "That's right. He's been back for a little while now and has made me so happy." I gave his hand a squeeze.

"Does he know about your past?" I knew this was coming. There was resentment in Jessica's voice, just like high school. Will she ever grow up?

"Yes, I do." He turned to look at her and flashed a crooked smile, baring his teeth. "But I love Bella and the past is the past. She's with me now."

I hated asking this, but I had to know. "How's Jeremy?" Edward's grip tightened.

"Missing," she said. I dropped my sandwich. "What?"

"He's been missing for awhile. Ever since he broke up with me."

I looked at Edward who was looking at me. His golden eyes gave nothing away. "He broke up with you?"

She nodded. "The day after I introduced you two at the bar. He came over and said that he was not good and shouldn't be with me. Then he broke up with me and left."

My jaw dropped. Edward's grip tightened again. It almost hurt. She continued. "He was apparently cheating on me. He had been getting it on with another woman before meeting me. I could smell her on him."

Edward let out a low growl and got up. "Excuse me," he said with venom in his voice. He walked away.

Jessica watched him go. "Could Edward's butt be cuter?" I shook my head. "Jessica?"

"Huh? Oh, right. So anyways, he returned to his apartment and his roommate said he went out with a few girls they met that night in a bar. Then he just disappeared. The police have no leads and no information."

It started to sink in. _He _will _pay; I guarantee it._ Those were Edward's words the day after Jeremy raped me. I believed he went hunting that day; the first day he tested his control, but maybe not.

"I'm sorry, Jessica."

She shrugged. "Don't be. I'm not. He was a creep. He would have cheated on me anyways." Edward returned to the table. She looked at her watch and scrambled out of the seat. "Oh my God! I was supposed to be back twenty minutes ago! It was nice seeing you two!" She was out the door.

I looked into Edward's eyes as he sat down. His face was a mask.

"Edward?" I questioned for the second time that day. He took my hand and sighed.

"I took care of him," he whispered. He kissed my hand and averted my eyes. "I told you he would pay, Bella. I know you don't want harm to come to people, but I couldn't help myself. Not when you were hurting. Not when some other woman could have been his next victim."

I couldn't be angry. This was Edward. He loved me and was protective of me. He was a vampire with a terrible temper. Jeremy used me, like I used other men. Only he didn't listen when I said "no." Edward did what he thought was best.

I ran my thumb over his cool knuckles. He looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella. I was just so blinded with revenge. I didn't think you'd run into Jessica again and I—." I placed a finger on his lips to quiet him.

"It's okay. I'm not mad. You did what you had to do. Jeremy was scum, he deserves what happened. If you hadn't done it, I'm sure someone else would have." Edward kissed my finger against his lips and I felt his cool breath on it. I shuddered.

"I suppose I don't want to know what happened to him." He smiled mischievously. "No, you don't. It's better for your virgin ears."

I scoffed. "Virgin ears? Have you forgotten, Edward that I haven't been for quite some time?" As soon as I said it, I regretted it. My eyes widened. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. You didn't say anything wrong. I was kidding anyways, meaning that you're a virgin since you're not a killer." He kissed my hand again.

"So, what now?" I asked him. We stood up and started walking out of the restaurant. The sun was peeking through the clouds at times; we would have to be careful.

"Stay in shade?" he asked, looking at me. "Or go home?" I asked. "I'd like to curl up next to you and watch a movie."

He smiled. "Your wish is my command." His Volvo was parked in the shade so he walked to it with no problem. He opened the door. "My lady," he said.

After he climbed in we headed home. My head was spinning with all of the information I had been given. Edward had interfered in my life now that he was back. I knew it was going to happen and I couldn't be mad at him for it. He was doing what he thought best for me…because he loves me.

"I love you," I told him. He looked at me and smiled. "I love you too."

Suddenly I had an idea. While he was watching the road I leaned over and cupped his manhood. He gasped and looked down.

"Bella?" he asked. I started squeezing him lightly. He squirmed. "What?" I teased. "Not liking?"

He groaned. "I like very much, Bella, but we're in traffic. Are you sure it's a good idea?"

"You're a vampire. If you crash, you'll walk away." My hand started running up and down the seam of the fabric. I could feel him hardening.

"But you can't. And I can't hurt you." His voice was strained.

I shrugged. "At least I'll go out doing something I love." He glared at me, not appreciating the joke and quickly made a turn to start heading for the highway. I continued stroking him through the fabric.

"We need plenty of open roads with no one around if this is going to happen," he said roughly. His hand moved down and he unzipped his jeans. "Bella, you will be the death of me."

I leaned over and took his now rock-hard shaft in my mouth as he increased the speed of the Volvo. I had never done this before, never cared enough to try a blow job in the car. I was eager for his reaction. Everything with Edward was so different.

He was moaning and groaning, trying to concentrate on the road. That was what made this fun; knowing that Edward could come unglued at any moment. I deep-throated him and continued to play. He hissed at feeling the back of my throat with his tip and I increased the speed. He placed a hand on my head.

"Oh…God…Bella," he said, laying his head on the headrest. I could feel him trembling as he was trying to keep control; not of himself, but the car.

I gently ran my teeth up and down his shaft. He snarled and tensed up, gripping the steering wheel. I was assaulted with honey and cream and I drank it down. I then lapped everything up, not wanting to spill in his car. I looked up at him.

His eyes were closed and his breathing was uneven. It was then I realized that the car had stopped and we were off to the side. He had pulled over at some point to keep me safe.

"Edward?" I asked. He opened his eyes; they were gold.

"Unbelievable," he whispered. "Bella, you have rendered me useless. I can't move for a minute." I smiled and kissed his cheek. Then I started pulling away. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"Thank you."

I looked at him quizzically. "It wasn't a service," I said.

He smiled. "I know. I'm thanking you for trusting me enough with your life while in the throes of passion. I won't let you down when we make love." He leaned over and kissed me deeply, returning my hand to his shaft. I looked at him and he had a mischievous glint in his eyes. Then he spoke.

"Ready for round two?"

********

**A/N**: Edward's loosening up, huh?


	18. Bella's Climax

**A/N**: And here it is…the big moment.

********

Edward continued to pleasure me orally. The second time his eyes remained gold, though they were darkened. I would still hear him growl and hiss while he tasted me; that told me that he was aroused. He always initiated. A few times I told him 'no' because I was worried about his control. He would then show me that he was fine and start the assault on my body. I never complained.

He let me continue to please him as well. His venom tasted amazing; I could drink it for days. I knew it probably wasn't safe, but I would do what I could to get him off more than once. It worked a few times. The first time he had a double orgasm was a major compliment for me. I had gently run my teeth over his tip and that drove him over the edge. I tasted honey and cream while it went down. As he was recovering, my mouth clamped down on his manhood and I cupped his sac. He cried out. The honey and cream again assaulted the back of my throat and I swallowed it greedily.

Edward was trembling. I didn't think that was possible when he wasn't fighting for control, but he was. The sensations coursing through him were magnified because he was a vampire. What was a so-so orgasm for me would be major for him. I wondered if it was possible for a vampire to pass out from overstimulation. I thought I would try at some point.

I was happy that he still wanted to play after that night. He told me that he loved me and wanted to show me. I told him that I didn't want it to be a service. His eyes grew wide and he said it wasn't that at all. "Bella, I love you. I want you. I want to make you happy. I want to show you that I'm not going anywhere."

There was a night where we pleasured each other outside of the bedroom. I generally prefer being there, but I would really have sex anywhere. Edward is rather old-fashioned; for him the bedroom is the place for sex. But _he_ was the one who changed our routine. And that was when it happened.

We had just come back from a date. He took me to an art gallery and then a stroll along the beach. It was a beautiful night and I was with the most beautiful man. I noticed several women gaping at him and shooting daggers at me. Edward would chuckle at what he heard in their minds and pull me closer to him.

Anyways, when we returned I told him I was going to have some wine. He followed me to the kitchen and started peppering my neck with kisses. My back was to him and he pressed me against the counter. I could feel him growing hard against me. I had worn a sleeveless dress and his lips kissed my bare arms before returning to my neck. I was moaning from his mouth on me. He took that as his cue to continue.

I suddenly felt the zipper of my dress being pulled down and pushed off my shoulders. He stepped back, allowing me to remove it and turned around. I had put on a lacy green bra with matching panties that day, never thinking that he would see it. His breath hitched at the sight.

"Your creamy skin really stands out against that green," he said, placing his lips on mine. There was urgency in his kiss, a hunger. I wound my hands in his hair and he placed one hand at my hip and the other over my bra. He gently squeezed my breast while continuing to kiss me. I could feel the coolness of his touch even through the fabric. My nipple grew hard.

I placed my tongue in his mouth and heard a low growl escape him. His kiss grew more passionate and he plunged his tongue into mine. They danced elaborately in our mouths, tasting each other and enjoying the sensation. The electricity intensified tenfold and I could feel the wetness against the cotton of my panties.

Edward could smell it too and I could feel him against me. He was harder than I ever felt him and I ground against him. His hands moved and cupped my bottom. He lifted me off the floor and placed me on the counter. I wrapped my legs around him and he continued to press his manhood to me. I moved a hand to cup him and he threw back his head and hissed.

"You're going to pay for that," he teased. He brought his hands up and undid my bra, removing it and throwing it across the room. He started sucking on my nipples, hard, and my release was quickly building. My moaning was continuous and he matched with his own. I yanked on his pants, asking for permission to touch him.

He granted it and stood before me, completely naked, in the span of a second. My eyes grew wide at how fast he was. I grabbed his steel-hard shaft and started stroking it roughly while his mouth returned to my neck.

"God, Bella," he said, his voice raspy. He tugged on my panties and I leaned back so he could get them off. He kept me in that position while he brought his mouth to my opening. My moaning intensified and my hand found its way to his hair. I was pulling on it lightly while propping myself up.

"So good," I said breathlessly. His reply was a growl and his tongue plunged inside me. I cried out at the coolness of it and continued to grip his hair. The pleasure coursing through me was already getting to be too much. I bit my lip and tried to think of something other than the gorgeous man in between my legs. It was futile.

He withdrew his tongue and started sucking on my tip. In this position, a whole new sensation started flowing through me. I threw my head back

"Edward!" I cried. I slowly pulled my head back down to watch him. He was intent on making sure I was pleased. He didn't look at me, but continued to suck on me, hard.

I was coming fast. I didn't know if I could stop. I wanted us both to come at once. I tried reaching for him, wanted to feel his hardness in my hand, but he moved out of the way.

"Uh-uh, Bella," he said, grinning and looking at me. His eyes were gold. He stood up and suckled my breast.

As soon as his cool breath was on me I exploded, crying his name. He snarled and gently bit my nipple.

Suddenly he pulled away. I looked at his eyes, they were darkened gold. I opened my mouth to ask him what was up when he placed a cool finger to my lips. He picked me up and carried me to the living room. He laid me on the floor and hovered over me.

"I can't make it to the bedroom," he said. His voice was still raspy. He pressed his lips to mine and cupped my breast. I could feel his tip against my opening and I froze. I didn't want to push against him and drive him out of control. But God, how I wanted to feel him inside me.

"Don't freeze," he whispered, placing kisses along my neck. I relaxed a bit, but he never moved. _What is going on?_ I couldn't tell but I didn't want to ask.

He suddenly reached down and lined himself up. He looked into my eyes and gently pushed his tip inside. I arched my back and he hissed at the contact…and my reaction.

"Fuck," he said, one of the few times he's cursed. He slowly continued to enter me, savoring the feeling. I could not believe how he felt. He completely filled me, completely rubbed against my walls. I gripped his hips as he stilled for a moment.

"You okay?" I asked. His breathing was uneven. His eyes flashed black, and then returned to gold. He nodded yes and slowing started pulling out and pushing back in. I had never had someone go slow, never had someone make love to me. This was a new feeling, the feeling of being loved.

As he continued thrusting I wrapped my legs around him, driving him deeper. He growled and pressed his lips to mine forcefully. His hands wound behind me and he held me closer to him. His cool chest was perfect against my overheated one. My nipples were hard and rubbed against him.

"Tell me if I hurt you. I'll stop immediately," he whispered against my lips. His thrusting increased and my eyes rolled back in my head. His grip intensified on me. It didn't hurt, but I noticed that his embrace was like iron.

My hips started moving along with his, matching his rhythm. He unhooked my legs from his waist and pushed a leg up, driving deeper. He was already in so far, I didn't think there was any other place for him to go. I felt him rubbing against my spot and I knew it wouldn't be long before I came. His hands returned to my back.

I could feel him trembling, even in his iron grip. He pressed his lips to mine and our tongues danced. We stayed in that rhythm for awhile, our hips complimenting each other and the electricity between us growing.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

"I love you too," he said. He released me from his iron grip and placed his hands on either side of me. "Bella, I'm fighting against going faster. I want to, but I want to make love to you."

"Faster," I whispered. He looked into my eyes. "Are you sure?" I nodded. He immediately increased. It almost hurt, but not quite. "Tell me if it's too much," he said. I wrapped my legs around him again. He groaned. The pressure had had enough.

I felt my release coming fast. Edward continued to thrust fast, increasing with each push. Suddenly it was too rough and I felt pain, but the pleasure flowing through me overrode it.

"Edward!" I screamed as I orgasmed. My back arched and I gripped him tightly. He snarled and growled, throwing his head back, reaching his release as well. I felt his cool venom inside me as I started coming down. He continued to thrust, the pace never wavering as another round of energy took him.

I wanted to tell him that it did hurt, but I couldn't have him stop. The pain wasn't too much, just enough for me to notice, like a bruise. I couldn't believe that he actually was inside me. _I'll take some pain as long as he continues to have sex with me. I hope we never stop._

"I don't want to stop," he whispered, echoing my thoughts. I ran my hand over his stone chest and pinched his nipple. He snarled and pushed my legs up more, driving deeper.

"Then don't," I said. He looked at me and smiled. I then reached down and cupped his bottom. I pushed him in more, hearing him groan. _Can he go in any further? He's already at my center._

Without warning, I started shaking. I had never felt an orgasm like this before. It was on me all of a sudden. Edward felt it and slowed his thrusts. It was so much more than anything else I had experienced. I cried out his name as the explosion overtook me. Then it was too much. Everything went blank.

When I opened my eyes, Edward was lying beside me, looking at me intently. He smiled at me.

"That was the best compliment I could ever receive," he said. "What happened?" I asked. His brow furrowed. He rose up and set his head in his hand. "You don't remember?"

"I remember that I orgasmed and suddenly you are lying here at my side." He chuckled and kissed my lips. "Your orgasm was so much that you passed out. You've only been out for a few minutes."

I looked at him. "I'm sorry; I took your release away from you." He ran his cool hand over my breasts. I shuddered. "You didn't; I came as soon as you did." I smiled.

"Edward, that was…mind-blowing. I've never experienced anything like that before." He smiled again. "I haven't either Bella. Course, you knew that, me being a virgin. For a vampire, sex is the second-greatest pleasure. The first, of course, being blood. But this tops everything. You remember I've tasted your blood and it's great. But this," he said, wrapping a leg around me, "was more than anything I've ever imagined. No blood can equal that." He brushed a hair out of my face. "I can't wait to be inside you again. I feel like we were made for each other."

I smiled. "And your eyes stayed gold," I said. I ran my hand over his cheek. He sighed. "I know. And I didn't hurt you, either. I don't know how that happened, but I didn't." He sat up and looked at me. "You are so beautiful, Bella. Always, but more so in the post-coital glow."

I blushed. He chuckled and picked me up. I shrieked. "What are you doing?" Within the blink of an eye we were in my bedroom.

"You need to rest, love. You're spent. We've had a big night and you need to get your strength back." He placed me in the bed, brushing against my opening. I felt pain and winced. He didn't see it as he was pulling the sheet up. Then he lay next to me, wrapping me in his arms. He pressed my back against his chest firmly.

"Sleep my Bella. Dream happy dreams," he whispered. I yawned as sleep took me quickly.

********

**A/N**: I hope you enjoyed that. Please let me know!

Thanks for reading. Please review!


	19. Chris Again

**A/N**: I tried to upload last night, but FF was down. Sorry!

I've decided to extend this story a bit; it will now be about twenty-five chapters. Some of the best "sexcapades" between Edward and Bella are still to come. Just remember this: handcuffs.

Thanks for reading! Please review!

********

"Thank you for asking me to lunch, Chris," I said as we walked to our table. I placed my purse over the arm of it and sat down.

After ordering our drinks, I asked Chris how he was. "Fine," he said, never taking his eyes off the menu. When our drinks arrived, we ordered an appetizer of onion rings to split.

"Have you given any other thought to my proposition?" he asked, looking intently into my eyes. I gave him a questioning look.

"You don't remember." It wasn't a question. I shook my head. "I asked you to think about going straight. To be a one-man woman. To give me a chance."

I thought back to that day; the day Edward watched me while I slept on the couch. _"I don't want to be a convenience….We already know so much about each other._ I had given Chris an answer awhile ago, but I guess he didn't accept it.

I sighed and looked down at the tablecloth. "Things have…changed." I glanced up at him. He nodded, urging me to continue. "E-Edward is back," I blurted out.

Chris's expression went from friendly to cold. He knew about Edward leaving me; I had told him in college. Apart from Jacob, he was the only one who knew how much pain I was in. Chris was a friend to me when no one else was.

"He came back?" he asked, his voice laced with venom. The waiter arrived and we ordered our main course. "The asshole came back?"

"Chris," I said, taking his hand. "Please don't call him that. Yes, he came back. He left to protect me; he thought I would be better off without him. But he never stopped loving me. He is back now and we are trying to make it work."

He pulled his hand away. "You said he left to protect you. What did you need protecting from?"

I swallowed, realizing I had messed up. I had to think fast. "He had some bad connections; people who could hurt me. He left to protect me from them." _Not a complete lie._

"If he had bad connections, how do you know that you're safe now?"

Our onion rings arrived and we started munching on them. I thought about Edward being with me. Every time he felt his control wavering, he left. He left to protect me. And he always returned. That's what he needed to do to keep me safe. Like after the first time he fondled my breasts. He wanted to continue, but he knew he wasn't in control. So he left.

"Bella?" Chris asked me.

"I just am," I answered, chewing on a ring. _Lame!_ "I know he would never hurt me, Chris. He loves me."

He scoffed and dipped his ring in ranch dressing. "Just as long as you don't sleep with him."

I blushed; a move he noticed. He stared at me. "You're not serious!" he almost yelled. I looked around the restaurant; luckily not many people were in there.

"Chris, I have given up my previous lifestyle. I only want to be with him now." I shoved another ring in my mouth. _Shut up, Bella! It's not his business!_

"I don't believe it! I'm stable and around and you refuse to have a relationship with me. He leaves you and you sleep with him and commit to him. Bella, do you need to be institutionalized?" He was yelling now. A few members of the wait staff looked over at us.

I shook my head. We ate in silence for awhile. I thought back to yesterday and how we finally made love. It was so perfect; so right. We _were_ made for each other. I was excited to do it again, as he was.

But I still wanted to wait. My vaginal area was sore from our lovemaking; more like sore from his granite body slamming against mine. It didn't hurt that much, though. I just wanted the soreness to recede and I would be ready for more mind-blowing sex.

It wasn't just sex with Edward. When I am with him, our souls are joining. I know he believes he doesn't have one, but I know he does. I feel it with every fiber of my being. I feel his soul when he touches me, looks at me or even speaks to me. And last night, when he entered me, I felt whole. I was one. The electricity flowing through us was like nothing I had ever experienced. Our souls melded together and will never be broken.

"What if he leaves you again, Bella?" Chris asked me, bringing me back to reality.

"He won't."

He shook his head. "He left you once. What makes you think he won't do it again?"

"Because we've made love," I said simply. His eyes darkened. "What happened to 'fucking?'"

Our orders arrived and I placed my napkin in my lap. "I told you, I don't do that anymore. I am committed to Edward. I don't 'fuck' anymore. I make love to him and him only. Our souls are joining when we are together."

Chris just stared at me, gaping. "Bella, you _do_ need to be institutionalized. Don't you realize what you're saying?" His meal was forgotten.

"Yes, I do," I spat. "What I do now is of no business of yours. In fact, I can't believe I told you about our sex life. What I do with Edward has nothing to do with you. If he hurts me, and that's a big _if_, I will deal with it my way…like I did before. I can't blame him for the decisions I make and neither can you!"

I got up and unhooked my purse from the chair. He grabbed my arm. "Wait," he said. "Don't go." He was imploring me with his eyes. I sighed and sat back down.

"Look, I can't pretend that this doesn't hurt. I've wanted you for awhile, Bella. And I don't mean just in bed." His eyes were telling the truth. "When you first told me about Edward, I was jealous that you were wasting your time mourning your relationship. As you moved on, you took the destructive path of sleeping with men for power. I knew that was a result of him leaving you. But I was always by your side, Bella. I was there to help you heal. Now he's back and you're older, wiser. I hope you know what you're doing. I will accept your choice, but it hurts nonetheless."

I nodded slowly. He smiled. "If Edward so much as hurts a hair on your head, though, I _will_ kick his ass."

I laughed. _I'd like to see you try._ Besides, if Edward did hurt a hair on my head, he'd kick his own ass. And so would Emmett. "You have a deal, Chris. But I must warn you, Edward's very strong."

He shrugged. "I'd still do it." He smiled at me. "So anyways, tell me about how it's been since he's been back."

I spent the remainder of our lunch date filling him in on the bliss I have felt with Edward. It was surreal; how I could be so unhappy just a few months ago and now be totally happy and in love. In love. That was true. I had told Edward that I loved him, but there was always doubt. After last night, that doubt had dissipated.

I couldn't wait to make love to him again, either. This time in my bed, properly. I didn't mind that it happened on the floor, but maybe my vaginal soreness wouldn't have happened if I was on a soft mattress. Plus, the idea of pleasuring Edward in the most intimate way in my bed just drove me wild with desire.

When lunch was done, I paid the bill. It was the least I could do for hurting Chris's feelings. He took my hand as we walked out of the restaurant.

"I'll see you, Bella." He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it. "Maybe you'll introduce us someday. That is, if he sticks around."

I removed my hand and looked at him. "Sure, I think he would like that. He knows about my past; I'm sure he'd like to meet one of the guys I used for power."

It was wrong, I knew it. But he deserved it. His eyes clouded over and he turned and walked away. I knew Chris, though. He wouldn't stay upset for long. In fact, he'll probably call me tomorrow.

I sighed and climbed into my car. Chris already text me: _I miss you already._

When I returned home, I noticed Sonny outside. He ran to the edge of the fence and wagged his tail happily. I stuck my hand through and pat his head. I then noticed the rainbow facets that danced off of his fur. I chuckled.

"How long have you been there?" I asked. He brushed my cheek with his hand. "Awhile. I have been amusing myself by torturing Sonny." As if in agreement, the little dog growled at him. He laughed.

I stood up and walked into the apartment. Edward's arms wrapped around my waist to stop me. I leaned back against his stone chest.

"How was lunch?" he asked, nuzzling my ear. He breathed in my scent.

"Fine," I said, enjoying his touch. The electricity was already humming. His lips moved down to my neck. "Chris knows that you left me. He was one of my college friends. He…he was my first," I said guiltily. I felt that Edward had to know. I had to be completely honest with him if we were going to make it.

His lips continued on my neck. "He's special, then." I shook my head slowly and turned to face him. "No. None of them have ever meant anything to me. I only slept around for power. But you," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck, "you I love. I only want you Edward. I want to pleasure you and make love to you because I love _you_. I want to start over again…with you."

"You already have." He pressed his lips to mine gently. "I love you, Bella," he murmured against my lips. "But if you decide you don't want me, you will have to tell me. I will let you live your life. If you decide that you want someone else, I will support your decision." We touched foreheads.

I looked deeply into his honey eyes. "Never, Edward. Now that we have made love, we will forever be one. Our souls are complete." His eyes darkened. "I don't know if I have a soul, Bella. I know that you think I do and I will consider it for as long as you want."

I gently stroked his cheek. "Thank you," I whispered. He pressed his lips to mine again. I returned the kiss and it grew in passion. I pressed myself against him and felt the stirring in his pants. He ran a cool hand down my hip and across my pelvis. He ran it gently over my clothed mound.

I jumped back. He looked at me quizzically. "Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded. _Lie._ "Of course. I just don't want it to be about sex with us." That was true. Now that we fit so perfectly, I don't want to crave him for just that.

He nodded. I wrapped my arms around him again. "I agree, Bella. But your reaction made me think that you were in pain." He looked into my eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked again.

"Yes," I said. It was true, I was okay. He smiled.

"Good. I was worried maybe I hurt you last night. You can't imagine how ecstatic I am that I didn't. It makes me eager to try it again." He gave me a chaste kiss.

"Was it very hard for you?" I asked, breaking away and walking into the living room.

"It was easier than I expected. Mind over matter." He sat down on the couch and I joined him. He wrapped an arm around me and I lay my head on his chest. I sighed, content. _I never want this to end._


	20. Edward's Error

"Edward?" I called as I entered the kitchen. I had just finished an exhausting week of work. I have been busy on a "client push;" trying to get more clients into the agency. So far, it seems to be working. Actress and model Ashley Greene signed with us today. I was thrilled that I got to meet her; she is _so_ nice.

This week has been extremely hard, however. I warned Edward that I would have late nights at the office and be irritable and crabby. He has been an angel. He was always here with dinner for me when I got home. And he gave me a massage last night. He regulated the pressure in his hands so that he could use a little force to help get remove the knots from my neck. It felt amazing; almost as good as when we made love.

I looked around the kitchen. It was spotless. I opened the refrigerator door and saw it was stocked. I walked into the living room and couldn't believe how clean everything was.

_When did he do this?_

"Edward?" I yelled. I was getting a little nervous; it wasn't like him to not be home. I stopped short when I entered the bedroom. It was beautiful. The room was lit with candles, giving it a rosy glow. Rose petals were strewn across the sheets and pillows. I touched the pillowcase. _Satin_. Edward had bought satin sheets for my bed. On the bed stand was a bottle of champagne; chilled with a flute glass beside it. A bowl of fresh strawberries sat next the champagne.

_What? Why?_

"Hi," a velvet voice said softly. I yelped and turned around. Edward stood in the doorway looking absolutely gorgeous. He had on a white tee-shirt which hugged his chest tightly and showed off his muscular arms. My eyes wandered down and I caught sight of tight black jeans; so tight I could see every curve of his bottom. His golden eyes danced and his bronze hair was in disarray; as usual.

"Bella?" he said. I raised my eyes to his and blushed. He was smiling. "Were you ogling me?" he asked playfully.

"May-be," I said. He chuckled and walked to me. "How was work?" he said, wrapping his arms around me.

"Glad it's over," I breathed as I wound my arms around his firm chest. I breathed his scent in and laid my head against his heart. We stood like that for a few minutes, not moving or speaking.

"You okay?" he said softly, breaking the silence. I nodded against his chest. He pulled back and placed his hands on my arms. "Bella?" he asked again.

I looked into his gorgeous eyes. They were full of concern and love. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For being so distant this week. I have just been so stressed and now the week is over and I'm happy to be home…with you."

He chuckled and pressed his lips to my forehead. "Bella, you warned me in advance about your work commitment. In case you hadn't noticed, I made myself scarce. I didn't want to be in your way; I know how important your job is to you." He brushed a hair out of my face.

"It's not as important as you," I said, running my hand over his shirt.

Edward nodded. "I know. But your work _is_ important. It makes you happy. It is a part of who you are; I understand that. I know it can be stressful at times. That was why I didn't want to be in the way; I wanted you to know that I support you."

I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his gently. "Thank you. You are too good to me."

He smiled. "You have _no_ idea how happy I am to hear you say that." He kissed me back, this time with more passion. I wound my fingers in his hair and pulled him closer to me. He groaned.

"So, uh…" he stuttered, trying to find the right words. "Do you like the room?" he asked hoarsely.

I ground against him. "Yes. What is the occasion?"

"You."

I pulled back slightly and looked into his eyes. They were a darkened gold. He was aroused. "I wanted to pleasure you after your rough week. You have been busy working to please other people this week. Tonight, I want to please _you._"

I smiled. "You really are too good to me." I broke from his embrace and turned around. "This is amazing. And so romantic."

He nodded and smiled his crooked smile. "Alice helped. Well, she gave me ideas."

"How is she?" I asked. He shrugged. "She's disappointed that she isn't here to see you. But I told her all in good time."

I laughed. _That sounds like Edward._ "Whenever Edward is fine with me." I walked to the bed stand and picked up the champagne. "Care for some?" I asked playfully. He wrinkled his nose. "Ew," he replied. I brought the glass to my lips and downed it quickly. It tasted so good.

"Careful, Bella," he warned. "I don't want you drunk when I ravage you." He walked to me and wrapped his hands around my waist.

"Why not?"

"Because I want you to remember everything." He brought his lips to my neck and started pressing kisses there.

I closed my eyes. His cool skin felt fantastic. My heart was beating frantically and I knew he could hear it. He chuckled, his lips never leaving my skin.

"Excited, Bella?" he asked playfully. I nodded slowly. He moved to the other side of my neck. "So am I," he whispered in my ear. "Feel." He took my hand and pressed it to his shaft. Rock-hard. I started massaging it gently. His breathing grew ragged. A low growl escaped his chest.

He pulled back slightly to undo the buttons on my blouse. I looked into his eyes; they were black. I knew he was in control because he wasn't pulling away. But I still had to check. "You okay?" I asked softly.

"Yes," he whispered, pushing my shirt down my arms. I shrugged it off. He slowly ran his fingers down my arm. "I'm completely in control of my thirst, but not my lust. You have _no_ idea how much I want to be inside you."

I pulled his lips to mine and whispered against them. "You have _no_ idea how much I want you inside me." I kissed him feverishly, pushing my tongue into his mouth. He growled again and returned the kiss with the same intensity as I had. "Make love to me," I said.

In a flash I was on the bed with him on top of me. He peppered my skin with kisses, his cool lips driving me wild. I tugged on his shirt; gorgeous as he was wearing it, he was more breathtaking without it. I heard something rip and the remains were across the room. I chuckled as he brought his lips to my torso; kissing my breasts above the bra line and underneath the wire. He continued kissing his way down to my navel, making sure no patch of skin was ignored.

The electricity was humming between us. His cool lips were amazing on my skin. I felt his hand come up and cup my breast. I moaned. Even through the fabric I could feel his touch and the electricity.

"Edward," I breathed. His lips returned to mine and our tongues danced intimately. After a minute, he stood up and removed his jeans and then gently tugged on mine. I nodded and they were off in the blink of an eye. I lay before him in my bra and panties. He sat back and drank me in.

"You get more beautiful every day," he said. I blushed. "Even more so now."

He gently reached behind me and unclasped my bra. I sat up to remove it while he tugged on my panties. Without warning, his lips found my center.

"Oh God!" I yelled. I felt his cool tongue running up and down the mouth of my opening. It was indescribable. I gripped the sheets and my back arched. He groaned.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too," I breathed. My right hand left the sheet and I wound it into his hair. His tongue dipped inside my opening causing me to cry out again.

He continued massaging my inside walls with his tongue. The coolness of him was a great contrast from my warmth.

"If your juices were wine, I'd buy the whole store," he whispered. His hand came up and he gently massaged my breast. The movement pushed me over the edge. My breasts have always been super-sensitive; all Edward had to do was run his hands over me and I would explode in ecstasy.

This was no exception. I screamed his name and heard him growl as my orgasm hit. His tongue didn't waver; it continued inside me as I came down from my high.

When my breathing regulated, he left my thighs and climbed back up to me. He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me gently.

"I wasn't sure if you were going to make it there," he said playfully. His eyes were still black but filled with happiness.

"I-in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not completely 'there,'" I said smiling. He returned the smile and positioned himself over me.

"Do you still want me to continue?" I nodded.

He gripped my hips gently and pushed his way in slowly. We both groaned at the sensation. He was so big; I could feel every inch of him. The friction of him rubbing against me drove me wild and I knew he felt the same way.

He brought his lips to my neck as he started thrusting gently. He was slower than the first time and that was okay with me. I didn't mind going fast, it was what I was used to, but I wanted to enjoy and savor him. I wrapped my legs around him to drive him deeper.

His hands disappeared into my hair and he continued peppering my body with kisses. He kissed across my collarbone and down to my breasts. He gently licked and sucked on my nipples, causing me to throw my head back.

"You are so sexy," he said. "I love the noises you make. It encourages me; I want to drive you wild with passion." He thrust harder. I tightened my legs around him.

"Edward, you have no reason to doubt," I said. I ran my hand down his chest and pinched his nipples. He closed his eyes and shuddered. "You feel amazing."

He opened his eyes and kept eye contact with me while continuing to thrust. I matched his with my hip movements. I knew Edward was enjoying; he kept groaning, growling and hissing.

I felt his arms wrap around me and he held me tightly. My breasts were pressed against his stone chest; I rubbed my nipples against his. He groaned at the sensation and kissed me, tightening his grip.

Too much. It was hurting; I was in pain. I had trouble breathing. "Ed-Edward…" I breathed. His lips returned to my neck, his thrusting increasing. He was getting close. I tried again. "I-I can't…"

His grip tightened even more as he met his release. I felt like I was being crushed and was going to say something to him, but when I saw his face my pain receded. It was ecstasy. He threw his head back and growled loudly; the predator in him taking over. His teeth were bared and eyes closed.

Suddenly he released me. He gripped my headboard and I felt his cool venom inside me. I smiled, forgetting all about the pain I was just in. Nothing mattered but his happiness; his pleasure. Although I didn't get off, I was thrilled he did. _Besides, there's always next time._

He laid his head on my chest as his breathing returned to normal. I ran my hand through his hair, enjoying the vibration of the low growl that escaped on my chest.

"Bella," he breathed. I hummed in response. "Mind-blowing. The only way I can describe that." He looked up at me, eyes golden.

I smiled. His eyes were so full of love and adoration. He pulled out of me and rolled over. I felt the pain return then. I drew in a breath sharply.

"You okay?" he asked me. I nodded. _He can't know._ I slowly rolled over to face him and stroked his cheek. He leaned into my touch. "How do you feel?" I asked him.

"Fabulous. I love you so much, Bella." He gently pressed his lips to mine. I returned it and it grew in passion. He brought his hand to my torso and started to gently pull me towards him.

I hissed in pain. He froze and looked at me. "Bella?" he asked slowly. My eyes widened, realizing he was figuring it out. I pulled the sheet up to cover myself.

He yanked it back down. "Bella," he said sternly. "Did I hurt you?" I looked into his eyes; they were full of concern and worry. I hated seeing him like this, especially when he was so happy a moment ago.

"Tell me!" he said sharply. I nodded slowly. He looked down at my body and saw where his arms had crushed me against him. My body bruised easily; this was one of many times that I wished it didn't. He drew in a breath sharply. Then he looked at me.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Bella," he said, choking on the words. If he could cry, I suspect tears would have fallen. He gently ran his cool hand over my torso and his breathing was uneven.

"It's okay," I said, stroking his cheek. "I'm okay." He looked like he wanted to believe me but couldn't. "I'm okay, Edward. Your grip was a little too much, that's all. That will improve with practice. You didn't do anything wrong." _Please believe me._

He nodded slowly and backed away from me. I grabbed his hand; terrified he had decided to never touch me again. I needed him; he was the other half of my soul. We were one. I am nothing without my soul. He couldn't leave me again.

"Please stay," I whispered. He sighed, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and coming back to join me. I snuggled up against him and wrapped his arms around me, showing that I wasn't broken. He gently pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I'm sorry Bella."

I shook my head. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm fine. I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered in my ear. I buried my head in his chest as he hummed my lullaby. "Edward?" I asked after a minute. He was silent. "Will we make love again?"

I knew the answer. I knew it, but it still surprised me when he finally spoke a minute later. "Not for awhile. I won't hurt you again."

********

**A/N**: Oops!


	21. Alice

**A/N**: Sorry for the delay! I am doing a show and my schedule is filling up. I will try to get a few chapters up this weekend…when I'm not seeing _Remember Me._

Thanks for reading! Please review!

********

I hadn't even gotten out of the car when an ear-piercing scream broke through the silence. I smiled. _I'm excited to see you too, Alice_.

Edward chuckled and took my hand to help me out of the car. He gave it a gentle squeeze and his eyes danced. They were full of love.

"Bella!" Alice screeched as she threw her arms around me. She would have thrown me off balance if she hadn't been so strong. I hugged her back.

"I missed you, Alice," I said. She yanked Edward's hand from mine and replaced it with her own. "I missed you too. So much. I'm glad that this idiot finally got it through his thick head that he can't live without you." She pushed her brother gently.

He laughed. "It's good to see you, Alice." She gave him a hug, never removing her hand from mine. There was a flurry of motion as the other members of the Cullen family started filing outside. First was Emmett, who enveloped me in a big bear hug.

"Bella!" he roared in my ear. "You have no idea how boring it is when you're not here." He looked at Edward. "Your boyfriend is so dull; all he would do is mope. I was ready to kick his ass for annoying the crap out of me."

I laughed and gave him a gentle push. It was futile. "Well, your agony is over, Emmett. We are together and happy." I glanced in his direction and saw him talking to Alice. I knew he was reading Emmett's mind, however. "I love him. So much." _And that's the truth._

Emmett nodded. "I know. And never doubt that he loves you, Bells. Remember, he left to protect you. We all did. But we're back now and back with a vengeance!" The last words he yelled and pumped his fist.

Rosalie came up behind him and smacked the back of his head. "Idiot," she said. Then she looked at me. I braced myself, expecting a cold stare. Rosalie didn't care for me. I know that she didn't approve of my wanting to be immortal and the fact that Edward found someone whose beauty topped hers.

Her golden eyes were kind. She smiled and held out her hand. "It's great to see you, Bella." I took her hand and she pulled me into a hug. "We'll talk later," she whispered in my ear. When I pulled back, she winked at me and smiled.

"Rose," Edward growled. She glared at him. "You stay out of my head!" While the two of them argued, Carlisle and Esme came into view. After pleasantries with them, Jasper spoke up. He held back at first, I'm guessing due to the circumstances of last time.

"Bella," he said smiling. I walked to him, noticing him tensing. I threw my arms around him and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"It's great to see you," I said. When I pulled away, his eyes were still gold. He had not stopped breathing; he was in control. He smiled. "Thank you for doing that."

Edward appeared at my side. "Jasper hated himself for what happened. He still hasn't forgiven himself for losing control." Jasper looked ashamed.

"It's okay, Jasper," I said. "I know you wouldn't do it on purpose. It's your nature."

"Thank you, Bella," Carlisle said, coming up behind me. "You've always been generous to us." He looked around. "Why don't we go inside?"

After assembling in the living room, everyone started talking. I sat back and watched them. _They really are a family._ Emmett sneaked up on Jasper and placed him in a head lock. They proceeded to thrash around the house, breaking Esme's crystal in the process. She chased after them with a broom, hitting Emmett with it and breaking it in two. Alice and Rosalie were whispering to each other and looking at me every so often. Edward and Carlisle were discussing their next hunt. Apparently the mountain lion population has increased since he's been gone. And I know that Edward hasn't had mountain lion in awhile.

"Bella?" Alice said softly. I looked over where she and Rosalie were sitting. They smiled and Rosalie motioned for me to join them in another room. I got up slowly, wondering what was going on.

Edward's arms wrapped around me before I left the room. He whispered in my ear. "I have no idea what's going on with Alice. She's blocking her thoughts from me. I did catch something about me, though." His nose slowly ran up the side of my head and he pressed a kiss into my temple. I shivered.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too." Then he released me. I followed after Rosalie and Alice, wondering what they were up to.

It took me a minute to realize we were in Alice and Jasper's room. I looked around and smiled. There were books on the Civil War (some with bindings from the era) and color everywhere. A long couch replaced the bed and across from it sat a huge entertainment area. It was cozy.

"What's up Alice?" I asked her. She sat on the couch and motioned for me to join her. "Where's Rose?"

"She's coming. She had to get something." As if on cue, Rosalie walked in carrying a black box. She smiled and sat on the floor in front of us.

"What's going on?" I asked looking at both of them slowly. Alice looked at Rose. "You going to chicken out?" she said.

"No," Alice said. She took my hand. "Bella, we know you and Edward have had sex."

I stared at her. _Of course she'd know; she would have seen it._ I nodded for her to continue. "I know the last time didn't go over so well. He hurt you. We all know that it was nothing major and he shouldn't be acting the way he is, but that's Edward. He's always been uptight."

I nodded again. The last time Edward and I made love was over two months ago. I understand his reasoning for abstaining, but it is driving me nuts! I've never gone this long without some sort of sexual contact. When I wanted it, I found the guy and got the job done. But now I can't. I owe it to Edward to be faithful to him, especially since he remained faithful to me. He never stopped loving me and always knew we would be together again. I can't hurt him because I need satisfaction.

But it's still hard. I have been having rather obscene dreams lately. In one, Edward and I are in the meadow back in Forks. We are lying on the ground, smelling the flowers and suddenly I am on top of him, kissing my way down his neck to his collarbone. I continue working my way down his stone form and take him in my mouth. The sounds he makes spur me on and I can see him writhing in pleasure. When he almost reaches his release, I remove my mouth and stroke him. I bring him to the brink and then change what I'm doing about three times before it's too much and the honey and cream assaults me. Then he looks into my eyes and pulls me to him. We lie in the meadow staring into each other's eyes.

In another, he meets me at work. I am pretty much reliving my Alex moment, only with Edward in his place. And the sex is amazing! The thrill of getting caught along with the thrill of danger from him makes me wetter than ever before. His hard body holds me as things are knocked off the desk. He places kisses all down my body and I grip his arms. His eyes are black and he's in control of himself. He mouth reaches my opening and he begins to lick. I am putty in his hands and his tongue finds its way inside. He drives me to the brink when….

"Bella!" Rosalie said sharply. I snapped back to reality. They were both looking at me. "Wow that must have been some fantasy."

"Why?" I asked nervously.

"You were breathing heavy and moaning Edward's name," Alice said. I blushed. "No, I didn't."

"Oh trust me, you did," Rosalie said through her laughter. She ran her fingers through her hair. "I think Edward and Carlisle could hear you."

I put my head in my hands. "Great," I muttered. Alice laughed. "I'm glad that we got you on the right track." I looked at her confusedly. She continued. "I know things will be alright. I've seen it. He just needs a kick in his granite ass."

I laughed this time. "How am I supposed to do that, Alice? His body's pretty hard; I think I would break my foot." Rose handed the box to me. "Maybe this'll help."

I took it from her and slowly opened it. My eyes widened when I saw what was inside. _A vibrator?_ The girls were looking at me happily. "Um…" I trailed off.

"Silly Bella," Alice said rolling her eyes. "Once Edward sees you using this, he won't be able to stop. He'll have to make love to you. It's so sexy."

"And if he doesn't, then you shouldn't have to wait around for him," Rosalie chimed in. "I have one just like it."

I raised my eyebrows. "_You_ have a vibrator?" She nodded. "Sometimes a girl has to satisfy herself and the men don't always do it."

"But…but…" I spurted out. _She's a vampire. Aren't they always sexually satisfied?_

Alice shook her head. "No, not always. Now it's true we've each broken our share of these," she said, holding it up. "But this one looks pretty sturdy. I'm sure it'll work for a human."

"Alice!" I said. "I can't believe that vampires are talking about vibrators."

"Geez Bella, it's not like we're Puritans or something," Rosalie said. "We can enjoy sex as much as you."

I cocked my head and thought about what she said. She was right. Edward _seemed_ to enjoy it, but I'm only a human; it couldn't be the same as two vampires having sex. Besides, he has to hold himself back so not to kill me. _If I was immortal, he wouldn't have to worry. If I was immortal, he wouldn't have bruised me last time. And now I wouldn't be aching._

"Have you had any sexual contact since the incident?" Alice asked.

"You haven't seen?" I asked her, surprised. She shrugged. "I try to give you privacy."

"Well, I've pleasured him. At first he was hesitant but I told him that I needed to. He finally relented. I must say, pleasuring Edward makes me _so_ happy."

"How does he taste?" Rosalie asked. She took the vibrator and replaced it back in the box.

"Like honey and cream," I said. They groaned. "What?" I asked.

"Figures Edward would be like that," Rosalie grumbled. She looked at me. "Emmett tastes like lavender."

"What's wrong…" I started to say.

"I don't like the smell of lavender. It repulses me."

_I never knew that about Rosalie. I can't believe that she is talking to me like a girlfriend..and about sex no doubt! Has she finally gotten over herself?_

I thought back to Rosalie's actions towards me in the past. She was always cold and unwelcoming. She asked once when rogue vampires were chasing me what I was to her. Carlisle quickly put her in her place saying that I was family because I was with Edward.

I swallowed. _Family._ _Do they still think that? Even after the four-year separation? Can Edward and I really reach that point where we are a family? Where I will be accepted as one of them? Will I be one of them? _

There was a knock at the door. Rosalie quickly shut the box and put it to the side. "Come in," she shouted. Edward walked in.

"What's going on?" he asked. Alice smiled. He looked at her. "You are unbelievable! Shouldn't that be Bella's decision?"

"She didn't say she wouldn't take it," Alice said simply. He walked over and took my hand. He pulled me into a standing position. "Of course not, Alice. Bella's too nice for that. And what's worse is that Rosalie is involved in this as well." He started pulling me to the door. I resisted, it made no difference.

"Edward, wait," I said. He turned to me. "They are only trying to help. It's been ten weeks since we've made love. I'm dying!"

He looked at Alice and Rosalie. They were pretending to be busy looking at one of Jasper's old Civil War books. He lowered his voice. "Bella, I promised I wouldn't hurt you again."

"And you haven't. I know you won't hurt me, Edward. Isn't this hard for you?"

Alice and Rosalie looked up from the book. Edward sighed. "Yes. You have no idea how often I want to rip your clothes off and take you. But I'm scared. I know we made it through those two times, even though you came out scathed. I'm worried about next time. What if I don't stop? You tried to tell me and I was selfish; I didn't listen. And I bruised you."

I shook my head. "Edward, I tried telling you, yes, but I stopped when I saw your face." I brought my hand up and stroked his cheek. "You were so happy, so content. Your look amazed me and I realized that a little pain was worth making you happy. If it had bothered me, I would have made you stop. But Edward…" I stopped. I looked over at the girls; they quickly dropped their heads back into the book. "Your face was amazing," I said turning back to him.

"I lost control Bella." He sounded disgusted with himself. My hand moved and I ran a finger over his lips. "The look you had, Edward, was so aggressive and threatening. I wasn't afraid. If anything, I was turned on more. I know that's probably wrong, but when I saw you in that moment, the pain went away."

Rosalie snorted. Edward glared at her and opened the door. We walked out. He stood before me. "Do you think we can do it again?" he said skeptically.

I nodded with no hesitation. "Absolutely. I love you. I know you love me. I know you won't hurt me. I'm dying, Edward, but _you_ have to be ready. I can manage." I smiled, thinking about the vibrator the girls gave me. He was on the same page as he rolled his eyes at me. Then he gently pulled me into the living room to mingle with Esme and Emmett.

Later that night, I gave it a try. Edward had gone hunting and I knew he would be out for awhile. I sat down on my bed in my bra and panties and opened the box slowly. It was a decent size. _Not bad Alice,_ I thought. I picked it up and ran my fingers over it slowly.

I felt weird. I'd never done this before. _What if I don't like it? I don't know what I'm doing. Will I go too fast? Too slow? Maybe I should have someone show me…._

I rolled my eyes at how stupid I was being. It's just a piece of plastic, nothing to worry about. I took the batteries out of the box and popped them in. I turned the thing on and the humming started.

_Interesting._ I held it in my hand for a minute feeling the vibrations. I slowly brought it to my chest and ran it over my breast. My nipple perked at the contact, even under the clothing. The sensation was not what I expected. It felt good. I ran it over my other breast; same thing. I lay back on the pillows and slowly started exploring with it. After awhile, I removed my panties and ran it over my spot.

I gasped at the sensation, making me crave it some more. I slowly started working its way in. _I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm not going to stop._ I felt the vibration on my inside walls as it slowly entered. I ran it up and down, side to side. Then I found my spot and pressed it against it.

I threw my head back at the contact. Of course, it wasn't as good as the real thing, but I never imagined that the vibration could do so much. I was moaning and writhing. I slowly withdrew and pushed it back in, going deeper each time.

My release started bubbling up. I knew it wouldn't be long. I started pushing in and pulling out quickly, using my other hand on my clit to get me really worked up. I squeezed my eyes shut and pictured Edward. It came to the surface and I was close. I knew it was only another minute or so before my first experience with a vibrator was over.

I let out a loud groan as my muscles tensed up. My hand was moving at lightning-fast speed and my clit was engorged. I reached my peak….

And nothing happened. Nothing was in my hand. I felt my muscles relax and I slowly opened my eyes. _What the hell?_ I thought. _Why now?_ What I saw next made me draw in a breath quickly.

I was looking directly into black eyes; eyes out of control with lust.


	22. Edward's Experiment

I reached out to stroke his cheek and he moved away. I tried not to be hurt, but I was. Now he was withdrawing from me. Before I knew it, he would leave me.

He didn't move far. He took a step away from the bed and took a breath. Then he turned back to me. "Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded.

"You?"

He shook his head. "I went hunting to clear my head. I decided that we should give it another try. When I came back, I found you using this." He held the vibrator up. "It…turned me on. Majorly. And now I am ready…if you'll have me, Bella."

I smiled at him. "Always." I watched as he stripped before me. He made it slow so I could enjoy it. And boy did I! When he removed his boxers and stood before me, I had never seen anything more beautiful. And the fact that he was erect drove me mad.

"I also brought something home earlier," he said, giving me his crooked smile. I looked at him quizzically. "What?" I asked slowly.

He walked over to the dresser and removed a bag from one of his drawers. I heard something clink as he took it out of the bag. "What do you think?" he asked eagerly.

I stared at it hanging from his hand. _Handcuffs._ Edward had brought a pair of handcuffs home with him. I couldn't stop staring at them. Wait! "Did you get those from Charlie?"

He laughed. "Yes. I sneaked into his house this morning, before we went to see the family." _This morning!_ "I know, Bella. I had pretty much made up my mind before we went, but I needed the reassurance."

I smiled. "I thought you couldn't read my mind." He climbed on the bed and hovered over me, placing the handcuffs at my side. "Normally I can't, but sometimes you _are_ easy to read." He pressed a kiss to my lips. I groaned and wound my hands in his hair, pulling him to me. He deepened the kiss and his tongue mingled with mine. His cool hands started roaming my body, unhooking my bra and throwing it over his shoulder. One hand went to my spot, still aching for contact.

I hissed as he brushed over it. He chuckled against my lips. "Somebody's aroused," he said. He pulled away slightly to look at me. I nodded. "Yes, I am. You don't know what you do to me, Edward." I took the handcuffs. "But I've never used these before. It'll be a little awkward."

He grinned and looked down at my torso. If he could blush, he would have. "I-I-I was…" he was stumbling around for words.

"Edward, spit it out. You never have trouble articulating." His black eyes found mine and the words spilled from his mouth. "I was thinking _you_ could handcuff _me_." His hand brushed my spot again and I tried to make sense of what he was saying, which was difficult considering what he was doing.

"What?" I mumbled.

"I was thinking you could handcuff me. I would be at your mercy." He brought his lips to my neck. "You would be in charge," he murmured against them. His forefinger found my clit and he started rubbing circles on it.

My eyes rolled back in my head. "Don't…stop" I said to him. His cool finger never increased its pace nor did he leave my neck. Soon, though, I could feel my release coming. I gripped his arm that was by my side as my breathing grew ragged.

"Edward!" I cried. Now the pace grew and he pulled back to look at me. He circled my clit faster, flicking it with his thumb. I was writhing at the sensation, gripping him and the sheets as my release came. I exploded and I heard him snarl, his movements never wavering.

"You okay?" he asked after my heart slowed. I opened my eyes and nodded. The intensity from his eyes surprised me. He was completely in control, but the lust pouring from them was more than I'd ever seen before.

"That was such a turn on," he said. "I am so glad that I watched you. Knowing that I give you that pleasure makes me _so_ hard." He took my hand and gently pressed it against his shaft. I started stroking it, feeling how hard it was. He closed his eyes and shuddered.

I picked the handcuffs up and showed them to him. "Ready?" I asked. He opened his eyes and swallowed.

"Yes," he whispered. He gently climbed off of me and I moved off the bed. We reversed our positions. "I can feel your warmth on the pillow," he said, snuggling into it.

I smiled. "Good." I took his hand gently, being sure not to make any sudden movements. He was in control, but I didn't want to push it. I placed his hand in the open cuff and then attached it to the headboard. He tugged gently, making sure it was secure.

"I am at your service," he said with a smile. "What do you want to do?"

I brought my lips to his neck and started trailing kisses along his body. I stopped at his right nipple and ran circles over it with my tongue. He moaned loudly and writhed a bit. I glanced at him and he was watching me.

"Go on," he whispered. I ducked my head and started on his left nipple, running my hand down his torso. His body was cool, but I could feel my heat warming him. I continued to suck on his nipple, making it taut and hearing his moans increase. He even growled a few times.

When his breathing grew ragged, I stopped. I looked up at him; his face showed contentment. I reached up and kissed his lips softly.

"Bella," he murmured against them. I heard a clink as he tugged against the handcuffs.

"Careful," I teased, pulling away. I slowly crawled down to his manhood. It was pulsating with desire and I was craving the honey and cream. I ran my fingers over it slowly. He hissed and bucked his hips.

"Eager are we?" I asked. He opened his eyes and looked at me. "A little," he said. He watched as I wrapped my lips around the tip of his shaft and started sucking on it. Then I placed most of him in my mouth and started deep-throating him.

"Bella, don't do anything you're uncomfortable with," he said as I hit my gag reflex. His free hand gently stroked my hair.

"I'm okay," I said. I continued taking him in my mouth, humming a soft tune as the intensity of the pleasure increased. The vibration of it caused growls deep within his chest. I watched him writhe uncontrollably and heard his breathing grow heavy after a few minutes. His grip on my head tightened and for a split second, I was worried he would crush me. But that thought passed quickly. _That's what got us in trouble in the first place. I'm not about to tell him to stop._

"Bella!" he exclaimed as his orgasm hit. I felt the cool venom hit the back of my throat and then tasted cream followed a minute later by honey. I swallowed it greedily, not knowing how many more times we would do this.

His breathing regulated. I started stroking him quickly to harden him. He opened his eyes and looked at me quizzically.

I took his cool hand and placed it over my breast before he could speak. He started playing with it and very lightly ran his cool palm over my nipple. I moaned and stroked him harder.

Suddenly it was too much; I _needed_ to feel him inside me. I got into position and slowly lowered myself onto him. He threw his head back at the sensation and hissed, thrusting his hips in the process, yanking on the handcuff even more.

I started lifting up and setting myself back down on his shaft, slowly while he adjusted to the sensation. I felt myself stretch to accommodate him. His free hand gripped my hip and he matched my movements.

I couldn't escape the noises coming from my throat as we maintained a perfect rhythm. I bent backwards and gripped his thighs as he continued to thrust deep within me. _He is so good, he should never doubt that. He has reached my center. I can feel my orgasm starting. I hope he never wants to stop._

He looked into my eyes as the pressure mounted. They were the deepest black I'd ever seen.

"I love you," I said, gripping his thighs harder and riding him while my orgasm hit. I cried out and felt my legs turn to jelly underneath me.

He yanked harder on the handcuff; so hard it pulled out the rod. There was a THWANG as the rod went flying across the room. His other hand went to my hip and his grip intensified; so much it almost hurt. But the pleasure coursing through me as another orgasm hit negated the feeling. His orgasm hit at the same time and the two of us spent the next couple of moments in complete bliss.

I fell on top of him, my breasts smacking against his stone chest. His arms wrapped around me and he held me tightly against him as our breathing returned to normal. I felt the cold metal of the cuff against my back.

I felt his body rise a bit and looked up at him. The top of his head was squarely on the pillow and he was assessing the damage to the headboard. He moved his free hand from my back for a moment to run it over the spot where the metal was. He sighed and looked at me.

"Oops," he said sheepishly. I laughed and shrugged, laying my head back down on his chest. I felt him lower underneath me so that our bodies were again on an even plane. I started humming softly.

"Edward," I said after a moment. I raised my head to look at him. "That was amazing." He nodded. I watched his eyes melt from black to gold. I stroked his cheek gently. "Thank you."

He shook his head. "I should be thanking you for being willing to give it another go." He ran a cool finger over my lips. "You could have told me 'no,' should have told me 'no,' and you didn't. I wouldn't have blamed you if you had decided to never have sex with me again. I behaved horribly but it was only because I love you and can't stand the thought of hurting you."

I kissed his finger, still against my lips. "I know you do, Edward. For awhile there, your grip did intensify but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I think as long as we continue like this it'll be okay." He made a move to place his hand behind his head and hit his nose with his handcuff.

"Damn it!" he growled. I giggled as he crushed the metal like it was a cookie and dumped it on the bed. He looked at me, irritated.

"You think that's funny, huh?" His eyes darkened to bronze. I slowly nodded, unsure of what was about to happen. _Please don't lose your temper and ruin the moment._

In a flash he flipped us over; now he was on top. He brought his cool hands to my ribcage and started tickling me. "You'll pay for laughing at me," he said playfully. His eyes remained a bronze as I roared with laughter. I tried to get him back, but it was futile.

He grabbed my foot and tickled the underside of it, making me yank it out of his hand. I squealed as he grabbed the other one and I sat up to try and move his arms.

"Stop," I breathed. I was sore from laughing so hard. He just grinned at me. "Never!" he said and moved to attack my ribs. I was ready this time and blocked my most ticklish area. Then I managed to wrap my arms around him and tickle his back. He laughed lightly.

"Silly human strength," he said. He pressed his lips to mine and I wrapped my hands around his neck. That was my mistake. He went straight for my ribs, enjoying in my squeals as I tried to fight him off.

We rolled around on the bed for a good portion of the night trying to "one-up" each other with tickling. Needless to say, he won. Stupid vampire strength.


	23. Bella's Surprise

A week later we were vegging out at home. I had decided to take the day off and get some stuff done around the house. I needed to clean and shop for groceries. Little did I know that Edward, instead of helping me, would be the biggest distraction.

We had made love until late in the morning. I told him that I had a lot to do and he just smiled, nuzzling his cool nose behind my ear and started peppering kisses down my body. My agenda was quickly forgotten as he pleasured me twice.

I cleaned the apartment fast and Edward did decide to pitch in. He dusted while I vacuumed. He was working on mopping the bathroom floor while I went to the store. When I returned home, he was outside. The rainbow facets bounced off of him as he reached for the grocery bags. I was momentarily distracted by his beauty and dropped a bag, hearing glass break.

"Oops," he said with a smile. "Was I dazzling you?" I nodded. He chuckled.

After everything was put away I made myself a late lunch of tuna salad. In this recipe, I added chopped carrots and bits of egg along with the celery. Edward was instrumental in making sure I ate it all. Then I decided it was time for dessert. I don't normally, but I had this craving for ice cream. I took a big bowl out of the cupboard and scooped the butter brickle into it. It wasn't enough. I stood back and stared at it for a minute.

"Bella?" Edward called from the living room. He wanted to watch a special on Animal Planet about mountain lions. I yelled back at him as the idea hit me.

I walked to the refrigerator and took out whipped cream. I sprayed it on top of the ice cream and added a maraschino cherry. After retrieving a spoon, I went to join him.

His eyes grew wide when he saw what I had. "You're going to eat all _that_?" I shrugged. "I thought you wanted me to eat." I sat down and placed my feet on the coffee table.

He stared at me for a minute. "Are you pregnant?" I dropped my spoon and looked at him. "What?!" I shouted.

Edward held up his hands. "I only ask because you've been craving things lately. I know that generally my kind can't breed, but it _can_ happen. It's rare though. I was just worried that maybe that's what happened."

I placed the ice cream on the table and took his hand. "I'm not pregnant, Edward. Trust me. Women have cravings every so often. It happens. But if I _was_, would it be good or bad?" His golden eyes were full of concern.

"Depends. You'd probably be happy like a mother usually is when she's with child, but the pregnancy would be rough. It-it wouldn't be human, Bella. It would grow fast and probably kill you." He shuddered at the thought.

I stared at him. "Really?" He nodded. "I'm not saying this to scare you, but that's happened before. Like I said though, it's rare for vampires to breed and even rarer for a female human to carry it." He ran his hand through his hair. "Rosalie has wanted a baby for years but will never get one. Her ovaries are dead."

I took a bite of the quickly-melting ice cream and nodded. "Wouldn't your…'friends' be dead too?" I hated having this conversation.

He nodded. "It should be. I don't worry about that. But I do worry about the venom that gets injected. I know it shouldn't be dangerous unless you had a cut and it got into your bloodstream, but still." He noticed my discomfort and gently rubbed my back. "I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have said anything." He picked up my ice cream and started feeding me.

"It's okay," I said. I was glad that he was concerned. I started wondering what it would be like to carry Edward's child. I know he said it would be dangerous, but maybe not. _He does tend to overreact._ Maybe everything would be okay. After all, we had made love without much injury; maybe this would be the same. I shivered as his cool thumb brushed my nose.

I reached into the bowl and picked up a dollop of whipped cream. I swiped it on his nose. His eyes crossed as he looked at it. I giggled.

"Oops," I said, imitating him from earlier. His tongue reached up and he licked it off. My jaw dropped. _Oh my God! He can do THAT with his tongue? How long is it?_ He made a face at the taste and wiped the rest off.

"Disgusting."

I chuckled. He looked at me. "What?" I shook my head. "I didn't know you could do that with your tongue. How long is it?" He smiled. "Like it? It's long enough to work its way inside you," he said. Then he looked at the bowl of butter brickle soup. "How can you eat this stuff?"

I picked up the bowl and started walking to the kitchen; he followed. "Not everything can be as appetizing as animals," I teased. Which reminded me. "What are you eating while you're here? You can't go out in the sunlight, so what do you do?"

He pressed me against the sink and started placing kisses down my neck. "I manage," he said. I shook my head. "What do you eat?" He sighed. "A variety of things; squirrels, strays, an occasional trip to the zoo." His extra-long tongue swiped the skin on my shoulder. I moaned loudly and felt his manhood harden against my back. "I just worry that you're depriving yourself because you stay here." He swept my hair to my other shoulder. "Maybe you should go further away when hunting." His breathing had intensified.

He stopped and pulled back slightly. He looked at me. "Bella, I'm not going to hurt you." I shook my head. "I know that. I know that if your control wanes you'll leave. I'm just worried about your health." I turned around so I was facing him. He smiled. "I'm okay, love. When I have to, I'll hunt. That's all you need to worry about." He looked at the clock in the kitchen. "Show's on!" He turned and walked into the next room.

I joined him after cleaning up. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to him. He watched the show with interest and I watched him.

_He seems like a kid right now. A kid fascinated by a shiny new toy._ I took his free hand and kissed it. He turned to me and smiled.

"I love you," he said, moving his cool hand to stroke my cheek.

"I love you too," I said leaning into his touch. We watched the rest of the show in silence. When it was over, he changed channels. He flipped through them so fast my eyes hurt. He finally settled on _The Breakfast Club._

We watched the movie in comfortable silence. Then something came to me. I looked at him. "What happened to Jeremy?" I know that I had asked him once before, but since so much time had passed I wondered if he'd tell me.

He glanced at me. "You don't want to know," he said. I sighed and took his hand again. "Thank you." He turned his head now to look at me. "For what?"

"Keeping me safe." He smiled and squeezed my hand gently. Then he turned back to the movie. I suddenly had to use the bathroom and quickly got up. _It must be nice to never have to have THIS hassle_.

He was emerging from the bedroom as I returned to the couch. He sat down and held out a velvet box to me. I raised my eyebrows at him. He shut the television off.

"What…" I started to ask. His eyes glowed with love. "Your birthday's coming up. I know that you don't like presents, but I thought I'd try." He looked down at the box and then at me. "Open it."

With shaking hands, I did. Inside it laid a beautiful sapphire and diamond necklace. My jaw dropped. "Edward…" I said. He leaned over and placed a kiss at my temple.

"Happy early birthday," he whispered. He took it out of the box and gestured for me to turn around. I did and he fastened it behind my neck. Then he slowly ran a cool hand down my neck and spine. I shuddered.

"When did you get this? You can't go outside in the sunlight." He smiled. "Bella, there _are_ overcast days in Los Angeles. I got it one day while it was cloudy and you were at work." He looked at it. "It looks beautiful on you. The blue really glows against your pale skin." He leaned forward and kissed me.

"Thank you," I murmured against his lips. "I really do love it." He pulled back and looked deep into my eyes. "Will you marry me?"

It didn't register at first, but when it did I started laughing. He made a face. "What's so funny?" I shook my head. "Good joke." He stood up, moved the coffee table out of the way and knelt before me. "I'm not joking, Bella." He took both my hands in his. "Marry me?"

His golden eyes glowed with love. He meant every word. "What?" I asked. He ran his hand through his hair. "It may be too soon. I understand that. I know I haven't been back in your life for too long. But I love you, Bella. And now that I know we can be intimate and not risk serious injury, I don't have to worry." He straightened so he was on his knees and pressed a kiss to my lips gently.

I shook my head. "It's too soon." He smiled and stood up. "I wasn't sure." He sat down again and looked at me. "Will you marry me someday?"

I nodded. _I love him. I want him. It's okay. We'll be okay._ "Are you okay?" he asked, sensing my mood. He pulled me onto his lap. "I'm fine. Just as long as you will marry me someday, I am happy with waiting." He pressed his lips to my temple. "I have an eternity to wait."

When his words registered, I thought back to when I was sitting with Rosalie and Alice. They seemed to assume I would be one of them someday. "Are you planning on changing me?" He pulled back and looked at me.

"What?"

I shrugged. "I got the impression from your sisters that I might be immortal one day. I was just wondering…." I trailed off. I felt myself blush.

"Is that what _you_ want, Bella? To become a monster?" I looked him square in the eye. "To never leave you, yes. To have you always by my side." He sighed. "I mean, when you proposed marriage I thought maybe…." I was worried that I pushed my luck. His golden eyes darkened.

"I'll think about it." His tone told me that was the end of this conversation. I snuggled up against him and we returned to our television viewing.

Awhile later I felt my eyelids growing heavy. The contentment I felt combined with hearing his breathing and feeling his cool chest under my ear helped me fall asleep. He placed me in bed and pulled the covers up. I grabbed his hand before he moved away.

"Stay with me." He lay down next to me. "I'm glad you agreed to marry me. I won't push, but I am overjoyed," he said into my hair. He wrapped an arm around me.

I smiled and snuggled into his chest. I yawned. "I don't think Rosalie would be too happy if I joined the family." He stroked my hair. "I don't care what she thinks. Besides, in case you hadn't noticed, she's warmed up to you. She doesn't give a vibrator to just anyone."

I giggled. "Why did she hate me?" He sighed. "She doesn't hate you; she was just never given a choice as to whether she wanted to be a vampire or not; none of us were. She can't understand that you would choose this."

I snuggled closer and wrapped a leg around his. "What happened to her?"

"Not my story to tell." I looked up at him. He shrugged. "Ask her next time you see her. She'll tell you."

_The next time you see her._ "So there will be a next time?"

"Of course." I smiled and reached up to kiss his lips. He pulled me closer. "When should we visit Charlie?"

That caught me off-guard. "What?"

He continued stroking my hair. "Well, we saw my family. Shouldn't we pay a visit to yours?" I shook my head, which was hard to do considering it was lying on a pillow. "Dad wasn't too happy about you leaving me. I think he'd probably go ballistic."

He sighed. "All the more reason to see him. If we are going to wed someday, I don't want it coming out of left-field."

_He's right._ "Okay, we'll visit dad, but not yet. We didn't part well." I yawned and closed my eyes. I had almost drifted off when he asked "how long have you lived on your own, Bella?"

"Since college," I mumbled. "I came down here to go to UCLA. I spent one year in the dorms and then moved into this duplex. Charlie wasn't happy about it, but he knew the alternative was me moping around missing you. He let me go. He knows I'm happy now. I like it here." He pressed his lips to the top of my head.

"Sleep, love. I'll be here when you wake up. I'll be here forever."

_Forever._ I liked the sound of that.

*****

**A/N**: No, Bella does not get pregnant in this. But the conversation had to come up sometime.

Thanks for reading. Please review!


	24. Rosalie

**A/N**: There is a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter.

********

"Tell us, Bella!" Rosalie exclaimed as we sat down in the food court. She and Alice had come to Los Angeles to visit Edward and me a month later. It was now early October. My birthday had passed without much of a whisper. Edward gave me a few gifts which I accepted and he even made a cake for me. Yes, made. He has taken up baking so he won't be so bored. Every day I am taking things to work to share; I can't possibly eat it all!

I sighed. "Yes, he's very good. He's the best I've ever had but I don't think he believes that." I hated telling them about my sex life, but I knew they wanted to know. I know that it's hard for them since we don't see them all the time. But all Alice has to do is meddle and she will see how things are going.

And truthfully, things were great. He is gaining more control all the time.

Rosalie smiled. "I'm glad to hear that. It's about time my brother started getting some."

"Rosalie!" I exclaimed. Alice shook her head.

"She's right. Edward's always been uptight. Now, though, he seems to be more laid-back. He should have gotten laid years ago."

My jaw dropped. When she realized how that sounded, she turned to me. "I'm _so_ sorry, Bella. I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad he found you and that you are the one he gave his virginity to. But sometimes I wonder what would have happened if…" she trailed off.

I held up my hand. "It's okay, Alice. I understand what you're saying. And personally, I'm glad he waited. I hate thinking that some other woman may have pleasured him."

Both of them shook their heads. "We can guarantee that hasn't happened," Rose said. Then she looked around. "Shouldn't you get something to eat?"

I nodded and stood up. I quickly walked to the pizza place and ordered two slices of cheese and a diet Pepsi. I thought back to Edward's comment _"you've been craving things lately._" Yes, I have been, cheese pizza especially. _Pregnant my ass!_

After returning to my seat Alice spoke up. "I couldn't believe he asked you that." I looked at her quizzically. "If you were pregnant." I groaned and took a bite of the pizza. "He had a right to ask. I mean, we _are_ having sex."

Rosalie shook her head. "It is extremely rare for a human to conceive a vampire's baby. He _knows_ that. Plus, you're on birth control; you've shown it to him. So why he had to ask that asinine question is beyond me."

I sipped my drink. "Maybe he wishes he could have children." They looked at each other. "May-be," Alice said slowly. "I never thought about that before, Rose. He's never expressed an interest."

I shrugged. "Well, he can't. So why bring it up?" I finished off the first slice and started on the second.

Alice stared at me. "Bella, what _is_ up with the cravings?" I rolled my eyes, annoyed.

"I don't know, Alice. Humans have cravings. Don't you crave certain types of blood?"

Rose nodded. "She's right. Every few months I crave coyote blood. It's not that far off." I gestured and continued eating.

They watched me in silence as I finished it off and my drink as well. When it was done, Alice picked my trash up and took it away. I watched her, confused.

"She wants something," I said. Rosalie laughed. "Bella, you know us too well." I turned to her. "I don't really know you, Rose. You used to hate me. What happened?"

She sighed. "I never really _hated_ you, Bella; I just didn't understand. This is not a life I would have chosen and seeing that you wanted that four plus years ago upset me. I didn't understand it."

"But she does now," Alice said, resuming her seat. "Seeing how broken Edward was during that time made her realize how important you are to him…to all of us." Alice started fiddling with her purse. "He was so miserable, Bella. He spent some time with us, but then he wanted to be alone. I always watched him to make sure he was okay. Every day he grew more and more depressed. For awhile he stopped hunting; as though he was trying to starve himself. And then I told him about you."

I swallowed hard.

"I told him what happened to you, that you became, to use your words, an 'unpaid whore.' He was devastated that he drove you to that and that's when he decided to find you, to be with you again. But first he had to work on his control. And work he did. And now look at him…look at you." The smile on her face was huge.

"Amazing what a little sex does, huh?" Rose asked, gently punching my arm. I shook my head.

"Why is it every time I see you two now we talk about sex?"

They laughed. "Because it's important, Bella," Alice said. "We can give you tips and you _need_ girl talk. He's our brother, we want him happy. Plus, I can see the future, remember? You're going to be with Edward forever. You might get bored with the same thing." She stood up and we followed. We started walking towards the nearest department store. "He won't, of course, but you might. We have _years_ of experience we're willing to share."

Then she laughed. "Funny, isn't it Bella? You used men for power, not love. He hurt you so much that you wanted revenge. Love was the last thing you wanted. And love won. You are equals."

I shook my head. "He has the power now Alice. He's the one who makes the call when and if we will have sex. I don't want to push him so I let him lead. Sometimes it kills me."

"You can take the lead sometimes," Rosalie said. "Trust me; I'm sure Edward would be pleased if you attacked him one day. I'd bet Emmett's life on it that he wouldn't complain."

I bristled. "I _have_ taken the lead. The first time I pleasured him was _my_ idea. He simply agreed. And the car too. _That_ was my idea."

Alice nodded. "See? Yes, he needs to watch his control, but he's better now. I'm sure he can make love to you and his eyes not change at all. Mind over matter."

"Really?" I asked her skeptically.

Rosalie nodded as well and tossed her blond hair over her shoulder. At that moment, two mall rats walked by and wolf-whistled at her. She turned and blew them a kiss. The tall one's jaw dropped and the shorter one walked into a wall. She laughed and we entered a store.

Alice walked straight to the lingerie section. "We are going to sex you up, Bella. When Edward sees you in some of this stuff, he won't resist."

I laughed. "That's what you said about the vibrator." Rose nodded. "It worked, didn't it?"

I blushed. "Yeah."

The two of them looked at some of the items on the racks. We finally agreed on a black silk nightgown and one with blue lace. They weren't too frilly, so I didn't have a problem wearing them. _I'm sure he'll just rip them to shreds anyways._

Alice nodded. I had said that out loud. "The blue one, yes. You end up wearing that on Halloween." I glared at her. She held up her hands. "Sorry, Bella."

Rose rolled her eyes and picked up a red lace nightgown for herself. After purchasing our items, we continued through the store.

We stopped in the clothing section. I wanted a new pair of skinny jeans and some flirty blouses. After an hour there, we left the store and continued our assault of the mall.

I generally hate shopping but Rosalie and Alice made it fun. I really didn't mind the sex talk. It was great having girlfriends to converse about this with. Most of the women I associate with are work colleagues; I wouldn't _think_ about this conversation with them.

Wait a minute—

"Alice, you said I'll be with Edward _forever_. What did you mean by that?" The two of them glanced at each other and then back at me. "Is he planning on changing me?"

Alice shrugged. "Ever since you had that conversation, he's been considering it. But he's unsure. He doesn't want you to lose your soul, but he can't stand the thought of losing you again. He's…conflicted." Suddenly _I'm Too Sexy_ started playing on Rosalie's phone.

She pulled it out and glared at it. Then she hit 'ignore.' "Emmett," she said, rolling her eyes. I laughed. "That's his ringtone?"

"He chose it," she spat. "He wants us to pick up a movie when we head back. Why he couldn't have text it, I don't know."

I shook my head. "I love the ringtone." Alice laughed and pulled hers out. She quickly scrolled and hit 'Jasper.' _Can't Take My Eyes Off of You_ by Muse started.

"Aw!" I said. Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I'm going to change Emmett's." She smirked and started punching the buttons on her Blackberry. _Monsters_ by Hurricane Bells started up. "That'll kill him," she said with a laugh.

"What's Edward's?" Alice asked me eagerly. I sighed and pulled mine out. _I Knew I Loved You_ by Savage Garden started. She smiled. "Yeah, it's an old one," I said.

"That doesn't matter. It's the truth." She linked her cool arm through mine. I gasped and looked at her. Her smile grew wider.

The three of us walked in silence for awhile. My mind was swimming with what Alice had said. _He wants me, forever. An eternity of Edward. An eternity of continuing to please him and love him. Like it always should have been. Do I want that? Can I handle immortality? I want him, always. But immortality? Watching my parents eventually die? Not knowing what the world will bring? But knowing it'll be okay as long as Edward is by my side…._

Alice drew in a breath sharply and stopped. We turned to look at her. "Alice?" Rose asked gently, placing her hand on her shoulder.

She remained still as stone. I noticed a few other patrons glancing at us curiously. "Maybe we should…" I started to say.

"NO!" Alice shouted. Whatever she saw startled her so much that she started shaking. Other people looked in our direction. Rosalie tugged on her shoulder and Alice went to a nearby bench to sit down. We joined her.

I was really worried. I had never seen Alice act this before. She's had visions, yes, but never shaking like she was now.

She looked at me hard. "Bella, I see Edward. He may make a grave mistake if you are not on your toes." My blood ran cold at her words. I heard Rosalie draw in a sharp breath.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked her. She took my hand. "You two will decide to take a shower together. It will get _very_ heated, if you know what I mean. He…loses control."

I swallowed.

"Go on," Rosalie said.

"I'm telling you this so you'll be on guard. Remember to speak up. I know in the past there have been a couple of times when he's gotten close to hurting you and you don't say anything. I understand why; it's not a big deal. But this _is._ I see the devastation in his eyes when he realizes what he's done. He holds your limp body, drained of blood, while his black eyes cry tears that will never fall. He's rocking back and forth, trying to recover from the shock of what happened. He's berating himself; he can't believe he did it. He's holding you tightly, gently kissing your ghost-white lips and telling you he loves you…Oh God!" She let go of my hand and placed her head in hers.

"What?" Rose and I asked at the same time.

"Because he's so disgusted at what he's become, he goes to Forks and provokes the wolves. They…tear him apart. Oh Edward!" I reached out and stroked her back.

"Can it be changed?" Rose asked. Alice nodded.

"Yes. Just be sure to say something. He'll snap out of it then."

I crossed my legs uncomfortably. "Maybe we should just stop having sex if it's…"

"No!" Rosalie said sharply. We both looked at her. "No, Bella," she said, her features softening. "You guys have had no problems in the past. It'll be okay. Just communicate with him."

"He craves it as much as you do. It would kill him to stop," Alice said, taking my hand again. "I don't know if it's possible, but he loves you more now than he did. He knows what _true_ pleasure and _true_ happiness is, Bella. Are you going to take that away from him?"

I hesitated, letting her words sink in. Then I shook my head slowly.

She smiled. "Good."

_Monsters_ started playing on Rosalie's phone. She groaned and answered it. "Yes, we're leaving now. Okay…okay…bye." She hung up and turned to me. "Em says 'hi.'"

I smiled. "Hi."

Alice stood up and picked up her things. "I'm sorry to put such a damper on the day. Just remember what I said, Bella, and you'll be fine. He loves you; _never_ doubt that."

I nodded. We walked to the car in silence and didn't speak as they drove to my apartment. I thought about what Alice said; that he would lose control but it could be prevented. That he's considering changing me, that way he won't have to worry about hurting me. I know he loves me. I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt me. We are one, complete. Without the other, we can't function.

We said goodbye and I headed inside, straight to a pair of open and waiting arms.


	25. Alice's Vision

I turned the water on and let it run for a minute before stripping out of my robe and slipping into the shower. I was assaulted with the smell of something cinnamon and realized that Edward's coffee cake was almost done. I chuckled to myself as I stepped under the water.

_A vampire who bakes. Get a load of that!_ I closed my eyes and let the hot water run down my body. I smoothed my hair back and reached for my shampoo. The smell of strawberries wafted out as I started lathering and massaging my scalp. It felt so good that I let out a soft moan. My mind started to wander.

I thought back to last night and the conversation with Alice on the phone. Since the Cullens were now back in my life Alice has made a point of staying in regular contact. She wants to know everything that goes on in my life. And I mean _everything_. She wanted to know about the men of my past, how Edward was at kissing and what type of music I like. Totally random stuff. We were reconnecting and it felt great! Even Rosalie has changed. She sent me a text a few days ago telling me to not sell myself short. She said that although I don't see it, I really am beautiful and have a man who adores me. Rosalie! I guess a cat can change its stripes.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I jumped a mile when I felt a cool hand on my shoulder. I yelped and opened my eyes. Edward had joined me. All I could do was stare at his gorgeous body as it got wet. His out-of-control hair was being matted down and making a cute frame around his face.

"You okay?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yes, sorry. I was just lost in my thoughts." I made a point of looking him up and down. He smiled. "Edward, you look amazing wet."

He reached out and stroked my cheek. "So do you." He leaned over and kissed me softly. When he pulled back, he picked up the soap. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"The hell you didn't," I said with a smile. I took the soap from him and started washing my neck and down my body. "What made you decide to join me?"

He shrugged, his eyes fixated on my chest. "I've wanted to for awhile, but I didn't know how you would feel about it." I turned around and let the water hit me.

"And now?"

He pressed up against me. His cool lips started kissing across my shoulder. "Now I'm glad I waited." I closed my eyes and shuddered at the feel of his cool lips and the hot water. He placed a hand on my hip.

"Do you want me to stop?" he whispered in my ear. I shook my head no slowly. He chuckled and kissed my temple.

I had an idea. I turned around to face him and pushed him back a bit. He looked at me quizzically. I thought back to Rosalie's words _"I'm sure he would be pleased if you attacked him._" I placed a hand on his chest to steady myself and lowered onto my knees, keeping eye contact with him.

His golden eyes grew wide when he realized what I was about to do. I gently wrapped my hand around his manhood and started stroking slowly, never leaving his eyes. I wanted to make sure he was okay with this. I could hear his breathing change and he closed his eyes.

Since he was receptive, I placed him in my mouth and heard him hiss. He placed his hand on my head gently and started stroking my wet hair as I started sucking. The water created a nice lubricant and my mouth moved back and forth smoothly. I very gently closed my teeth around him and he growled.

"Bella," he said hoarsely. "You have _no_ idea what you do to me." I increased my movements and he increased his noises. I felt the spray of the water fall on my head and felt it run down my breasts and back, but all I could care about was the gorgeous man in front of me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and gently massaged his buttocks.

He placed his other hand on the wall to steady himself and continued stroking my hair. I heard his breathing grow ragged and his stone body was starting to shake. He was moaning and groaning, gently thrusting his hips towards me and matching my movements.

I removed one hand from behind him and wrapped it around his shaft, my mouth never faltering. I gripped tightly and increased my speed. His grip on my head tightened slightly. I suddenly remembered Alice's words _"just be sure to say something."_ Well, he wasn't hurting me at all. The grip on my head felt the same as when a guy like Jacob was starting to come undone. I was annoyed that Alice's words came back to me now. the last thing I wanted was to be reminded of that conversation when there are more important things to do…like give Edward the best oral sex he's ever had.

He tensed up for a moment and let out a snarl as his orgasm hit, throwing his head back. I tasted the honey and cream and lapped it up, not wanting the water to wash it away. I continued to stroke him a few times and watched as his body relaxed and his head slowly came forward. His hand on the wall left a slight imprint. His breathing returned to normal and he opened his eyes, looking down at me. They were black, animalistic. He was a predator and looking at me like prey.

I had to get up fast to give him room but they wouldn't move. I placed my hand on the wall to steady myself and started to rise up….

Suddenly my back was against the cool tile, Edward's body pressed against me. In a span of a second he had lifted me up and moved me. His mouth covered my left breast hungrily and his hands roamed the length of my body. One started rubbing my clit, sending sparks throughout me. His other hand lifted my hip and placed it against the wall to steady me. He pressed against me, letting me feel the hardness of his manhood, all the while his mouth never leaving my breast.

I closed my eyes and moaned at the sensation, the hot water now falling on his back. My noises spurned him on and he increased the pressure of his hand. I squirmed against him and pulled him closer. He turned his attention to my other breast, licking and sucking on it while I wound my hands in his hair. It was tangled due to the water but I managed to run my hands through it. I ground against him, wanting to feel his hardness at the point screaming for contact. He increased the pressure of his mouth on my breast in response. _I need him_.

"Fuck me," I said.

With a growl he lined himself up and gently pushed his way in, the water making things quite slick. He kissed me passionately, hungrily and wound an arm around my back to steady me. I wrapped my legs around him and he continued to press me against the wall, his movements fast and hard. He needed this as much as I did.

"So good," he said against my lips. I hummed in response and pulled his mouth closer to mine. He placed a hand against the wall to steady himself and continued to thrust, pulling out completely and pushing back in.

I could feel my breasts bouncing up and down due to the position we were in. I didn't care. His breathing was growing erratic and his lips never left mine. I finally pulled away for air and he kissed my collarbone. I ran a hand down his back and then gripped his buttocks again, driving him deeper. He was at my center; I could feel him rubbing my spot. I moaned loudly and felt the pressure building. He met my eyes and I could see the animal in him. The blackness of his eyes should have been frightening; but instead it spurned me on even more. _I love that I am doing this to him. I love the animalistic side of him._

"I love you," he said. He kissed me forcefully. His tongue mingled with mine and I bit on his bottom lip gently. He growled and turned his head slightly, deepening it.

The electricity flowing through us lit both of us on fire. I could feel his body warming. Whether it was due to my body heat or the shower water I don't know, but he was definitely heated. I released his buttocks and gripped the shower head for support as he placed his hands on my ribcage.

"Edward," I panted. "Never stop." He pressed against me harder. "Never," he growled. The water was really making things difficult now and I was having a hard time holding on to anything.

He moved a hand to my hip to steady me as I reached my release. My legs felt like jelly and he could hear my heart beating wildly. He groaned loudly and thrusted harder than before, moving his other hand to pinch my nipple. It was what I needed. I threw my head back and cried out as my orgasm overtook me. His pace never waned and caused another one to follow immediately.

I felt his grip tighten as he tensed up during my high, his manhood twitching inside me; he was ready to explode. I gently nibbled his ear, wanting the two of us to orgasm together. He snarled loudly and slammed my head against the wall. Before I knew what was happening, I felt something sharp digging into my neck. I didn't recognize it as he was causing the pressure to build again, my third one, so I just moaned his name loudly; I know he enjoys hearing it.

Suddenly I was on my feet and he had let go of me. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at him. His eyes were still black but they were full of fear. His mouth had something red on it and he was visibly trembling.

"Edward?" I asked, reaching for him. He backed away from me. Hurt and rejection washed through me; I didn't understand what was going on.

"What…" I started to say when his cool hand covered my neck. He pulled it back and there was blood on his fingers. I gasped when I saw it and looked at him. _That's what's on his mouth. He lost control and went for my neck. But he stopped._ "I'm okay," I said, trying to reassure him. Really, I was.

He tore the curtain getting out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around him and looked at me. "Bella, I bit you. I almost killed you. You are not fine," he spat.

I shut the water off, now completely aware of the burning and throbbing in my neck. I reached for another towel on the rack and stepped onto the mat. I dried quickly, noticing I was alone. His towel was a lump on the floor. I sighed and walked into the bedroom.

He wasn't there. I noticed a drawer left open so I knew he had gotten dressed. I walked throughout the entire apartment and couldn't find him. I immediately started to worry.

Edward was gone.

The hammock was swaying slightly but there was no wind. He must have brushed up against it leaving. The coffee cake was cooling on the counter.

_He probably is beating himself up. He'll be back soon._ I returned to the bathroom to dry my hair and dress. I examined my neck and saw the blood was clotting. It would look like a cut only. I placed a gauze bandage on it and went back into the bedroom. I pulled out a pashmina to cover it with.

I heard my phone beeping sometime later and saw a missed call from Alice. I sighed and called her back. "Yes, Alice. You saw what happened. You warned me and I was too caught up in the moment. But he stopped." I sat down on the couch.

She was silent for a minute. "Yes, he did. He has more control than I thought. He did good."

"Where is he?"

"Safe. He'll be back after he finishes berating himself." I rolled my eyes. "Alice, can you please tell him that I'm okay? The blood has stopped and I don't blame him. If anything, he should be proud of himself. He regained control. He stopped. Please, I just want him back."

"It will take him awhile to get over this. Bella, I think it's best if he comes home to Forks for bit."

I froze. "What?"

She sighed. "Not permanently, just until he gets over this. I've seen what will happen if he stays there. He will see the mark he left on you and each day will be as bad as the first. He'll annoy the crap out of you with apologizing and probably won't be intimate for quite some time. You will grow to resent him and eventually find someone else to get your kicks while he wallows in self-pity. That someone else is Jacob. You revert back to your old ways and end up hurting Edward more than he's ever hurt you."

I gasped. "I could never do that to Edward." I heard her shrug over the phone. "If he stays with us we can help him. We'll show him that you're okay. You _can_ talk to him on the phone; I'm sure he'll need to hear your voice to remain sane. It won't take as long for him to recover from his mistake; a month tops. He needs his family."

I shook my head as though she was able to see it. "I need my soul. I'm nothing without him, Alice. Nothing!" I didn't realize that I was shouting.

"Breathe, Bella," she said calmly. "He needs you too. Your 'souls' will be reunited soon. Just give him time."

I noticed the inflection she used on "souls." _So much for the power I used to have._ I sighed, resigned. "Okay. Just tell him I love him and to call when he gets a chance."

"He will, Bella. Everything will be okay. Trust me."

I hung up and collapsed on the couch, weeping. I don't know how much time I spent there, but it was dark before I finally moved. I changed and climbed into bed, feeling completely rejected...completely useless.

The hole in my chest has returned. Once again, I was broken.

********

**A/N**: Thanks for reading! Please review.


	26. Charlie

**A/N**: There was some confusion about Edward's venom from the last chapter. This should explain it. And wait until you see what the special guest does!

Thanks for reading! Please review!

********

"I miss you."

"I miss you too." My heart was heavy.

"I'll see you soon."

"Yes. Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas, love."

I hung up the phone and sighed. It has been seven weeks since the incident in the shower. Edward is regaining his confidence. It was great for him to be with his family; they have taken care of him. And I have been comforted in the fact that we will be reunited soon. We talk on the phone everyday and he has had flowers delivered to me at work for the past week, no doubt Alice's doing. But it's still nice. It shows he cares and he's sorry for what happened.

But he doesn't have to be. I don't hold anything against him. What happened was a result of his nature; he can't help it. The important thing is that he stopped. He _stopped_. He has more control than he thinks. He could have easily sunk his teeth in and let the venom spread. I would be immortal right now instead of sitting in Charlie's living room enjoying the holiday. He told me it's his job to protect me and that's just what he did. He saved me.

I went to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water out from the refrigerator. I sat in the window seat and looked out at the snow, remembering that day in early November and how it played out. Edward joined me in the shower. I pleasured him orally. He made wild love to me and lost control, pressing his teeth to my neck. He pulled back and left.

I saw Carlisle the next day; he examined me to make sure I was safe. He gave me a shot and some medicine to cover the crescent mark on my neck. He told me it would probably result in a scar, but it would fade with time. I understood; I still had the bite on my wrist from James; that would never completely go away. Course, he had managed to chew on me longer. And Edward saved me then, too.

"What happened with the venom, Carlisle? Shouldn't I be changed?"

He glanced at me and finished placing the gauze pad on my neck before he spoke. "No, only a few drops got in." His touch was gentle, loving. "Edward stopped immediately. Had he not, you would be writhing in pain right now. But he loves you and can't bear to hurt you." He placed his utensils back in his bag and turned back to me. "You've ingested more venom orally than what happened yesterday."

I blushed, embarrassed. I know that Carlisle knew about our sex life, but hearing it confirmed is something else. He reached his hand out and brushed my cheek gently. "Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you." His fingers were cool.

I shook my head. "It's okay. You're a doctor, you know what happens. You also have a psychic in the family so of course you're going to see things."

He smiled and nodded. Carlisle was too much of a gentleman to comment on our sex life as anything other than a doctor. For that, I was grateful. I continued. "Edward did say he was worried about his venom in my body."

His eyes were kind. "You should be okay as long as it's not a cut. And the venom that did get in wasn't enough." He picked his bag up and started to walk out, his eyes falling on something. He chuckled softly. I followed the direction his eyes were looking and saw a torn piece of blue lace stuck on the vent. How it got there, I have _no_ idea. I blushed again, remembering that two nights before the shower incident Edward had ripped that nightgown off me getting to my breasts. It wasn't on Halloween, as Alice had predicted, but she was still right. And the sex was mind-blowing that night.

He smiled at me and stroked my cheek again, trying to comfort me. "Everything will be okay."

I nodded and led him to the door. Then I remembered something. "So what about the venom that _did_ get in? What happens to it?" He walked through the threshold and turned around. "The shot I gave you should nuke whatever is in your bloodstream. You may have a fever for a day or so as it works, but after that you'll be fine."

I nodded. _All this for a little bite mark._ "You should be able to take the bandage off in a few days. It will fade quickly and all you'll have is a scar."

"Thank you, Carlisle. And please, tell Edward I love him." He nodded and left.

I sighed. The last seven weeks have been excruciating without him. I received a promotion at work and couldn't share my joy with him. I told him, of course, but I wanted to go out and celebrate. It's hard for him too. It was like he was an addict and locked away in rehab for an undisclosed amount of time before we could see each other again.

The hole in my chest has closed significantly. It is still there and will be until he's back, but knowing he is a phone call away has helped cheer me up. And Alice has been a wonderful friend in trying to make sure the two of us are ready to come together again. I just hope this next time he doesn't leave again. Two times is enough for me.

There was a loud bang and the front door swung open. I jumped and turned around to see Charlie dragging a Christmas tree in. He was being assisted by Jacob Black. I groaned, forgetting that he was back in Forks for the holiday. I hadn't spoken to him since the last time he was in my apartment. The time he gloated that he had slept with me when Edward hadn't. If only I had let him know that it didn't mean anything to me; that it was a power trip. Maybe I will now….

"Hi, Bells," Charlie said.

"Can I help, dad?" I asked, getting up from the window seat. He shook his head. "Not right now, but you and Jacob can decorate later."

I nodded and looked at him. He smiled warmly. "Hi, Bella."

"Hi."

Charlie put the tree down and Jacob followed his lead. "That's good for now. I'll start working on it a little later." He unzipped his coat and hung it up. Then he started untying his boots. "Bells, Jacob will be here for lunch."

_Great._ "I'll go start it, then." I turned and walked into the kitchen without another word and started pulling things out of the refrigerator. Sandwiches were the easiest to make, but after being out in the cold I'm sure they'll want something warm. I pulled a pan out and started preparing soup.

Jacob came in after a minute, leaning against the counter and watching me. I ignored him as I didn't want to lose track of what I was doing and started the burner. While it was heating, I turned my attention to the sandwiches.

"How have you been?" he asked me. I started lathering the bread with mayonnaise. "Fine," I replied. "You?"

"Good. Finals kicked my ass, but that's typical." I chuckled. "How's Edward?"

I stiffened. I refused to look at him. "Good."

"I'm surprised he's not here, surprised he'd let you out of his sight." He walked over and stood next to me, a little too close for my liking.

I shrugged. "He has a family, too. He's with them." He was quiet for a minute while I continued to work. I made the sandwiches and placed them on plates. I turned back to the soup when Jacob spoke.

"What happened to your neck?"

I tensed. _The treaty._ The treaty said that if any Cullen bit a human the wolves would go after them. But it didn't happen anywhere near Forks and there's no way I would allow Jacob to lay a finger on Edward.

"Why do you think something happened to it?" I poured the soup in the pan and started stirring it.

He moved closer. "Bella, I have never known you to wear scarves for fashion." He extended his hand to move the scarf. I smacked it away, but it was too late. His eyes grew wide.

"A girl can change," I said trying to cover it up. I stirred the soup and turned the heat down a bit.

"Did Edward do that?" he asked cautiously. I could hear the anger in his tone. I looked at him. "What does it matter?"

He crossed his arms against his chest. "It matters, Bella, because he knows that's a key point of the treaty. If any of them bites a human, we can reveal what they are. And kill them."

_You'd like that, wouldn't you?_ I turned to him. "That's only if it happens here." I pointed at my neck. "This happened in LA and has _nothing_ to do with you," I spat.

His eyes narrowed. "So Edward _did_ bite you?" I rolled my eyes. "I am not having this conversation Jacob." I turned the heat on the burner down some more.

He held up his hands in defeat. "Fair enough." He continued to watch me for a few moments until I looked at him. "You know, I still think about the times I had you writhing underneath me, driving you insane."

_I knew he'd bring this up._ "Good for you," I said coldly. "I'm glad one of us does." He placed his hand on my arm. "I hope we can get back to that. I know you want me."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Jacob, I'm with Edward. I only want _him_." I took the pan off the burner and turned it off. I reached up and pulled three bowls out of the cupboard, accidentally exposing my midriff to him. I caught his eyes looking away from it and he groaned. "You can't possibly mean that, Bella. He hurt you; the proof is on your neck. How can you possibly think that you can have a sexual relationship with that bloodsucker?"

I slammed the bowls down on the counter and turned to him. "Because I already am!" I shouted. His eyes grew wide and I noticed him starting to shake. "Not that it's _any_ of your business Jacob, but Edward's already made love to me. Many times in fact. And as far as I'm concerned, many more times to come!"

Before I could say anything else, there was a noise behind me. I closed my eyes. _Please, no._ I turned around and saw Charlie standing there with raised eyebrows.

"Hi dad," I said. He just grunted in response. He looked from Jacob to me and back to Jacob. I started fidgeting as I can't lie worth a damn and I really hoped I wouldn't have to make something up. He turned after a moment and opened the refrigerator, removing a beer. He shook his head, giving me a look that said _we'll talk later._ I swallowed as he left.

"Sorry, Bella."

I turned on Jacob. "I'm sure you are. Like I said, my sex life is _none_ of your business. It wouldn't have been even if I was continuing with casual sex. It's _my _decision, Jacob. I'm free to be with whom I want when I want!"

He shook his head. "You shouldn't be with someone who bites your neck, Bella."

The soup was forgotten as I railed on Jacob. "Jake, get it through that thick skull of yours! It's _my_ life, it's _my_ choice. I will do what I want when I want and whom I want. I love Edward and he loves me, regardless of what you may think. If I want to make love to him, then I will and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!"

I turned on my heel and started to leave the kitchen when Jacob grabbed my elbow and turned me around. "Bella, listen to me!"

I shook my head. "Why Jacob? What do you care?"

He looked me straight in the eye and tightened his grip. "I'm in love with you." He walked me back so my back was against the wall.

My mouth dropped. "What?" I whispered.

"I'm in love with you. I always have been. I can't stand seeing you with him, knowing he will likely kill you at some point. What we had was special, Bella. I want you to choose me instead of him." He never broke eye contact with me.

I shook my head again, this time to clear it. "What?" I asked again.

He sighed. "I love you, Bella." Before I could react he pressed himself against me and planted his lips on mine. He held me tightly, tighter than Edward's ever held me. I couldn't breathe. I tried pushing him back as hard as I could, but he was so damn strong that it didn't matter. _I don't want this._

He wound an arm around my waist and gently cupped my buttocks. His other hand ran up my arm and stopped at my neck. He pulled my scarf off. Since I was pinned against him I couldn't move my arms, couldn't swat his hands away or hide the mark. His tongue forced its way into my mouth without my permission. I pushed harder, debating whether or not to bite down on his tongue. _Why the hell is he doing this?_

Jacob broke the kiss when he needed air. He pulled back to look at me, triumph in his eyes. I smirked and raised my hand. I slapped him, hard, and pushed him back. I moved from the wall and started to walk away. I heard him calling my name. I ignored him and continued on until I tripped. I braced for impact but it didn't happen. He had caught me at my waist.

I turned around and looked at him, replacing my scarf. He was rubbing his jaw from where I hit him. "Jacob, you have just ended our friendship. I have told you time and time again that I am in love with Edward. I never thought you would assault me like that, but you did. I apparently don't know you at all. You need to leave."

I walked out of the room and he followed. "Bella wait," he said, grabbing my arm. I swung around and yanked it away. "I told you to leave," I said venomously. I heard Charlie clear his throat behind me.

"Problem, Bells?" I shook my head. "Nothing I can't handle." I walked to the door and opened it, looking back at Jacob.

He didn't move. Instead he turned to Charlie and said "did you know that Edward Cullen's back? He's back in her life. He broke her heart and he came back to do it again."

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "This true, Bells?"

I sighed. "Yes, Edward is back. I am giving him another chance because he never stopped loving me. And I love him. Nothing that either you two can say will make me change my mind."

Jacob just smirked at me, thinking he'd won. Charlie smoothed the back of his neck and glanced at us both. "Well, you know how I feel about him. I hate what he did to you. But you are an adult now; you are free to make your own decisions. I can't stop you, but that doesn't mean I approve."

Jacob's jaw dropped. I smirked at him. _He thinks he's SO smooth._ But he wasn't done. "Charlie, they've had sex. Bella told me. That was the conversation you walked in on."

_I'm going to kill him. If I don't Edward will._

Charlie cringed and shook his head. "I don't care to know what Bells does in her personal life. It's hers. I do want to know, however, why you have a handprint on your face." He turned and glared at Jacob.

Now it was _my_ turn. "Jacob kissed me. Without my permission. I slapped him to get the point across." Jacob was shooting daggers at me but I didn't care. _Serves him right._

Charlie took a deep breath. "Is this true?" Jacob nodded slowly, resigned. "Jake, I'm disappointed in you. You know how I feel about sexual assault. Never in a million years did I think you would do that. I'm very disappointed in you. Please leave."

Jacob slowly walked to the door. He looked at me on his way out. "I will always love you, Bella. No matter what. Someday you will change your mind. Fire instead of ice. I'll be here when you do."

"Get out," Charlie said firmly. Jacob walked out and I slammed the door. Charlie walked over and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him back. I felt bad about the fight we had a few years ago and I knew this gesture was his way of forgetting; of saying it's okay. I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head and I smiled. Charlie wasn't one for affection but I appreciated the gesture.

When he pulled back he asked if I would help set up the tree. I told him sure and we went to work. The whole afternoon consisted of me decorating the tree and putting the presents under it. I was too tired to cook dinner so Charlie ordered a pizza for us. Afterwards I immediately went to sleep.

It was strange lying in my old bed, but comforting as well. I drifted off quickly. I tossed and turned most of the night; Jacob's kiss the star of my dreams. I kept telling him "no," that I didn't want him and only wanted Edward. It always ended with Edward ripping Jacob's head off. I think I smiled in my sleep.

I sprang up in bed. I was upset that Jacob was wasting my dreams; dreams that should be about Edward's return. That is what they have been for the past month. The first few weeks I dreamt about the attack; about his teeth on my neck. I dreamt that I was changed, that I needed a blood transfusion, and that I died. All were devastating. The latter ones were the happy reunion, when Edward makes love to me again, like before. When I can't get enough of him and I prove my love and commitment.

I was about to get out of bed and get some warm milk when I sensed a familiar feeling. I looked around and my eyes fell on a pair of golden ones, staring right at me.

"Hello, Bella."


	27. Edward's Apology

**A/N**: I am trying to finish this story by the end of the month because of a show I am working on. My writing time has become limited due to learning lines and such. Thanks for all the support; I have enjoyed writing this. I hope you will check out my other stories and put me on alert when my newest one, _The Round Table Story_ debuts. It is your favorite Twilight characters in the court of Camelot.

Thanks for reading. Please review!

********

"Hi, Edward."

Even in the dark, I could see him running his hands through his hair. He was nervous. "How are you?" he asked.

I smiled. "Better now that you're here." I crawled to the edge of the bed.

"Stay where you are."

I froze. "Why?"

He sighed. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

I shook my head. "Why would I be uncomfortable? You're here with me. I love you."

He was quiet for a few moments. I could see his gaze fixated on my neck. "It looks better."

I nodded. _What is wrong with him?_

"Carlisle said all that will remain is a scar. A damn scar that I gave you. I marked you."

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, it's fine. I'm fine. You didn't do it on purpose and I forgive you."

He snorted. I didn't think it possible for vampires to do that, but then I didn't think he could have sex with me either. I continued. "Edward, part of loving someone is forgiving them for their mistakes. You made a mistake in a moment of passion and lost control. You stopped and regained it. I'm fine. " _How many times do I have to say it?_

"Bella, I shouldn't—"

"No!" I yelled. Then I covered my mouth, worried that I woke Charlie up. When there was no movement I continued. "Edward, another part of loving someone includes forgiving yourself when you mess up. I can't completely love or forgive you until you forgive yourself. As long as you continue to beat yourself up over the incident, I'll never have all your love. I'll never have all your trust. There will always be a part of you that you'll hold back. I'll never have all of your soul."

His jaw dropped but he was silent. I could see him processing what I was saying. I crawled back to my pillow and under the covers. I was about to lie back down when he was by my side.

Before I could react, his mouth was on mine. I melted immediately at the electricity between us. It had been long; too long since he's kissed me. I returned it, winding my hands in his hair and pulling him closer. He groaned and I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. It mingled with mine and we did an elaborate dance before I had to pull away for air.

"You're right Bella. That is not being fair to you. I love you."

I smiled. "Can I have all of your soul then?"

He sighed and gently ran his cool fingers over the mark on my neck. "If I have one, yes. It is yours. _All_ of it." I saw the love in his eyes.

"I'm _so_ sorry."

I shrugged. "I forgive you." He smiled and continued stroking the mark. His touch felt amazing and I moaned softly. _It's been seven weeks without him. I am aching for contact._

"What happened with Jacob?"

I froze. "What do you mean?"

His hand stopped and he gently cupped my neck. "You still talk in your sleep. You mentioned Jacob a couple of times, saying 'no.' I was wondering what happened."

I sighed and removed his hand from my neck. I held it in mine and looked directly in his eyes. "Promise not to get upset?"

He gave me a pointed look. "Bella, when you say something like that, I know it's bad. And I can't make that promise. You know me; you know it's my nature to overreact." I smiled as he gestured to my neck in response. "Just tell me."

I drew in a breath. _Edward will kill him. He's known about Jacob's attraction to me for years. What he did to Jeremy will pale in comparison to what he will do to Jake._

"Bella?"

"Jacob kissed me," I blurted out. His eyes didn't change; no sign of anger or jealousy. "I of course didn't want him to and slapped him but he still did it. What you probably heard was that."

His cool hand squeezed mine. "I'm not surprised he did that. I read his mind the last time he was in your place; when he was hurting you and I confronted him. He vowed some sort of retaliation against me. He figured that since the two of you had slept together he owned you and couldn't understand why you'd want to be with me after I left you."

"You're not upset?"

He chuckled softly. "Of course I'm upset. I want to find the dog and rip his throat out. But what would that solve? Nothing. I would be happy that he's out of the picture, potential rival that he is, but it would hurt you. He can't help the way he feels. I find it hard to believe that a guy could _not_ be in love with you, warm and loving that you are." He brought our still-joined hands up and ran the back of his against my cheek.

I leaned into his touch. "I love you, Edward." He smiled and slowly leaned in to kiss me. I met his movements and we shared a chaste kiss. "How did he do it?" he said when he pulled back.

"It first started out with him asking about my neck. He saw right through my lie that I wanted to wear a scarf for fashion." I was a horrible liar; a tree could have seen through it. "He started talking about the treaty, saying that if a Cullen bites a human it was over and they could expose you."

Edward nodded but didn't say anything.

"I said that it didn't happen anywhere near their land and was a moot point. He, of course, wanted to argue but I told him to drop it. Then he decided to annoy me by bringing up the two times we were in bed."

"I figured as much. That's what his mind said." Edward removed his hand from mine and I brought my knees to my chest.

"We started arguing about you. He said that I couldn't have a sexual relationship with you and I told him that we already were. I didn't mean to say anything, but he was getting on my nerves. He started to freak about it, as though it was his business. When I tried to leave, he kissed me. And then I slapped him." I smiled at that last sentence.

He did too. "I'm proud of you. I didn't think you would do anything like that, not that I object."

I laughed loudly and then covered my mouth. It was so easy to forget that Charlie was here. Edward had a way of making me feel so at ease. I just hope I did the same for him.

I yawned. He chuckled. "I should let you get some sleep." I shook my head. "I'm okay. I don't want to sleep while you're here. I don't know how long I'll have you."

He kissed my cheek. "As long as you want me. I won't leave you, Bella. I'm not going anywhere until you order me away."

I smiled and lay down on the bed. He followed my movements and wrapped me in his arms so I was facing him. I started to fall asleep when I thought of something. "What made you decide to come here?"

He smoothed some hair from my face and kissed my temple. "Alice couldn't see you for awhile. That was when Jacob was around. She can't see past the wolves you know." I nodded and snuggled closer. "She was worried something happened and wanted me to check on you. She knew that I was aching for you and figured I was ready to take the next step."

Alice has been instrumental in helping him these past seven weeks. Actually, ever since she had the vision that day at the mall. She tried warning Edward but it was futile; he was convinced that his control wouldn't wane. He hated himself for being so weak and we both tried convincing him that it was actually the opposite; he was stronger than he knew. He could have easily killed me and I wouldn't have known any different. That was her vision; a lifeless, bloodless me. He prevented that from happening. She would say it was a major ego-booster. She also said that he probably wouldn't be intimate for awhile until he got over his fear. I hoped to change his mind quickly.

"I'm glad you were. You don't know how much I've missed you." I placed my hand on his clothed chest.

"Not as much as I've missed you."

I raised my head up and kissed his lips gently, not wanting to push him too far or too fast. He tilted his head to the side and I deepened the kiss, snaking my tongue into his mouth. He chuckled but didn't pull back. He continued to kiss me back, passionately, our mouths moving in frenzy.

The electricity between us grew. I wound my hands in his hair and he shifted himself over me. He removed his mouth from mine and started kissing my neck, the side without the bite mark. His cool breath spurned me on and I placed his hand at my breast. He faltered for a moment, eyes flying open. I let out a low moan to assure him and he cupped it gingerly. His breathing grew heavy and he tightened his grip after a moment, sending sparks through me. He was gaining confidence. I bucked my hips against him, feeling his hardness. He hissed at the contact and placed his lips back on mine, kissing me hungrily. This was like the kiss in the shower; the I-want-you-no-matter-what-the-cost kind of passion. I removed my hands from his hair and placed them under his shirt. I ran them slowly up and down his chest, warming him and feeling every contour of his chiseled torso.

"Bella," he said hoarsely against my lips. He was _definitely_ aroused. "We have to stop." I pulled him closer to me and ground against his hardness. "Why?"

"Charlie."

I sighed. He was right. We couldn't do anything with Charlie being here; that would be rude. Besides, it was his house. Edward pulled back a bit, running a cool finger over the mark. "Besides, I need time."

I nodded. "I was afraid you would say that. Edward, I'll be fine. Remember, we have made love and had no incidents. You won't hurt me. You stopped when your control waned. You should be proud of yourself."

He pulled back a little more. "I know, Bella. I am. But it's still hard. I want so much to be safe for you. I'm afraid that I won't stop next time." He ran his fingers through his hair.

I sat up and he moved with me. "You will. I know you will. The hardest time should have been our first time and you didn't have any problems then." I stroked his cheek gently. He smiled. "The sensations you felt were new to you; now you know what to expect when inside me."

"We will Bella. I promise. But for now, you should get some sleep. It's Christmas Day and I'm sure your father will want to monopolize all your time." He gently pushed me back down and pulled the covers up. He hesitated for a minute and then lay next to me.

"What about you?" I asked through a yawn.

He smiled. "A merry time at the Cullens. Alice has overdone the decorating again and Emmett is looking forward to playing with gadgets and beating Jasper at Wii." He nuzzled my ear. "If you decide you want to come over and share in the madness, give me a call. You should come over at some time so you can get your presents."

I barely heard the last part as I was drifting in and out of consciousness. "Presents" was the only thing I heard. I mumbled something; I can't be sure what, but Edward heard it clearly.

"Yes, presents. At least one from each of us. I also have one that I plan to give you in LA. Something involving a new headboard…."

I totally missed that as I had already drifted off to sleep. Lying there, wrapped in his arms, was the best Christmas present I could receive.


	28. Bella's Revenge

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes."

"And you don't think it's too soon?"

"It's been twelve weeks. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to combust."

He sighed. Edward wanted to try again. He was scared as hell, but was trying to be brave for me. I could feel his hand trembling in mine, his golden eyes scanning our surroundings. I figured since the shower was where the incident went down, the shower was where our new memory would be.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella."

I rolled my eyes. "I know. And you won't." Then I smiled wickedly. "I'll be gentle."

He laughed and we stepped through the threshold into the bathroom. I turned the water on and let it run for a moment. Then I turned to face him.

He was close to me, closer than I expected. His eyes were full of love… and fear. He slowly reached out and untied the robe I was wearing and gently pushed it off my shoulders. His eyes slowly drank my body in and I smiled.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered. He brought his hand up and ran it over my breast, the nipple hardening immediately. I moaned at the contact and he repeated the action.

"I can never get enough of your sounds," he said, his voice strained. "It spurns me on, inflates my ego. You have _no_ idea how much I love the fact that I can make you feel that way." He palmed my breast and gently squeezed it while brushing his hand over my other one.

"I feel the same way, Edward. I don't want anyone but you." It was true. Ever since he came back, hell, _before_ he was back, I felt myself slipping from my previous lifestyle. I knew it wasn't good, but I was drunk with power. I was completely convinced that no man would ever want me. After all, if Edward had left me, how could I _possibly_ hold the attraction of a human? So I started on a destructive path, one to prove to me that I could be desired. But it didn't have that affect. Yes, I felt power, but never beautiful. Never really wanted.

That all changed when Edward came back. He showed me that he did love me and wanted me despite everything. Even after I was raped, he showed how much he cared. Granted, I don't know what happened to Jeremy, but I know why Edward did it. He showed that he truly wanted to pleasure me, a feeling I had been lacking. Yes, I got off before, but something was missing. The feeling of being desired.

And I had never wanted to pleasure a man the way I wanted to pleasure him. I would take a man in my mouth so we could get down to business. I never thought about just giving a guy oral and not getting anything in return. With Edward, that was different. Although I was aching at times for contact, I knew what he needed. He had never gone down this path and needed to be awakened sexually. He had to be confident that I wasn't going anywhere, that my past was just that. Of course there were a few bumps in the road, but we are trying. And that is what counts.

I finally snapped out of it and removed his hand. He looked at me questioningly, probably wondering why I was having him stop. I tugged on his sweatpants and nodded towards the shower. He sighed and removed them in a flash.

I was pleased to see that he was aroused. I stepped into the shower gingerly, as it would be like me to slip and fall and ruin the moment. The water stung my skin and it immediately began to turn red, my hair matting down in the process. I looked back to Edward and raised my eyebrows.

He stepped in and stood under the spray. He closed his eyes and lifted his face, letting the water warm his constantly cold body. He looked so sweet in that moment, like a child enjoying a ray of sunshine. I gently placed my hand on his back and started running it up and down.

He turned around to face me. His eyes were still gold, but they were darkened with desire. He pulled me to him and crushed my lips against his. The feel of his stone body against my fragile one turned me on even more. I moaned in his mouth and pulled him closer to me.

When I couldn't breathe, I pulled back. We were both completely soaked now. He didn't stray far, moving to pepper my neck with kisses. He stopped where the mark was and I froze.

_Please don't pull away, please don't pull away._ I was so worried that he'd change his mind. He had made great progress since being back in LA. He was attentive, more so than he had been, and had gone out of his way to shower me with gifts. First it was flowers, then chocolates and some new living room furniture. He even took me to a pet store to pick out a cat but I couldn't decide on one yet.

But last night was the best gift of all; just thinking about it made me want him even more. It was the night he asked me to be his wife…officially. We had talked about it that day back in August but nothing came of it. I seriously thought he had forgotten. _Silly Bella. Vampires don't forget._

I felt his lips press against the mark. They lingered there for a moment. Then he continued down the rest of my neck and across my collarbone. I sighed in relief. He was over the hump. I figured that would be his most difficult hurdle. I know he looked at it at night when I slept; ran his cool finger over it and cursed himself. But that simple and sweet gesture told me that he was moving on; he was accepting it was the past time to move on.

"Edward," I breathed. He rose up to look at me, mischievous grin on his face. Before I could ask what was up, he was on his knees.

"I thought you could use some payback," he said. He gently opened my legs and brought his tongue out to tease my clit. I placed a hand on the wall to steady myself and let out a loud moan. The sensations coursing through me were so intense and the water didn't help. If anything, it made everything slicker, wetter and hotter.

"That's…not…" I couldn't even get out what I was trying to say. He was incredible and I could feel the pressure building already. He looked up at me, his eyes smiling and moved his tongue to my opening. One hand slowly ran up my body, stopping and caressing my breast gently while the other flicked my over-engorged clit. _Damn, he's good._

He was matching my moans with his own; his cool breath making me wet for him all the more. I knew it wasn't the shower that was doing that; it was him. And I never wanted him to stop.

My hand wound into his hair and I started gently massaging his scalp as I reached my release. He could sense it and flicked my clit and squeezed my nipple at the _same time._ I threw my head back, closed my eyes and screamed his name as the orgasm took me. I started to collapse, my legs feeling like jelly. He held me up and continued to lap up my juices that were no doubt flowing by this time.

After I returned from my high, he stopped and stood up, placing his hands on my shoulders. My eyes were still closed but I could hear his erratic breathing. Edward Cullen was _definitely_ aroused. I was a little worried what I would find when I opened my eyes to look at him. When I did, my breathing hitched.

His eyes were still gold. He was clearly in control and very pleased with himself. I gently raised my hand and stroked his cheek. He leaned into my touch.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. The water had completely slicked his hair back and a few pieces were falling into his eyes. He didn't bother shoving it back into place.

"Perfect," he breathed. "I can continue." I smiled and pulled him to me. His tongue found mine immediately and we danced elaborately in each other's mouths, relishing the sensations. His hands slid from my shoulders to my hips and he pressed me against him, letting me feel how hard he was. And was he! I guess the time without has been good for him; I had _never_ felt him like this before.

"Bella," he whispered hoarsely. I smiled and pushed him against the wall. It cracked against his stone body but luckily nothing came toppling down. I pounced on him, running my hands up and down his body while devouring his mouth with mine. He kissed back feverishly, letting me take the lead. I ran my hand down and gently ran my fingers over his tip. He hissed in my mouth and held me tighter. I was gaining confidence by his reaction and wrapped my hand around his manhood. I gently started moving it back and forth, the water making an easy lubricant.

He released me from the kiss and rested his head on the wall, closing his eyes. I continued to press my body against him and started moving my hand faster. He was moaning loudly, spurning me on and I had the hunger for honey and cream. I began to lower myself on my knees when he stopped me.

"I don't want that, not today," he said. He picked me up.

"Uh, okay," I said, unsure of what he was doing. He shut the water off and pushed the curtain back. He reached for a towel and handed it to me.

I looked at him questioningly, hurt evident in my eyes. After wrapping himself in a towel he said "we're not done yet." He stepped out of the shower and turned around, extending his hand.

I still had no idea what he was up to. I took his hand and he led me into the bedroom. He toweled off quickly and helped me, purposely avoiding my wondering eyes. He then pulled me to the bed.

"I want you lying on something when I am inside you," he said. "That last time was an animal, a monster who wanted satisfaction; but this is now. You should be laid out and made love to properly." I lay in the center of the bed and he hovered over me, kissing every part of my body.

He lined himself up and never broke eye contact as he entered me, eyes staying gold. My back arched at the sensation and he growled. He began thrusting; slowly at first and growing faster each time and I matched his movements with my own. I ran my hands down his chest and his back, wanting to calm him. He had started trembling; whether it was from pleasure or fighting for control I don't know. But I wanted to help.

"God, I've missed this," he breathed against my neck, against my mark. His movements increased and I could feel myself tensing for the orgasm that was building. He moved his mouth to my breast and sucked on my nipple. I gripped onto the sheets from the pleasure coursing through me as the orgasm neared. My breathing increased dramatically. His still wet hair dripped on my overheated skin. It felt fantastic.

He moved from my breasts and wrapped me in his arms, drawing me closer to him. He slowed his movements, sensing my orgasm, but it did nothing to stop the electricity between us. If anything, it increased it. My body was on fire; every nerve ending alive. Although we've had some pretty wild sex before, nothing compared to what we were feeling now. Well, what I was feeling now. _Is this what they refer to as make-up sex?_

"I'm so close," I whispered. His cool, bare chest against my breasts created a friction like I had never known. His pelvic bone fit perfectly against mine and matched the movements I was making. Our souls were one again. Then it hit me. My back arched and I was temporarily paralyzed from how intense it was. His movements never faltered, his breathing never changed. I gripped him with everything I had as I rode through the sensation coursing through me.

After a few minutes, he tensed and his grip tightened slightly. He had been perfect the entire time. I was ready to explode again but had been holding back to join him. I thought I'd try something; a little revenge of my own. I leaned forward slightly and sunk my teeth into his neck, the same spot where my scar was. I bit down, hard.

It was his undoing. He released me from his grip and grabbed the headboard as his release hit, snarling loudly. He didn't break the headboard this time, but the metal did bend under his grip, forming his handprint. His eyes were squeezed shut and his entire body was like a steel rod. He remained in that position and I was worried that I pushed him too far. I felt his cool venom inside of me and I sighed, happy that I did that to him.

He collapsed on top of me and didn't move while his breathing returned to normal. I was getting worried. "Edward?" I said quietly.

"Yeah," he replied after a minute.

"Are you okay?"

He looked up and into my eyes. The gold had never left. "Perfect. That was…mind-blowing, Bella. Never has it been like that." He lifted himself off me and pulled out, groaning at loss of contact.

"For me neither. That was a first for us both. And one I hope will continue." He rolled to my side and pulled me to him closely. He breathed in my scent before he spoke. "I hope so too. I love you Bella."

"As do I, you."

I lay in his embrace and started to drift off, completely spent from what just happened. I was on cloud nine, ecstatic that things seemed to be okay. Then he spoke.

"Nice revenge on the bite."

I chuckled and looked up to his neck. There was a mark there, faint, but it was there. I brought my hand up and ran my fingers over it. "It'll fade with time. All you'll have is a scar," I teased.

He laughed. "I hope so. I want everyone to know that it is the mark of a woman in love. A mark from my fiancée."

I smiled and brought my lips to his softly. "If we can continue making love like that, how can you bear for me to grow old?"

He ran his hand down my back gently. "I can't. It's one thing I'm working on; deciding whether to change you or not. I can't live without you and after what just happened…."

I froze. "Yes?"

He turned and smiled at me, clearly ending the conversation. "Get some sleep, love. I plan to ravage you in the morning and you'll need lots of energy."


	29. Alice's Fear

**A/N**: I have decided to write a sequel. It will be a little while before I post it as I have a few other stories I want to get done. But I don't think this story can be finished with thirty chapters. It has to continue.

These last two chapters set the stage for what's to come. I will try and give you previews if you want me to. Thanks so much for reading this story; I have enjoyed writing it.

And now, the conclusion to _Bella's Revenge…._

********

Alice has been vocal in trying to get me to set a date. I told her that yes, I agreed to marry her brother, but not at present. There are still things I want to do, want to try, before becoming his wife. Not that it would change too much, but I wanted that freedom. Alice, however, did not share that opinion.

"_Bel_-la!" Alice whined as she tossed several bridal magazines on the couch, "you _have_ to set a date."

"Why?"

"So that those other guys will back off. I've seen them calling you." She sat down next to the magazines.

It was true. Ever since I said "yes" to Edward, it was like a flip was switched. I've heard from Cameron, Alex, Chris and Scott all wanting another sex-session. As though they all knew. They couldn't have as the only ones who knew were the Cullens, but it was still strange.

Chris and Alex both knew I was dating Edward; why they wanted another romp was beyond me. But they still tried. I swore Cameron off as he was a horrible lover. Of course, he thinks he's God's gift to women. If only he knew how self-centered he _really_ was. And Scott had broken up with his girlfriend. Apparently he caught her cheating and thought I might be willing to "teach" him something else.

It was quite comical, really. They all seemed to call at once. Well, all in one day I should say. I had deleted their numbers out of my phone (no reason to keep them) so I didn't recognize them. I answered when Scott called and Cameron left two messages before I bothered to return it. Alex, of course, just talked to me at work. He told me that his divorce to Megan was almost final. I told him not to rule out some sort of retaliation; she was quite pissed about the affair. She had done the same to him, so it was rather hypocritical, but I was _not_ about to get involved in that soap opera.

"Alice, I told you. I love Edward. I will be his wife, just not yet. I have several things I want to accomplish first."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Like what?"

I shrugged. "I'd like to visit Europe. Maybe scuba dive off the Florida coast. Ride a horse on the beach. Have a single-girls' night where we all get trashed and visit a stripper." That last part was simply to get a rise out of Alice.

"You can do all of those things married," she said. "Well, maybe not the strip club."

I rolled my eyes. "I suppose you don't let Jasper go to one?"

She shook her head. "He's allowed to look but not touch. He doesn't go, however, because he doesn't want to see anyone but me."

_Gag me_. "That's great, Alice. I'm happy you two have the perfect sex life." I was annoyed. It wasn't her fault, but I was. Although I love them dearly, they are clearly too cute for their own good sometimes. Too much saccharine can make you sick.

She scoffed. "I would hardly say it's 'perfect,' Bella. We've had our share of ups and downs. Still do sometimes." She looked down at the magazines and then back at me. "I've never told anyone this, but I was scared to death the first time we were together."

"Why?" I asked, sitting down. I tucked one foot under me and slowly sipped the tea I had made. The house was unusually quiet as Edward was out hunting. He knew through Alice's mind that we would be talking wedding stuff and he couldn't stand to hear any more. _Lucky_.

"Because he had been with Maria. She was the one who created him and they had a love affair for awhile. I know that Jasper loves me but I was insecure at the time. I kept thinking 'am I doing this right? What if he doesn't like it? What if he's thinking about Maria?' She stopped and stared off into space for a moment.

"As you know, when change happens for vampires it is rare," she said when continuing. "I knew that we would meet, but I didn't know there would be such baggage. And it was all on my end. Jasper was completely understanding of my insecurities. He was patient and calm with me. Whenever I would compare myself to Maria, he would always tell me that there _was_ no comparison and that he loved _me._ He never loved her; just used her the way she used him. It took me awhile to believe that. Once I realized that we would be okay, however, I became more adventurous. And voila!" She made a hand gesture to emphasize her point.

"But surely during those 'adventures' you still had awkward moments?" I asked. Alice didn't talk much about her sex life. I knew about Emmett tasting like lavender and that disgusted Rosalie, but I didn't know about Jasper. Alice was pretty discreet when it came to their sex life. When it came to _my_ sex life, however….

"Oh of course. I thought that I broke his manhood once." I choked on a sip of my tea. She laughed and I looked at her. "What?"

"Bella, as you know, the unit becomes hard when aroused. It can be damaged. One time I was a little _too_ enthusiastic and came down a little too hard…."

That was all I needed to know. With her vampire strength, I could see it clearly. But Jasper's body was the same way; that shouldn't happen. As though reading my mind she said: "Two stone figures banging against each other hard can still be damaged. We were worried for awhile. Imagine Jasper trying to explain _that_ to Carlisle."

I chuckled. I couldn't believe Alice was being so open with me. She never has been before. _I guess when you're family you really can talk about anything._

"Once I tied Jasper up to a bed with black silk ribbon. I thought it would be great to have him lie there all day and beg me for what he wanted. Little did I know that the ribbon would be torn to shreds after an hour." She chuckled.

I smiled. It reminded me of Edward and the handcuffs, how he broke the headboard because of the passion flowing through him. We have since bought six pairs of handcuffs and destroyed two.

"What happened?"

"He came looking for me and we had _very_ hot sex. Come to think of it, that was just after we came to the Cullens'…."

Alice was gone again, in some far-away land that I couldn't visit. I got up and went to the kitchen. I placed the mug in the sink and cleaned off the counter. Then I remembered a few items to add to my grocery list. I wasn't uncomfortable talking about this with her; I just wish that Alice wasn't so eager. I wanted her to be open, but this was too much. I could never talk to her that intimately. Course, I wouldn't have to. She would see everything anyways.

The rest of her visit was eventful. We narrowed colors down to navy blue, silver, lilac and pastel pink. I don't know why she asked for my opinion on anything as she was dead-set on things, but she did. She wanted to have cake. I told her that probably wasn't a good idea since half the guests wouldn't eat it, but she didn't listen. "Edward will eat it to make you happy," she said. Then it was on to music.

We were on the topic of music for an hour when she suddenly froze. She sucked in her breath sharply. I knew she was having a vision. I sat back and waited patiently. Her eyes grew wide and she screamed.

"Jasper! No!" She jumped to her feet.

"Alice, what? What is it?" I stood up and placed my hand on her shoulder. She looked at me, but didn't see me. She was looking _through _me, at her vision.

"Edward!!!!" she screamed. She bolted for the door. I was hot on her heels.

"Alice! Please!"

She spun around to face me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I have to go. Jasper and Edward are in trouble."

She jumped in her yellow Porsche and I was right behind her.

"What are you doing, Bella?" she asked as she started the engine.

"I'm going with you. If Edward's in trouble then I want to help." She yanked the car forward abruptly before I got in.

I looked at her and she shook her head. "I can't let you, Bella. In the vision, you are killed. That's why I see Edward getting hurt."

"Okay, so what ab--"

She took off before I could finish the sentence. I turned and walked back into my apartment. I closed the door, locked it just in case, and leaned against it. My head was spinning. _What had Alice seen? Why was she so worried about Jasper and Edward? Are they okay?_

I ran to the bedroom and grabbed my phone. I dialed Edward's number quickly. _Please answer, please answer…._

"Bella, love. What's up?"

_Thank God!_ "Alice just left. She had a vision. I…don't know what it was about. But she said that you and Jasper were hurt."

I heard him chuckle. "Hurt? What is she talking about?"

I shrugged as though he could see me. "I don't know, Edward. She said that she saw me killed in the vision." He drew in his breath. I heard a growl in the background. "Where are you?"

"Hunting with Jasper. That was the mountain lion we're tracking. Look, I don't know what Alice saw, love, but don't leave your place. Do you hear me?"

I nodded, again like he could see me. "Yes," I said softly. I felt tears come to my eyes. I just wanted him here with me, safe and keeping me safe.

"Keep your phone with you at all times. We are not far and should only be gone a few more hours. Then I will rush back to Los Angeles. You should be…" he trailed off.

"What?" I heard a commotion on the other end. Jasper's voice was muffled but I could hear him say Edward's name and I thought I vaguely made out "Victoria."

"Edward! Edward?" I screamed.

The phone went dead.


	30. Bella's Dream

**A/N**: The final chapter.

********

Edward never returned my call. After worrying myself sick and emptying the entire contents of my stomach in the toilet, I decided to lie down. I didn't think I'd sleep a wink but the worrying was driving me mad.

I fell into slumber quickly. I was walking in the woods in Forks. The sun was slowly setting and a dense fog was moving in. There was a flash of something moving in front of me. I kept walking towards the clearing. Then I heard a voice. It was low, a whisper. I could faintly make out some of the words. It was all around me. I caught "change" and "eternity" and "Edward" and "thirst." I heard growls and snarls. The flash once again crossed my path. Goosebumps started rearing their ugly heads. I stopped in my tracks. The fog had a reddish hue to it.

I was lying in the meadow with Edward on top of me. We were making violent love. I felt his cool hand on my breast and I arched my back. He kissed me passionately and thrusted into me hard. It felt amazing; didn't hurt at all. I moaned his name and pulled him closer. His head moved to my neck and he started peppering kisses down my body.

Exquisite. That was the only way to describe it. He was fantastic. I could feel him rubbing my vaginal walls. I was so close. He smiled and his hand moved down, finding my clit. He began rubbing circles around it. It was too much; I reached my release. I closed my eyes and gripped his hair as I cried out his name, everything going blank for a moment. He snarled and continued his thrusts. I opened my eyes to watch him cum and was startled to see the image in front of me. I was no longer making love to Edward. I knew this figure, but couldn't understand what was going on. But I wasn't resisting; in fact I was enjoying him. He was fantastic, driving me to the brink again and again and then pulling back. I moaned his name several times and enjoyed what he was doing to me. His threw back his head as his orgasm hit and I felt the cool venom inside me. His black eyes found mine as he kissed me again. It was passionate, loving. He told me he loved me and there would never be another.

In this dream, I was not at all concerned where Edward had gone to.

Then I was back in the woods, alone. The darkness and fog had moved in and it was a bit frightening. I felt a chill in the air and my teeth started chattering. Suddenly that figure was right in front of me, eyes still black. Blood was trickling down his chin and his shirt was torn. He raised his hand out to take mine. Knowing I should be afraid, I placed it in his. We started walking to the clearing. He was silent; all I could make out was his breathing. It was ragged, like when hunting.

"What is…" I started to ask, an echo bouncing off my voice. His black eyes glanced at me menacingly. I stopped when he did and looked around. The fog had lifted. We were standing in a corner of the meadow. All the flowers were dead. They hadn't been alive for some time. I saw Edward standing across the way on the opposite tree line. I started to walk to him when I felt a tug. The figure still had my hand; his grip was painful. I asked him what was going on but he didn't say anything. He just looked around. It was as though he was possessed.

Now I started to become afraid. I called to Edward, the echo bouncing back. He didn't see me, didn't look at me. He walked to the center of meadow, looking down. Suddenly I saw another form, a woman. She was beautiful. She had long, curly brown hair and black eyes, a petite frame and full lips. Her neck bore a scar. Teeth marks. And her skin was iridescent, the same color as Edward's. She walked to him smiling and gently stroked his cheek. He smiled back and kissed her gently. He called her "Bella." Then they turned and walked towards us, holding hands. Edward's eyes were black. He nodded at the figure still holding my hand as they passed and then glared at me. "You are not my Bella," the echoy voice said. It was laced with venom. The woman next to him wrapped her arms around his middle and smirked at me. Then she started laughing, a light, melodic laugh. Edward looked me up and down with disgust as I tried to comprehend what was going on. Then with a shake of his head, he turned and the two of them walked away, never looking back.

I was destroyed. Who was this woman he was walking with? What happened? Why does this figure look like this? Why did my vision change? Why was I making love to Edward and then him?

I started hyperventilating; I couldn't understand what was going on. The figure with iridescent skin tugged on my hand and started walking to the spot where Edward had been. I followed; I didn't really have a choice. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. I figured he was comforting me for what I saw. I felt his lips at my neck. Suddenly the mark on my neck started burning, but all I noticed was the calm that washed over me. I leaned into the hug and sighed.

Then everything went blank.

I bolted up in my bed, breathing heavily and trying to figure out what had just happened. _Who was that woman? Was that an immortal me? Or someone else? And if it is someone else, how did she win Edward's heart? What was I doing with that figure? Why was I letting him make love to me? I love Edward, not him. What the hell is going on?_

I checked my phone. No message from Edward. I had not heard from him for almost twelve hours. To say I was worried was an understatement. I was literally panicking. I was considering calling Jacob and having the wolves come down to LA in case there was trouble. Nothing from Alice either. Her vision worried me more than anything. Edward's phone could have been dropped while hunting mountain lion and he just hasn't replaced it yet. But Alice. Alice was scary. She saw Edward hurt and me dead. And what happened to Jasper? Where were the other Cullens? Was it a battle? Did some more rogue vampires come into the area?

That would be my luck. Edward had told me to not leave until he was back. I was planning on it. I would stay home, call in sick if I had to. I knew my job was safe; that didn't bother me in the slightest. But I knew people would start to wonder. Alex would probably call as I usually see him at work. And now that I'm on speaking terms with Charlie, we talk fairly frequently. What if I was cut off from him?

_Don't be silly, Bella. Edward didn't say you couldn't call people._ That was true. In fact, why couldn't I call Alice?

So I did. It rang. And rang. No answer at all. I sighed and tried Rosalie. Same thing. _What is going on?_ The Cullen clan not answering?

I sucked in a breath and dialed Jacob before I had second thoughts. He was not happy to hear from me. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm worried, Jake," I said. There was no time for casual conversation. "I'm worried about the Cullens. Alice was here with me and had a vision. She mentioned Jasper and Edward and took off. I called Edward and we talked for a bit and then his phone went dead. I haven't heard back and that was nearly twelve hours ago. Can you or the wolves check on them? Just make sure they're okay? You don't have to say anything, just go by their house."

Laughter on the other line. "You can't be serious, Bells. You want us to _protect_ your precious Cullens? Protection from what?"

I climbed out of bed and went into the kitchen. I leaned against the sink. "I don't know. But I'm about to panic. Please Jacob. I'm begging you."

He sighed. "Okay. I'll see what I can do. You owe me, Swan."

I nodded. When am I going to learn that they can't see that? "Anything but sex, Black." I knew Jacob.

He growled. "Fine," he spat. "I'll gather Sam and the others. We'll check on your precious Cullens and report back in an hour or so."

"Thank you, Jacob."

After hanging up I started cleaning. I needed something to keep my mind off of Edward. _He's fine. He just lost his phone._ There was a spring in my step at the fact that Jacob was going to find them. He may have still been angry with me, but he was helping me. It meant he cared.

There was a knock at the door after an hour. I ran to it, hoping like hell it was Alice. I smiled as I threw it open. The smiled faded as my brain realized who was standing in front of me. It was him, the man in my dream. The one who replaced Edward making love to me, who bit my scar and changed me. In my dream, I belonged to _him_, not Edward. _It can't be!_ I stared at the figure, frozen with fear.

"Hello, Bella," the soft voice said. His eyes were black and there was something radiating from them, something I couldn't figure out. Blood was trickling down his chin and his shirt was torn. He looked me up and down and licked his lips. I backed up slowly as he started approaching me.

_It can't be_, I repeated. The figure smiled. It was.

Jasper.

**A/N**: Wow! How was THAT for an ending?

Here is the summary and preview for _My Heart's Desire._ I will get it up as soon as possible.

Summary: Sequel to _Bella's Revenge._ Bella has been abducted by Edward's brother. Edward wages war on anyone who stands in his way of finding his one true love. Brother against brother. Can he save her before she's killed? Before she's turned? Or before she falls in love? How can Edward ever forgive his brother? The one he trusts. The one known as…Jasper.

Preview:

"Wh-Where are we?" I opened my eyes slowly and took in my surroundings. We were in another hotel, this time a classy one. The bed was a queen-size and smelled of clean sheets. There was a couch in the corner and the television was facing it. There was a figure standing in front of the window.

"Alaska," the soft voice said. I smiled. Jasper had said he was going to take me to Iceland with a few stops on the way. I asked why Iceland and he replied simply "I've always wanted to go there."

"That's nice," I replied. He moved from his spot and stood in front of me. His cool hand brushed against my forehead gently. Since we left, I've gotten to know Jasper better. He really is wonderful and has been great to me. And I can't stop looking at him. I've seen him without his shirt twice. Nice, firm abs, toned arms and low-slung pants that only enhance my imagination.

I closed my eyes. _I have to stop thinking this way. It's Jasper. Alice's Jasper. She would kill me if she knew I was having sexual thoughts about her husband. Not to mention it would destroy Edward._ Edward. I didn't know if he was safe or even alive. Jasper told me very little about what happened. I would do whatever it took to keep Edward safe, even if that meant being changed.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. He was still stroking my forehead but saw my eyes were closed. I opened them and nodded. He smiled. "Lie with me?" I asked.

He did. He was very cautious, very hesitant. He slowly removed his hand and unbuttoned his shirt. His muscles stretched his tee shirt tight against him and he crawled into bed next to me. After a moment, he put an arm around me.

I snuggled back into his chest. I craved contact. We had been gone eight weeks and I was desperate for a man's touch. I shouldn't be thinking of him this way, but I couldn't help it. I knew he was attractive, but he had never held so much desire in me as he did now. I wanted him. _All _of him.

I sighed. He shifted so he was hovering over me, his weight on one arm. I knew that wasn't painful at all for him, being the vampire that he is. I slowly brought my hand up and ran it slowly down his arm, feeling his skin warm at my touch. His eyes, consistently black these days, closed and he moaned softly.

"That feels amazing," he whispered. I continued my movements. He opened his eyes. The blackness was still there, of course, but something else as well. They were full of depth, passion. Desire. I could only stare into the black void. I was lost, mesmerized by the passion I saw there, the beauty. I could not look away.

Then, very gently, he lowered his lips to mine.


End file.
